WWE Random Thoughts: Cena, Punk, Daniel Bryan and the Return of Y2J

So, how was everyone's night?

Did you enjoy yourself after watching one of the most hyped WWE events in recent memory, or did you feel like you were mocked and laughed at, behind closed doors, by those in WWE creative? Were you disappointed? Do you need a hug?

Were you excited? Overjoyed to see the return of one of the greatest pure athletes, performers and showmen of our generation? Did you feel the excitement and the heart-pounding tension of the moment? Excitement so palpable that my television started to shake, the walls around me quivered and the sounds of sirens could be heard off in the distance. Could you feel the end of the world?  

My friend: the only thing that "began" on Jan. 2, 2012 was another year of (expletive deleted) from the WWE. Oh, and the reason why the television set was shaking was because someone, somewhere got this fantastic idea to add cheesy camera effects to completely take me out of the moment. If I was sitting next to someone and they said "oh wow, I like how they made it look like an earthquake"...I would punch them directly in the face.

Do you feel like this? Do you feel cheated? Are you excited to see where the return of Chris Jericho leads us? Did Raw, and the WWE in general, once again let you down? Have we created a landscape of such hype, excitement, frenzied predictions and wild-eyed statements that no matter who showed up or what they did, it would still inevitably lead to all of us being let down in some shape or form?

Upon further review of last night's not so shocking, but definitely fun return of Chris Jericho, I have come to this conclusion:

I'm left wanting more, and that's the only thing the WWE needed to accomplish in this certain situation. Who's the girl in the videos? Are there more returns and the WWE got the obvious out of the way? What's Jericho's story arc for now until his inevitable clash with Punk?  Who green lit the idea of the cheesy camera effects? I need/want these to be answered.

Side note: In all seriousness, but not really, why does the WWE continue to constantly treat its audience like we're all in elementary school? Was the need to build up the "end of the world" so great that the effects were an absolute necessity? If you're going to go this route, you might as well go all out. Why not be a little more creative and have part of the staging collapse, some fire shoot from the ring (oh wait, never mind) or at least black out the television feed and pretend (through audio only) like something was happening in the arena. I'm obviously more upset with the production than the actual return. The return was great.  

I liked Chris Jericho's return last night for the following three reasons:

1. If you can get people to love you one moment and despise you without saying a word except "alright, yea!" in under 10 minutes while maintaining a smile, then you have my applause. 

2. His jacket reminded me that I really need to get around to purchasing one of those bad boys to wear to the club. Because I'm assuming that ladies are attracted to that like flies are to a bug zapper. Not to mention the fact that wearing that out would be legen...wait for it...dary.

3. Here on the Internet, there is a lot of trolling about the WWE and anything it does. Trolling is a term that comes from someone who's intended to get a reaction out of somebody or a group of people by blatantly attempting to be a contrarian on all subject matters whether they believe them or not. They will go out of their way to illicit a negative reaction by preying on people's stupidity, joy and anger.

For the record, the WWE finally exacted some revenge by trolling on us. Chris Jericho made trolling an art form by methodically trolling the crap out of everyone. If I was in attendance, I would have been booing the moment he starting running around the ring acting like a fool pretending to soak up the joy he was bringing to those in attendance. It did what it was suppose to, and it worked like a charm.

Chris Jericho hates you for being a fan of an industry that sells a product, a family-friendly theme and a champion that he no longer believes in. He knows you will cheer any returning star from an era that no longer exists, and he played the crowd like a fiddle to his amusement. The perfect heel character has finally arrived.    

4. While this might sound spiteful, immature and self absorbing I honestly enjoyed last night's segment for the sole purpose that I knew others were hating every moment of it. We all love (it's OK to admit it) to read articles on other people's displeasure with the WWE product. It's human nature to be disappointed, want to vent and for others (who don't agree with you) to laugh at your anger over something as dumb as professional wrestling.

My Girlfriend: People tend to take wrestling a lot more seriously than I thought. It's wrestling for god's sake. It's not like it has any lasting effects on the real world or with real people.

Me: Kind of like Kim Kardashian getting divorced. Real people got hurt over that.

My Girlfriend: Exactly! 

I thoroughly enjoyed last night, and the only thing I'm taking away from it is more intrigue and excitement that Chris Jericho will be wrestling in the near future. Was it genius? Well, no, but was it different and effective? Yes.

But really, how awkward was that return?

And now for some really random thoughts...

Random Thought No. 1 

In case anyone wanted to know, I was secretly praying for the return of Shane McMahon to reignite this conspiracy angle that's been slowly getting freezer burn while it chills out. 

This, of course, is still a viable option because Johnny Ace was last seen still texting god only knows who. If it's Kevin Nash or anyone else from this thing apparently called "the Kliq," then I'm officially done watching wrestling for at least a month...OK, maybe a week, but still!

Random Thought No. 2 

The "Kliq" is the name of a retirement home, right? No? Then what the hell is everyone always talking about?

Random Thought No. 3

If I was writing the script for the WWE, I would do the following:

1. Have Alberto Del Rio befriend Mexican American, oh sorry, Hunico and Primo. He could use them as henchmen along with Ricardo Rodriguez and the Bellas becoming a Godfather-like villain propelling himself to another WWE championship reign.

