The 2008 ASAS (PG 13 Version): Part 4

(continued Coverage of the First Annual Assholes in Sports Award Show)

Travis Johnson

So the first thing you're thinking is, who the hell is Travis Johnson, and I have so cleverly omitted his picture because outside of this one transgression, Travis Johnson was your regular, unheard of defensive lineman. It's only fitting that you get introduced to him the way many of us did:

Sports is all about cheapshots, brushbacks, questionable hand lingering, choice words, and fist fights. It is the intangibles which separates us from Tennis. And with all seriousness who in this world hasn't cheered for a big hit while watching a game live, and then once you realized the guy laying on the field is hurt, your whole perspective on the situation changed just as quickly.

Now in the case of Travis Johnson he simply underestimated just how much damage someone cheapshotting him ten seconds prior could actually do to the person.  Johnson was just doing what any 300 pound lineman would do in that situation after being chop blocked blindly in the leg by Green and retaliated with the equivalent of:


"Karma's a bitch, ain't it Trent Green."

Now unfortunately for Mr. Johnson it turned out that Green after being carted off as if he been shot nine times in the leg. He was asked for his words on the Trent Green block, and of course said what everyone was thinking.

In this world of Political Correctness griping out a Quarterback is grounds for public enemy #1. Maybe it just landed him #1 on our list.



Shaquille O'Neal

I really feel bad for Shaquille O'Neal. He's like one of those people who lacks the tolerance to just shut up and be a basketball player. For as long as Shaq has been in the league he has tried to push his acting career (remember those agonizingly priceless one liners in Kazaam? Me too!) But it was always the rap career, that never got off the ground, that seemed to plague Shaq and constantly lead him to public ridicule. This time is no different.

Can anyone remember when Shaq and Kobe Bryant actually liked each other? These two guys argued and sent messages across ESPN off and on from 2005 - 2007, and just when you thought it was over. You figured they could tolerate each other after the quick one second (and we're not saying Mississippi) "made for TV man hug".

 And Just when you could have sworn Shaquille had moved on from his relationship with Kobe Bryant, and put all his efforts into his divorce. Kobe Bryant loses embarrassingly in the NBA Finals to the Celtics, and guess who's suddenly "caught" on tape singing about him?


Shaq's public diss of Kobe sold no records, but it sure landed Shaq in a fire of public scrutiny for it's unfavorable language and derogatory remarks. Calling Bryant a cheater, is ok, swearing however is a no-no. It's all wrong in the end but we're being selective it seems.

All I ask is: Are we serious?

Maybe we should ask was Shaq's freestyle serious. With gems such as

"Kobe you can't do without me"

"I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced."

Shaq easily could be our #1 on the grounds of being so bitter that his life revolves not on winning championships, but winning vague personal battles between another man. For the time being we leave you with Kobe's retaliation to the diss:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PDSuhyfY28
Video not endorsed by Kobe Bryant but pure genius




And so we leave with another five to go as you see the list is already stacked but there is still five remaining people each wanting to have their say.

We will pick this one up Wednesday with the final five and the ultimate #1. Until next time... Peace

- Doc Holland writes articles weekly in a jail cell