Super Bowl Predictions 2012: Super Guarantees from Prop Bets to MVP Award

Super Bowl super guarantees are here, covering everything from Madonna's halftime show to how the Patriots offensive line will fare. We have a lot to cover so let's giddy up. 

Are you ready for some football? Well, of course you are. That was a stupid question judging by the ridiculous amount you just spent at your local Costco to ensure this Super Bowl party was the best ever.

How about the truth, can you handle that? Tough noogies, because here it is. 

First, we take on the glorious and utterly hilarious endeavors posed by Prop Bets. These things give every lovable degenerate an actual reason to be heard on Sunday. Go ahead man-with-a-gambling-problem, tell us about the Kelly Clarkson wager.

Prop Bets

Coin Flip: The coin flip takes center stage, literally. At midfield, a coin will be tossed and millions will actually care. The fact that the NFC has won the toss 14 straight times will be thrown around your living room. 

Giants captain Zak DeOssie is taking tails, so take tails. There is obvious voodoo going on here, and I am not about to bet against it.

Will Kelly Clarkson Show her Belly?: This is an actual bet according to Bovada.lv and they carefully chose to use the word belly. 

No woman wants to admit she has a belly, let along have it discussed by millions. Bank on Clarkson covering up the midsection.

Will Madonna wear an NFL jersey or shirt at any point during the Super Bowl Halftime show?: Madonna is like Peyton Manning, clinging to the last vestiges of yesteryear.

I fully expect her to show up with a wardrobe that is as close to "look, I'm still sexy" as possible. This doesn't include a Gronkowski replica. 

While it's not a prop bet, you can bank that we will all be saying how horrendous the halftime show was, because we do it every year.

The Game 

Here we delve into the stuff that matters.

Touchdown on first possession: This is going to a be a raucous shootout, and I can't wait for it. If the Patriots get the ball, I am fully confident that Tom Brady will orchestrate immediate genius. If the Giants get it, we will see quickly how awful New England's secondary is.

Winner: This is the big one. I like the Patriots as a deserving team, but they have far too many deficiencies on defense and are facing an underrated attack that features versatile and prolific receivers.

The secondary is going to have fits with an Eli Manning who is red hot right now, but that is not where I see the game taking a crucial turn. 

The Patriots' offensive line is stout as any, but the Giants' defensive front is as athletic and unrelenting as the top-touted Lions' line. 

I see them wearing down an o-line that gave up 32 sacks in 2011. And this is why I am giving the Giants the edge, and making them my Super Bowl winner.

MVP: This is Eli Manning's award. He is the poignant pick considering his brother will be in the stands rooting him on. He will also be the correct pick with what he is about to prove to the world. 

He has the weapons in Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz and will pick apart a soft Pats defense all game. Staying on pace with Brady will be an amazing feat, and only the win will be needed to guarantee this award goes to Manning.

Follow @gabezal