The 8 Most Unbelievable Wrestling Plotlines Ever

Pro Wrestling. It's not exactly known for its gritty, realistic storylines, is it?

Indeed, over the years we've seen some wild, zany angles that wouldn't be out of place on madcap  shows like Days of Our Lives or General Hospital. WWE tends to hire a lot of soap opera writers, you see, and their wacky on-screen product reflects that more often than not.

TNA, on the hand, has been booked for the past few years by controversial writer Vince Russo, a scribe whose body of work isn't exactly known for being rooted in firm logic and common sense. Which is putting it mildly.

Hey, if you want realism, go watch Ring of Honor. 

With this in mind, here are eight most unbelievable storylines from TNA and WWE that, even by already low standards wrestling standards, stretched the boundaries of what is considered believable. 

Nonsensical paternity suits, strange kidnappings, heels that live in Hell, the most laughably incompetent lawyers ever, invisible English witches...they're all on here.

Custody Battle over Rey Mysterio's Son

The Plot: In late 2005, Smackdown was dominated by an absurd, telenovela-like storyline, which saw Eddie Guerrero (at that point playing a dastardly heel) shockingly announce on live television that he was in fact the biological father of former friend Rey Mysterio's young son, Dominic.

Per the storyline, Guerrero had an illicit relationship while separated from his wife, resulting in Dominic's birth. Unwilling to raise the child, Guerrero fobbed off the child to Rey and his wife Angie, who adopted and raised Dominic as their own.

The spiteful Eddie then decided he wanted his back, and declared his intention to regain custody of his child. Cue a lot of melodramatic acting and over-the-top weeping from Rey and Angie as their young son was torn away from them. 

In an attempt to keep Dominic, whom he loved dearly, Rey then challenged Eddie to a ladder match at the Summerslam pay-per-view, with the winner gaining full custody of the child.

In the end, Rey emerged victorious (with some help from Eddie's disgruntled wife Vickie, who made it clear she felt Eddie only wanted Dominic back to hurt Rey, rather than out of love for his son), and the Mysterio family were reunited. Awwwww.

Logic Loopholes: Um...are we seriously supposed to believe child services were okay with a child's custody being determined in a ladder match on pay-per-view?

This point was made even more apparent when a female social worker character made a cameo in the angle.

Instead of telling all involved not to be so stupid and sort out their problems by talking about it like normal people, like any competent social worker would, she...actually went along with the entire thing and even attended the match with Dominic to award him to whichever grappler won! What? 

Kane Attempts to Drag Zack Ryder to Hell

Plot: A newly masked Kane made his return to WWE last month and immediately went after John Cena, delivering a vicious chokeslam to the star at the end of the 12/12 Raw.

In the following weeks, Kane explained he was going after Cena in an attempt to get him to "embrace the hate" and get the long-suffering wrestler to turn on the disloyal fans who had booed him so vociferously over the years.

The whole angle seems to be a riff of Star Wars, with Kane playing the role of Darth Vader in his attempts to get John "Luke Skywalker" Cena to turn to the dark side.

Inevitably, Kane's attention turned to the star's on-screen best friend Zack Ryder, too. Likely seeing  Ryder as a way to get to Cena, at the end of duo's tag match on the 1/2 edition of Raw the monster temporarily incapacitated Cena then went after Ryder and attempted to drag him to Hell! Hey, it's strangely fitting: the ideas of WWE Creative are already there anyway. 

Thankfully, Cena recovered just in time to heroically rescue his friend from his one-way trip to the underworld, and the show ended with the stunned pair staring in shock as a huge ball of fire blasted through the ring (WWE's top notch special effects teams may have been the only people to emerge from this debacle with any credibility whatsoever).

Logic Loopholes: Okay, so the way to get to Hell is...going underneath a WWE ring? What? Hey, hasn't it been firmly established in storylines that Hornswoggle lives under there? Did he get roasted? And what about Little People's Court ? There are too many problems with this angle to count. 

Abyss' Reign of Terror in 2010

Plot: In late 2010, intent of heralding the takeover of the mysterious "They", the monster Abyss turned heel and went on a violent rampage, kidnapping and horribly torturing unsuspecting audience and staff members on an almost weekly basis.

Right on camera during episodes of iMPACT. 

He even abducted TNA president Dixie Carter at one point and held her hostage. 

Logic Loopholes: Where to start? Why wasn't Abyss arrested? I mean, this wasn't just regular heelish acts he was committing, he was actually abducting people!

Did no cops in Florida watch iMPACT? I mean, I know iMPACT has always struggled to gain a higher viewership, but come on. You'd think someone would have noticed and taken legal action.

Also, why did people continue coming to The iMPACT Zone when there was a chance they could be taken hostage by a crazed monster? Did any of the injured staff members end up suing TNA for placing them in an "unsafe working environment"?

So many questions.

Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan Steal TNA from Dixie Carter

Plot: Following on from Abyss' shenanigans, after the "They" reveal at Bound For Glory, it emerged that Eric Bischoff had conned Dixie Carter into signing away ownership of the company to him and Hulk Hogan on the iMPACT before the show.

Bischoff threw a bunch of papers into Dixie's face, reassuring her that her she was signing paperwork that would get Abyss (who had abducted her earlier on in the show) out of the company for good.

