FC Barcelona Transfer Rumors: 5 Ridiculous Transfers That Will Not Happen

With the dominant position that FC Barcelona occupies in world football, it is only natural that some of the best players in the world will be linked to them. Rumor mills cite all sorts of "exclusive" sources to justify the players that are linked to a club, and Barcelona's case is no different.

Some of the transfer rumors surrounding Barcelona make a fair amount of sense. There are some rumors, however, that absolutely refuse to consider reality at all.

Here, we have brought you the five most ridiculous transfers that Barcelona has been linked to in recent times. 

Wojciech Szczęsny

Make no mistake, Arsenal's 21-year-old first-choice goalkeeper is a fantastic player. Linking him to Barcelona, however, is more than a little ridiculous.

The rumor mills went into overdrive in October 2011 when Szczęsny, perhaps in jest, perhaps in wistfulness, said that he might leave Arsenal for Barcelona. He was quoted as saying, "I can't declare that I will spend my entire career here, but if I leave I will have a very important reason or I will go to Barcelona."

However, just one day later, he moved to deny the rumors via Twitter.

Why this move won't happen

Barcelona do not need a goalkeeper. Victor Valdes is going to remain first-choice keeper barring any unforeseen circumstances like a long-term injury or sudden drop of form. In this scenario, the only possible space for Szczęsny is as a second-choice keeper, a role which might be vacated this summer by Jose Manuel Pinto, but which is probably not a role an upcoming player like Szczęsny will ever want.

Szczęsny himself has professed loyalty to Arsenal. His girlfriend Sandra Dziwiszek was quoted as saying that Szczęsny has expressed a desire to stay at Arsenal for 15 years. 

Taking all this into account, it is very unlikely that this rumor will ever translate into a Barcelona move.

Gareth Bale

One of the most persistent rumors in footballing circles has to be Gareth Bale's impending Barcelona move. Indeed, if the Daily Mail is to be believed, Bale tops Barcelona's manager Pep Guardiola's three-man shortlist for the summer of 2012.

The Daily Mail even went so far as to claim that Barcelona scouted Bale towards the end of November 2011, and that Guardiola is a huge admirer of the Welshman.

Why this move won't happen

The primary reason for this move just not going through is that Bale simply does not fit into Barcelona's system. With Dani Alves parading the right wing in most matches, Barcelona requires a more defensive left-wing back, whom they have in the shape of Eric Abidal. Bale, by contrast, is a more attacking player, as evidenced by his frequent deployment on the left side of the midfield by Spurs manager Harry Redknapp.

Bale's price has also been inflated to stratospheric levels. The amount touted is in the range of £45 million, which is simply too high.

Finally, no member of Barcelona's technical staff has ever gone on record and affirmed the club's interest in Bale. 

Gary Cahill

It is probably no coincidence that every player on this list plays in England. The English media has its own way of hyping up its players. Another interesting tidbit to come from England is this little rumor linking Bolton's Gary Cahill to Barcelona.

Why this move won't happen

Gary Cahill is not suited for the high defensive line that Barcelona frequently employs. He also lacks the technicality and the dribbling ability required for a defender that Barcelona needs. As past moves for players like Henrique and Martin Caceres have shown, defenders who play in Guardiola's tactical setup need special attributes that are rare to find. 

The touted price of £8 million is probably an interesting one in the current transfer scenario. However, if Barcelona really go after a defender, they will probably look at AC Milan's Thiago Silva, who has elicited some genuine interest from the technical staff.

Robin Van Persie

The Guardian reported Barcelona's rumored interest in Arsenal's Robin van Persie, who has displayed some of the best football in Europe this season. While van Persie is an absolutely fantastic player, this move will not happen in the foreseeable future.

Why this move won't happen

The spike in van-Persie-to-Barcelona rumors occurred right around the time David Villa suffered his injury against Al Sadd in the Club World Cup semifinal. Important as Villa is, and hard though his absence will be, a reflexive move for Arsenal's current captain is not something Barcelona's economically shrewd president Sandro Rosell is likely to do.

Van Persie's price is one of the most damning factors against his possible move to Barcelona. His potential salary demands are likely to be extremely difficult to fulfill as well in Barcelona's slightly delicate financial situation.

Finally, van Persie is a much-loved figure among Arsenal fans and is the club's captain. He will probably not want to relinquish such an important role at a club where he is having the season of his life. 

Fernando Torres

The extent of the absurdity of transfer rumors that do the rounds of cyberspace is resplendent in its glory by this rumor linking Chelsea's Fernando Torres to Barcelona. This time, it is the Catalan paper El Mundo Deportivo with the absurd claim that Barcelona will exchange three bright youngsters—Martin Montoya, Sergi Roberto and Isaac Cuenca—for the misfiring Spaniard.

Why this move won't happen

Three of the best La Masia prospects for one of the most misfiring strikers in the world? If the news of this "deal" is true, the only possible conclusion is that the entire Barcelona coaching staff has suddenly decided to go crazy.

Fortunately, the more plausible explanation is that El Mundo Deportivo just wanted to make a splash by printing something so ridiculous that it would be read just for shock value.

Torres is simply not needed at Barcelona. He would be too expensive, he would be hard to fit into the lineup and he has lost the spark that made him one of the world's best players just a few seasons ago.

If this move does go through, it would be conclusive proof that the footballing world has lost all reason.