Raw Recap and Reactions: 1/16/2012

For my first edition of the Raw Recap and Reactions, we will cover the continuing conflict between WWE Champion CM Punk and his Royal Rumble opponent, Dolph Ziggler, along with the Kane and John Cena feud, and the epic return of Mick Foley.

I will detail each segment, match, and promo for you all who missed the show. If you're interested in my reactions, just look for them at the end of each time label listed.

Feel free to comment as well.

We open with...

Mick Foley Returns, Ziggler/Punk Square Off, and Johnny Ace Lays Down the Law

9:02 - Mick Foley comes out to open the show. Good god, he has the worst limp I’ve seen in a while, but he is looking good with that trimmed beard and combed hair. 

But, I digress. Mick announces that he will be one of the contestants in the 2012 Royal Rumble match. 

Before my head begins to rumbles with thoughts of “That will be a slaughter,” Vickie Guerrero comes out with her usual shtick and brings out Dolph Ziggler.

Then, he berates Mick for his bid to win the Rumble match, which was pretty funny (“Hope daddy doesn’t eat our lunch again!”). Mick delivers a great response, by stating, “I don’t want to be in the Rumble to be in it, I want to win it.” 

Dolph refutes this again. Maybe he over-delivered his “go away,” but this incited a response by CM Punk, who got a great ovation from the pumped up Anaheim crowd.

He goes on a pretty funny rant about Dolph being just like every other superstar in the WWE, and then how he is wearing a bright pink shirt and with a “poor excuse for a woman.” 

Then Johnny Ace comes up to break up the party with his lethargic voice. He talks about how unbiased he is going to be as the referee in the Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and then he denies Mick Foley to be in the Rumble Match. 

The opening segment ended with Vickie laughing in Mick’s face, with utter disappointment and anger in his face. 

My Reactions: First of all, Mick does look good even with the limp. Ziggler was really great on the mic, and he seemed to really come off as a natural opponent to CM Punk, and I actually believed his ability to beat him. CM Punk’s refute was good. He does seem a bit watered down, but finally he gets an opening segment, unlike the entire Cena/Kane/Ryder storyline.

So far, boldest statement of the show award goes to Dolph Ziggler for that pink shirt he decided to wear. The Pink Panther would be proud. 

Tag Team Title Rematch

9:20 – The Tag Team titles are on the line. Air Boom (Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston) look to reclaim their titles against the tag team Primo and Epico, who won the Tag Titles at a house show. \

The match opened up with a lot of high flying, and an awesome huracanrana off the top rope by Bourne, which slingshot the champions into each other. 

Kofi comes in and makes some moves. Then, he tags back Evan, who gets nailed by the backstabber. Primo and Epico celebrate with Rosa for the 1-2-3. 

My Reactions: A good, albeit short match. You can definitely tell Kofi and Evan are in the doghouse because of how easily they were buried like that. Rosa is looking absolutely hot. She had more shots on camera than almost the entire match had by itself. 

Also…I still don’t know what the names of the two guys are and exactly how to distinguish them yet. Sorry, the WWE must’ve needed someone to jump in with the titles as soon as possible.

Y2J and Sin City...?

9:24 – In John Laurinaitis’ office, he announces to someone that he will be in a six-man tag team match with both World champions. That someone is Chris Jericho, who smiles, turns off the light, and turns on his Christmas-light foiled jacket. 

My Reactions: Almost positive that Chris will never speak until either the Rumble or right after at this point. So far, his character is really weird. The crowd is definitely hyped up, as they reacted loudly (and mixed). 

9:29 – It’s that time again! Sin City Smackdown! 

My Reaction: Who cares? Doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as Raw Roulette.

Ryder/Swagger + Eve

9:31 – Zack Ryder gets interviewed, with Eve Torres at his side. He says that he is banged up, but he will not give up his title, and he will go up against Jack Swagger regardless of his injuries. Eve decides she will escort him to the ring to be there for him.

We cut to a promo giving us a replay of the Kane/Cena/Ryder feud. Amazing how they made the “tire change” scene seem so well-paced compared to how long and drawn out it was on the live show. 

