NFL Playoff Schedule 2012: Ranking Wild Card Weekend's Most Exciting Games

If you like boring football games marred by shoddy quarterback play, then the AFC has you covered this weekend, my friends.

But if you are a fan of high-scoring, down-to-the-wire shootouts with excellent quarterback play and a distinct lack of defense, well, you'll want to check out the NFL matchups this weekend.

Let's rank this weekend's most exciting games.

4. Tune Out Tebow

Date and Time: Sunday, Jan. 8 (4:30 p.m. EST on CBS)

Analysis: The Steelers have the top-rated pass defense in the NFL this season.

Tim Tebow has a worse delivery than a DiGiorno ad.

So the Broncos will just run the ball, right? I don't think so. The Steelers are already eighth against the run this year, and they'll jam the box and dare Tebow and the Broncos to beat them through the air.

They won't. The best the Broncos will do is one field goal.

Final Thought: This game will Teblow.

3. Yates Liberates Bengals Defense To Stuff The Run

Date and Time: Saturday, Jan. 7 (4:30 p.m. EST on NBC)

Analysis: In a game pitting the NFL's second- (Texans) and seventh-ranked defenses (Bengals), the game will come down to a battle of quarterbacks. Will rookie Andy Dalton make enough plays to lead the Bengals to a close win?

Or will the man who started the season third on the depth chart at quarterback, T.J. Yates, do enough to lead the Texans past the Bengals?

I believe Yates will struggle, and the Bengals will focus their efforts on containing Arian Foster and the running game. In a low-scoring affair that will be boring for anyone who doesn't enjoy defense, Dalton and the Bengals will advance.

Final Thought: Arian Foster will write a poem lamenting the loss after the game.

"

The skies finally opened, and our team took flight.

Racing past horses that once gave us fright.

Yet quickly our fortunes were cast into plight,

And Yates failed to guide us through the bleakest of night.

"

That's beautiful, Arian.

2. Matty Ice and Julio Down By The End Zone

Date and Time: Sunday, Jan. 8 (1 p.m. EST on FOX)

Analysis: Neither one of these teams play a whole lot of defense, and Eli Manning and Matt Ryan each put up excellent numbers this season.

And with talented receivers on each side such as Roddy White, Julio Jones, Tony Gonzalez, Hakeem Nicks and Victor "Salsa" Cruz, we might see 700 yards passing in this contest.

Final Thought: Feel free to sing along.

1. The Mardi Gras of NFL Shootouts

Date and Time: Saturday, Jan. 7 (8 p.m. EST on NBC)

Analysis: The Detroit Lions finished fourth in both points (29.6) and passing yards per game (300.9) this season. The Saints finished second in points (34.2) and first in total yards per game (467.1) this season. 

Drew Brees and Matt Stafford each passed for over 5,000 yards this season. Neither team plays very good defense. Calvin Johnson will likely do something to amaze you at some point during the game.

The two teams played each other this season (New Orleans beat the Lions 31-17 in Week 13), and the Lions will be extra-juiced to enact their revenge. They won't, but not before they unleash a flurry of passes and touchdowns upon the Saints.

Final Thought:

If you aren't excited about watching this game, you are probably a robot programmed to act like a troll in order to diminish the joy of others.

Get out of here, robot troll.

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