The NHL's 'Little Ball of Hate' Who Loves to Kiss His Enemies

"It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss. It was only a kiss." — The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"

On Monday night, the Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Boston Bruins to tie the Eastern Conference Semifinals series at a game apiece and set the table for some serious drama. But don't let that distract you from the most bizarre story happening in sports right now. In the opening round of the playoffs, Bruins left wing Brad Marchand was caught licking an opponent (one he'd previously kissed on the cheek during a game), and NHL officials aren't sure whether they've asked him to keep his mouth to himself.

More on that in a moment. First, let's discuss who Brad Marchand is—and what makes him lick.

Born outside Halifax, Nova Scotia, Marchand remembers being handed a hockey stick at the age of three. But in Canada, an early start isn't much of an advantage. One of Marchand's youth coaches used to remind his roster of 12-year-olds that they each had less than a one percent chance of eventually playing pro hockey. When he looked around that locker room, Marchand realized he wasn't even the most talented player that youth team. At 5'9" and 180 pounds, he needed to find another way to stand out to scouts.

"Maybe it was my size, or just the way I was born, but I've always felt like you have to be willing to do anything—literally anything—in order to win," he wrote in a recent essay for The Players' Tribune. "Even if that means being hated. Even if it means carrying around some baggage. If I played the game any other way, you absolutely would not know my name. You wouldn't care enough to hate me, because I wouldn't be in the NHL."

Marchand has earned a reputation as a pest—and worse. He was called up for his first full season in 2010-11, a year that ended with his Bruins hoisting the Stanley Cup. And even then, Marchand's status as an elfin enforcer was so cemented that when the Bruins visited the White House, President Obama called him "a little ball of hate."

In his eight full seasons, Marchand has scored 226 goals and offered up 233 assists. But he has been better known for the different kinds of licks that he delivers. He's amassed six suspensions and cost himself hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines and surrendered game checks. He's been penalized for elbowing, slew-footing, clipping, slamming his stick in an opponent's face and spearing a player down south.

The NHL has held him out of a total of 19 games, and opinions about him range from "pesky opponent" to "serious threat to player safety."

Although there have been plenty of stories about Marchand's maturation over the past many years, he has been vocal about his desire to continue playing aggressively. Before a November matchup with the Maple Leafs, Marchand, unprompted, told a group of reporters that he lamented a lack of trash talk in the league.

"I'm trying to get away from the s--t a little bit, and I can't afford to get suspended," he said. "There used to be guys on every team that would get involved in that, but no one does. You can't do it, because the second you say anything, the refs are in your face."

So instead of talking, he attempted another oral approach: During a game in November, he got close to the Maple Leafs' Leo Komarov and planted a peck on his cheek.

Asked about it afterward, Komarov told reporters, "I kind of liked it."

Message received. When the Bruins faced the Maple Leafs again in Game 1 of the first round of the playoffs, Marchand and Komarov got tied up again, and this time, the Bruin went for a bit more of a nuzzle.

"I thought he wanted to cuddle," Marchand told reporters after the game. "I just wanted to get close to him. … He keeps trying to get close to me. I don't know if he's got a thing for me or what. He's cute."

An exhaustive—and entirely serious—B/R investigation discovered that this was at least the fifth frozen kiss that Marchand has been involved with as a player.

In December 2013, he pretended to kiss his championship ring in a game against the Vancouver Canucks. In April 2014, he told reporters he kissed teammate Jarome Iginla after Iginla scored an overtime goal and bailed Marchand out from some bad misses late in regulation.

In March 2015, he kissed teammate Max Talbot after an assist. "I just said to him, 'I could kiss you right now.' His visor was in the way," Marchand told reporters. "I'll try anything once."

And in February 2016, he went in for a kiss on the Ducks' Patrick Eaves but was foiled again by the same old foe—the visor.

After the playoff peck, ESPN.com's Greg Wyshynski reported that the NHL, through series supervisor of officials Mick McGeough, had asked Marchand to quit kissing players. But when other news outlets picked up the piece, Marchand responded twice on Twitter that the story was false.

On April 27, NHL Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly attempted to clarify the situation by telling Kevin Allen of USA Today that the NHL hadn't been involved.

"No, we did not contact the Bruins or Brad Marchand regarding this incident," he said. "It's just not true."

So far in the series against the Lightning, Marchand has managed to avoid any further smooches, but he did come uncomfortably close to Tampa Bay's Tyler Johnson in Game 1.

The semifinals continue Wednesday night in Boston, and you should really watch. Between the whistles, the hockey will be fantastic. And you wouldn't want to miss any of the action, either.