Swagger comes out with Vickie. They show the CM Punk/Swagger match from last week in a recap, where they say the referee screwed up. Immediate reaction: Bring on Instant Replay, baby (but seriously, who cares?). 

My (Commercial Break) Reaction: How sweet… “Eve and Zack, sitting in a tree”… I still don’t buy it. Sorry, WWE writing staff. They have zero chemistry. 

And why does Swagger deserve to be in this match? I have no clue whatsoever. 

9:40 – Ryder comes out with Eve, clearly in pain. Swagger looks ready to take advantage of the situation. 

Swagger capitalizes on the opening bell, and Zack struggles while the crowd kind of half-heartedly cheers, “Let’s go Ryder, woo, woo, woo.”  Swagger gets angry after Zack breaks a pin, and he continues to pulverize the champ. 

He finally finishes him off and wins the United States Championship. 

My Reactions: Wow, I can’t believe that actually happened. I wonder if Ryder is hurt, or if there will be a rematch at the Rumble? I mean, Swagger kind of popped out of nowhere and wins this belt.

I bet they plan on having a big Vickie breakup between him and Dolph after the Royal Rumble Pay Per View, especially since he has gold and Ziggler won’t.

It just doesn’t make sense to have Ziggler win the belt, with the potential of a Chris Jericho/CM Punk title match at WrestleMania, so Ziggler/Swagger would make sense. 

I do kind of feel bad that Ryder had to drop the belt. I highly doubt it’s permanent, though. It’s not like he’s going to win one of the World Titles in the next six months. I’m sure he’ll go to Smackdown if they are planning on giving him one eventually.

Promos and Divas Galore (So Says Perez)

9:47 – They have a promo for WrestleMania 28, which looks epic. 

Zach is in pain, and Laurinaitis works in and tells him Zach wasn’t medically cleared and he was sorry. Eve tries to jump in and argue, and he replies, “Shut your mouth.” This gets a reaction from the crowd. And that’s how that ends… 

My Reactions: I’m pumped for WrestleMania. I really am. But, why can’t we get a full card for the Royal Rumble first? You can tell they want it to be big, but I want to know why I should even buy the Rumble instead of waiting for WrestleMania. 

As for the Johnny Ace moment… I don’t know. 

9:50 – Perez Hilton comes out to guest announce, and gets a very… negative… reaction. 

The Alicia Fox and Kelly Kelly/Bella Twins match looks very attractive. Same old same old, but Perez pulls out one of the Bellas who tries to pull their switch-a-roo, saying they are “cheating.” 

Kelly gets the roll up for the pinfall. The Bellas try to pick a fight with the whiny Hilton, and then Kelly and Alicia step in. Nothing new, short match as per usual. 

My Reactions: Perez sucks. Quick match. Kelly is loud as usual. 

Please, Vince, let them perform. I really believe they can actually wrestle at least more than two minutes. 

Royal Rumble Preview

9:58 – R-Truth comes out. Right as he’s about to speak, Wade Barrett comes out. He talks about how he will win the Royal Rumble, and how delusional R-Truth is.

Truth replies with a question, “Little Jimmy wants to know, why you talk funny?” 

The crowd “whats” R-Truth, and he goes along with it. He shows a slideshow to Wade about going to Disneyland, which are a bunch of super-imposed photos of him with Mickey, Minnie, and Donald. 

Pinocchio is his last picture, and he says that the character told him Wade would win the Rumble match, which causes his nose to get bigger (And he wonders if that is PG…LOL). 

Right as Truth ends his epic promo, Miz jumps in and Wade and him beat Truth down. Sheamus comes out to help out. They clear the ring. 

Teddy Long comes out to announce a top rope challenge between all four guys (I was sad that it wasn’t his usual TAG TEAM MATCH, but anyway). 

The two pairs of rivals go at it. Miz and Truth battle in one corner, while Sheamus and Wade go at it in the other. Sheamus, Truth, and Miz join forces and take Wade over the top rope. Sheamus and Truth attack Miz, and then Truth attacks Sheamus. Miz jumps in beats up Truth, thinking he launched him over the top rope.