2. I would instantly make Booker T the general manager of Smackdown. I would write off Teddy Long, but having Aksana be a secret spy working for the CIA who discovers that Teddy is plotting terrorist activities in Libya. Teddy in a desperate act of survival attempts to kill Aksana only to be... you know what, never mind on this one.

3. I would schedule CM Punk and Daniel Bryan in an Ironman match at least once a year.

4. I would completely overhaul the divas division by gutting the roster, setting their outfits and music on fire and actually finding women who had some semblance of skill and passion to be in a business many dream of being a part of. Somewhere out there, there is an abundance of untapped potential that is being wasted on models whose only job is to promote the product, look fake and attractive and showcase that it is in fact that hard to act.

Random Thought No. 4

Daniel Bryan as champion has completely re-immersed my interest in Smackdown. That, along with the growing feud between Cody Rhodes, his brother and Booker T has added some nice depth to a show that seemed a little lost without Christian. The show has finally settled into a nice groove of storytelling. 

The segments involving Rhodes and Booker have been incredible and showcase the kind of power the WWE possess when it chooses to flex its creative muscle. The insertion of Cody's brother, Goldust, has only added another layer to an already excellent feud. I actually believe that Booker T can become Intercontinental champion.

As for the World Heavyweight scene, I am anxiously awaiting for the glorious chokeslam that is bound to take place between the Big Show and Daniel Bryan. Bryan has become annoying, and I look forward to him being put in his place.

However, I really don't want to see Big Show as champion, so I'm a bit torn on this. Bryan is the future, and it's a nice change of pace to see the WWE actually invest in the future, but he's become increasingly annoying.

Here's hoping that Chris Jericho beats CM Punk for the WWE title and then beats whoever for the Heavyweight title, and then leaves the company with both. All without saying a word of course. 

Random Thought No. 5

I'm officially (whether I have this power or not) putting a stop to the comparisons between Stone Cold and CM Punk. They are nothing alike. Sure, they both have the same character (the anti-hero, anti-establishment guys), but that's the only thing. Different on the mics, one drinks, one doesn't, different move sets, ring psychology, personalities and not to mention that its impossible to replicate the Austin character in the PG era. 

IWC: But guy! Punk was wearing a Stone Cold t-shirt when he did his infamous "shoot" promo. He's fighting the WWE system just like Austin did! They want you to compare the similarities between them. We're seeing the incarnation of a new Austin! We're finally getting the "Attitude Era" back!

Me: Congratulations, you've finally realized that the WWE rehashes characters, plots and themes all the time. Austin was Austin and Punk is Punk, but besides the similarities in story arc, they are nothing alike. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to follow your logic and throw on my Alex Rodriguez jersey and see if Torie Wilson can tell the difference between us. Here's hoping she doesn't'! 

Random Thought No. 6

Since CM Punk said the dreaded B-word on WWE programming, does that mean I can start using said word in WWE-related Bleacher Report articles? Because it's only fair.

Random Thought No. 7

This whole Cena/Kane feud is actually really engrossing...for now. Everyone wanted a Cena heel turn, and at least the WWE has the common curtsey to at least flirt with and tease the idea. It also beats the hell out of Cena beating random jobbers til March rolls around and the Rock returns. 

Side Note: Speaking of the Rock, have we all finally come to the fact that when the Rock said "I'm never going away," what he really meant was "I'm going to be involved in the WWE again, but on my time."

For those that continue to be upset with the fact the Rock is only pulling extreme part-time duty is like being upset when a Victoria Secret model wants to occasionally hang out with you in between her real job and only during downtime in her life.

Cena's quest towards WrestleMania is an epic undertaking for the WWE. We've seen Foley, Piper and now Kane try and persuade Cena to choose a side for his upcoming encounter with the Rock. It's a story arc that requires patience, as well as an understanding that the WWE has never really tried to play around with the lines that separate true face from true heel before.

The story is unique. The story is deep. And if anything, the story literally leaves us with images of a man, Cena, who has become engulfed in a world of flames and hate. Cena has been shown what the dark side and Hell looks like, and his story of believing in his faith and his faithful nation of fans is something that should be enjoyed rather then dissected.

If you thought the WWE was just going to turn Cena heel on a dime without at least trying to tell an impassioned story about his inner fight with himself, then you need to give the WWE a little more credit then you do. We all wanted better storytelling, wrestling, Chris Jericho and an attempt to invest in the future.

We have it all, and if it's honestly not good enough for you, then I say apply to WWE and change the product the best way you can. And if, like so many others, you don't make it into the WWE creative industry, then it's best to sit back, relax and enjoy this wonderful escape known as the WWE.

I leave you with an impassioned monologue from my friend:

My Friend (wearing his red John Cena shirt): John Cena is the man. He doesn't care about what those who don't like him think about him. He's experiencing what we all go through in life as humans: the need to be universally accepted by all.

He's realized that there are numerous people who hate him, but instead of changing to appeal to them, he has elected to remain strong in his beliefs and handle this situation with complete class. I'm going to follow in the footsteps of John Cena and remain true to myself, my virtues and beliefs. I will not allow myself to be swayed, changed or judged by those who do not like me. 

And while John Cena continues to rise about the challenges set forth in front of him by others, as well as hate, I am going to now rise above this large meat lover's calzone.