Dear Barry Bonds, Please Just Go Away

Author's note: The following editorial will be given in the style of a Keith Olbermann special comment.

This day, Jan. 1, 2009, will be remembered by baseball fans for the launch of the MLB Network. Like all cable news and sports channels, tickers will be used to keep viewers up to date on the latest stories of interest.

Here was the first-ever story to come across the MLB Network's ticker: Barry Bonds has just had hip surgery with the intention of returning to baseball in 2009.

(Cut to camera B)

My take on this? Barry, you need to go away and never return to the game you so very much disgraced. The reasons are clearly there.

Even if you didn't take steroids, and it's been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that you bought and used them, your age and health alone would make any team unlikely to even spark interest in you. 

For example, you've just come off hip surgery and a source familiar with the story has said that you won't be 100 percent ready until Opening Day at the earliest. That makes it even more difficult for a legitimate shot at even a designated hitter spot in the American League. 

Also, are you sure you still want to play? You're 44 years old. Even if you do return, having taken a full year off, your offensive numbers will be nowhere near what they once were. Regardless of whether a player has ever juiced up, there's no arguing that a 44-year-old ballplayer may have a respectable batting average, but power numbers leave something to be desired.

(Cut to camera C)

There are the legal issues. In November 2007, you were indicted on charges of perjury that you committed when you testified in front of a grand jury in 2003 regarding your BALCO ties. Your trial is set to begin on March 2, which would be during Spring Training.

Let's be clear on that. This is a trial, not like the Congressional hearing in March 2005, which only lasted one day. How can you go to trial while at the same time try to make a Major League roster you have a long shot of making anyway?

True that every club has players involved with legal issues, but yours blow any DUI out of the water.

(Cut to camera B)

There's the sentiment around baseball felt by players, managers, GMs, owners, and fans alike that you are perhaps the biggest clubhouse cancer in the history of the game. A player with a "me-first" attitude is not what any team needs or wants to have. 

A player who was jealous of all the attention Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa received during the '98 home-run chase to the point where he felt the only way to keep up was to resort to the same tactics those two acted on. 

A player who is just an all-around arrogant jerk whose sometimes dangerous actions have been recorded time and again. Imagine that issue rising with whatever team that may sign you in the thick of a pennant race.

Any club with an already fragile clubhouse chemistry that signs you just might be the breaking point for said club. I can only imagine the consequences and moves that might be made to rebuild it.

(Cut to camera A)

Finally, your mere presence on any team would just give said team a bad name. Heck, you still playing anywhere would be a black eye for the game of baseball. I have heard fans say that if you signed with their favorite team, they would stop attending games, cancel their season tickets, etc. 

Additionally, TV and radio ratings would probably also go down. Such actions would put a team in some sort of financial turmoil and result in God knows what. Really, what owners want that for their team? Personally, I don't want you anywhere near my White Sox. I love baseball, but I don't want to give up my favorite team.

(Cut to camera C)

Outside of San Francisco, where they still treat you as if you were the Bambino himself, I don't see a place for you anywhere. I can't think of many teams who would want to have you.

I'm sure most fans don't want to hear from you ever again. You cheated your way to the top of the two most revered home-run lists. In my book, Hank Aaron is still the all-time champion. I could go on about who the true single-season champion is, but that's another argument.

ESPN and San Francisco can make you seem like Babe Ruth all they want, but in the end, you're nothing but a liar, a cheater, and a poor clubhouse presence. That's why a Major League team cannot and should not sign you ever again.

Good night, and good luck.