Sheamus and Miz go at it, with Sheamus beating him down badly. As he prepares for his kick finisher, Miz ducks out and lands on the top rope. He manages to regain composure, looking like he’s going to eliminate Miz, and then R-Truth jumps in and eliminates them both. 

Miz gives Truth an evil look, but Sheamus kicks him in the face. 

My Reactions: What a fun match. R-Truth is hilarious and his promo work has been awesome as of late (when he actually does talk). I like these two rivalries right now, as Wade and Sheamus are both talented big men, and Miz and Truth are both really fun competitors to watch. 

All four of these guys deserve a World Title shot. I’d love to see any of them win the Rumble. Will it happen? Probably not, but I’m sure they will keep us interested during the match.

Cena/Swagger

10:10 – John Cena barges into John Laurinaitis’ office. He complains about Ryder’s loss. Laurinaitis tells him that he will face Kane at the Royal Rumble, along with facing Swagger next on Raw. 

My Reactions: Odds on Kane showing up or beating up Ryder? It’s got be 2-1. 

Yeah for throwaway matches! 

10:15 – The Swagger/Cena match is ready to begin.

Cena runs into the ring and begins the assault on Swagger. The bell doesn’t even ring. Cena looks like a man possessed as he punches Swagger outside on the announce table. 

The crowd is WILD tonight. They are loud and mixed on Cena, and it’s really entertaining to hear. 

After throwing Swagger into the stairs, Cena begins to throw Swagger’s head into the lower stairs. Right after a quick break, he holds the top part of the stairs in his hands, looking like he’s about to drop them on Swagger, only to hear the bang and start of Kane’s music. 

Kane tells him that Cena is doing well in embracing the hate, and that he will embrace it come the Royal Rumble. 

My Reaction: I’m surprised Kane didn’t make an actual appearance near the ring, but you can tell Cena is going to the dark side.

While some may not like this story, I am really enjoying this new character wrinkle in Cena. And Kane’s revival has been great. He’s always been an interesting heel and makes for good conflicts.

FUNKASAURUS TIME!!!

10:25 – Brodus Clay, “the Funkasaurus,” comes out. I can’t help but think of him as a mix of Flash Funk and the Godfather. Maybe even Rikishi? 

His intro is long and it even has pyro. 

And, who is his facing? None other than the most intimidating superstar… the most fierce… the most intense… JTG. 

Joy. 

Brodus shakes his butt and lets the burial commence. As he says, “Should I get him?” He throws him across the ring, cross body drops him, and gets the pinfall.

My Reaction: I don’t care. I will not take him seriously and I don’t care to. 

And why is this in the last hour of Raw? Keep the burials either in the first hour or on Smackdown. Please and thanks.

Before the Main Event

10:33 – Raw has a promo hyping up the Daniel Bryan/Big Show heat on Smackdown.

Daniel Bryan comes out with his microphone in hand (which he has gotten really good at lately, especially as a egomaniacal heel). He explains how Big Show is a freak and that he was wrong to hurt his girlfriend, AJ. He says it was intentional and pathetic. 

He then tells Big Show that if he comes to Smackdown, he’ll beat him down. He also hypes up his match with Mark Henry this week on Smackdown and dedicates the match to her and professes his love for her… Sweet, dude. 

My (Pre-Jericho entrance) Reaction: What the hell are “crocodile tears?” 

10:40 –Y2J, Chris Jericho, is back, light up jacket and all! He hams to the camera, slaps hands with the fans, and smiling all over the place. He even takes a picture with a fan’s camera OF the fans. 

My Reaction: I still don’t get it… How did THAT ENTIRE “End of the World” thing equate to THIS GUY? Let’s see how he performs in the ring… if he even wrestles in the match.

Jericho, Punk, Bryan vs. Henry, Otunga, Ziggler

10:44 – Jericho is still slapping hands when we return from commercial break. 

Then, the best in the world, CM Punk, walks out to “Cult of Personality” and a pretty loud reaction. I was looking at Jericho the entire time during the entrance, and he was just smiling like an idiot. He is on the same team as Bryan and Punk, so it seems pretty civil so far. 

Ziggler and Punk start off the match. The crowd chants, “CM Punk!” 