A traumatized Dixie, still reeling from what just happened, signed them without even looking at them. Turned out she actually gave the dastardly pair total control over TNA. Oops.

Logic Loopholes: While Dixie may have signed the papers, legally Hogan and Bischoff didn't have a leg to stand on, as any lawyer will tell you. It was fraud, pure and simple. Dixie was under duress and did not know what she was signing.

That this all happened on camera in front of millions of viewers, and Bischoff openly gloated about the fact that he had committed a crime makes it even more damning.

No judge in the world would have heard this case and sided with Hogan and Bischoff. Except, nonsensically, the one judge in Texas who apparently did side with the duo against Dixie and allowed them to retain power over the company. What?

Vince McMahon's Paternity Suit

Plot: In late 2007, Vince McMahon was the subject of a paternity suit which alleged he had fathered an illegitimate son with an unknown woman. And the child was a current WWE Superstar.

 Over the weeks, the WWE owner  was confronted by an attorney who refused to reveal the name of the mother or the child, instead giving Vince cryptic clues to the identity of his son.

This angle sent shock waves through the company, as every star wondered/feared "Could Vince be my dad?"   

Logic Loopholes: Has anyone ever heard of a paternity suit in which the man accused is not allowed to know the name of woman who was suing him or the identity of the child he has allegedly fathered?

And was it even that ethical or professional for the lawyer to give out tantalizing clues every week to the defendant (like this was some sort of game show instead of a serious legal matter which has the courts involved?). 

Also, why was almost every single WWE wrestler freaking out at the prospect of Vince being their father? Didn't they trust their mothers to tell them the truth about their paternity? Are we supposed to believe that everyone in the company harbors some doubt over who their real parents are? 

Shane McMahon: Heel Killer

Plot: In late 2003 a newly unmasked Kane went on a roaring rampage of terror taking out every babyface in sight, including RVD, Steve Austin and Jim Ross. He even attacked company CFO Linda McMahon, giving her a brutal tombstone on the stage.

This led to the return of Shane McMahon, who was enraged at Kane's hideous attack on his mother, and proceeded to take the fight to the monster in a way no one else could!

In early 2009, demented heel Randy Orton delivered a brutal punt to Vince McMahon, seriously injuring the WWE owner.  This led to the return of Shane McMahon, who was enraged at Orton's hideous attack on his father, and proceeded to take the fight to "The Viper" in a way no one else could!

Logic Loopholes: Umm...how is the graying, middle-aged, slightly pudgy Shane McMahon suddenly a match for all these tough, powerful heels? What, because he watches MMA and does a funny little dance?

While Shane has shown himself to be a decent wrestler capable of competent matches (in bouts with X-Pac and Test in 1998 and 1999) the presentation of Shane as an unstoppable bad ass who could take on the company's top heels and send them running was still completely ridiculous and reeked of egotism (hey, being the bosses' son pays, as Garret Bischoff will tell you). 

Edge Kidnaps Paul Bearer

Plot: In the winter of 2010, Smackdown's storylines were blighted by a deeply unsettling angle in which the babyface Edge kidnapped Paul Bearer, the father of his hated enemy Kane (who once again makes an appearance on this dubious list, indicating that Glenn Jacobs perhaps needs to learn how to say "No" to some of WWE's wackier ideas). 

Over the weeks, we watched as Edge (again, the guy we we supposed to cheer for) dragged the frail, tied up old man from arena to arena, torturing him and taunting the heartbroken Kane (the heel evil we were supposed to boo), who could only look on in horror, totally helpless. The whole thing then culminated in Edge actually getting Kane to kill Paul Bearer by mistake. Really. 

Logic Loopholes: So how exactly was Edge getting Paul through airport security to travel all over the country? Where were the cops in all this? After all, Edge was openly admitting on television he had kidnapped someone and we saw it with our own eyes!

Why were WWE brass allowing such a patent crime to happen in their company? And were there ever any consequences or legal investigation into to Bearer's "murder" on television?

Winter and Angelina Love

Plot: In 2010, the mysterious Winter shows up in TNA out of nowhere (literally, she just appeared in the mirror of the make up room one day)  and sets out to capture the heart of TNA Knockout Angelina Love—by any means necessary.

Whether it's using her power of invisibility, displaying her homicidal tendencies, or utilizing mind-controlling drugs, there is nothing this crazy girl won't do to get what she wants!

Logic Loopholes: Okay, so throughout her time in TNA Winter has been shown or hinted to be (deep breath) invisible at will, a ghost, a witch, a drug-peddler, a sociopath, a vampire, a time-traveler and also, possibly, a murderer (it was once heavily implied she was going to stab Velvet Sky with a large pair of scissors if Sky continued to stand in the way of her relationship with Angelina).  

Umm... is this the wackiest female character in wrestling history or what?

Not to mention, Angelina Love sure didn't seem to mind that Winter had stalked her and even drugged her for several months in a bid to have her wicked way with her.

Indeed, when did finally emerge from her drug-addled haze, she proceeded to enter into a consensual partnership and relationship and the two have been attached at the hip ever since. It was almost be touching...if the whole thing wasn't so, well, crazy.