Bryan makes the tag, with some booing his entrance. Bryan botches a move (or did he?) and Ziggler takes him by the leg and tags in David Otunga, and tags Ziggler back in. 

Crowd chants for Y2J. Ziggler continues to go to work on the leg, while Vickie continues to be annoying on the side. Bryan manages to get to the ropes. He avoids another move, and tags in CM Punk, much to my dismay. 

Otunga gets the tag and gets placed in a headlock by Punk. He tags in Dolph… again… and Ziggler kicks CM Punk into oblivion and then delivers a neckbreaker. The crowd is getting antsy, because they want to see Y2J.

Punk recovers and Jericho is looking giddy for a tag (I can’t believe I actually used that word…). Otunga gets back in… again… CM Punk fights Otunga off the top rope and delivers the flying elbow to Otunga. 

Jericho gets the tag. He does a Hogan-esque crowd pleaser for a few moments, and tags in Daniel Bryan, as he walks out of the ringside area and to the back. Time for a commercial break. 

My Reactions (so far): David Otunga was in this match? Really? And how come there wasn’t even a tag to Mark Henry at all?

And don’t get me started on Jericho. I called this. Didn’t even wrestle. But, there is still a commercial break… maybe he’ll pop back in to save the day?

Final Slide: Reaction to the Six-Man Tag Match and Overall Reaction

10:56 – Bryan and Ziggler continue the match. Bryan delivers a sidekick to Ziggler’s face, and tags in CM Punk, who gives a quick flurry to Ziggler. Right as CM Punk goes for the pin, Henry comes in, which instigates Bryan. He slaps him, causing Henry to go after him and beat him into the side area. 

Mick Foley’s entrance comes on, and the crowd doesn’t know what to think. He tells the referee that he is now in the match, per John Laurinaitis. He is on Punk’s team. 

Punk kicks out of a near pinfall by Ziggler. He delivers to neckbreakers to CM Punk, and tries for a pinfall. CM Punk kicks out and then delivers a kick to Ziggler. 

CM Punk tags Foley, who beats in the freshly tagged Otunga. Double-arm DDT to Otunga leads to MR. SOCKO’s epic return! He delivers a mandible claw to Otunga, leading Bryan, CM Punk and Mick Foley to win the match. 

As the party is about to get started, Laurinaitis walks out. He says he was not a legal participant in the match, reversing the decision.

CM Punk looks angry as he rips the microphone out of his hand. He begins to rip into Johnny Ace, telling him that he wants to put his cards on the table, claiming that he is jealous of who CM Punk is, and that he wishes he never made it like his brother who was in the Road Warriors tag team. 

CM Punk delivers an epic promo about how he has achieved more than Laurinaitis has in his entire life. He tells him that if he is going to screw him out of the title as the guest referee in the Royal Rumble WWE Championship Match, he will be remembered as the man who gets destroyed by CM Punk. 

Laurinaitis looks angry as he picks up the microphone with Foley still standing in the ring, and he begins his usual promo, but he says he will not be intimidated by CM Punk. Foley claims that Johnny Ace needs to admit he was going to screw Punk out of the title. 

This instigates the crowd into a “You Suck” chant. Laurinaitis rips off his top button. He says he will screw CM Punk, and that he is angry at being disrespected and bullied. He isn’t going to take it anymore. He then hits Mick over the head with the microphone, and walks out of the ring. 

My Reaction: Well, anyone who didn’t see the ending happening with Mick taking over in the match is really naïve. But, it was good to see CM Punk deliver one of his pipe bomb promos again. It was a sharp ending.

It was almost A Few Good Men-like, with Laurinaitis taking over as Jack Nicholson’s character. Seeing Mick get hit was a bit disheartening, but at least he got the chance to perform. It was rough to watch, though, since he was a bit slow and banged up. 

Finally though, CM Punk got a chance to shine in the last match, Ziggler really showed off his skill, and Bryan and Jericho got even more heat generated for their future runs on their respective shows. 

Overall, it was a fun show. Maybe not the most creative, but it was pretty tightly constructed and they are definitely building up to what will be one of the most entertaining Royal Rumble matches in history.