Super Bowl Matchups No One Wants to See

Here are some games that might be frowned on by the network television people that hope for good ratings! Have some fun with these, because this season, as you all know, anything can happen.

Pittsburgh scores 18 points in two playoff games and advances to the Super Bowl where they will play an un inspired Minnesota Vikings team, planning on losing another Super Bowl. Final score Pittsburgh 6, Minnesota 3.

San Diego rolls through the AFC playoffs and makes it to the Super Bowl from an 8-8 season. Arizona buys some iron supplements and Geritol for Kurt Warner and he gets hot for three games and takes the 9-7  Cardinals all the way. Final score in this Super Bowl San Diego 70 Arizona 65.

The Miami Dolphins and Chad Pennington manage every playoff game perfectly, with Pennington throwing for two touchdowns in each game, and 147 yards. Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams carry the ball 78 times each and the Dolphins go to the Super Bowl. They meet the  Atlanta Falcons who are just excited to be there.

The game is in Florida, so no one except people in Georgia and Florida cares. At halftime, two pet pit bulls belonging to Bruce Springsteen get loose and chew Joey Porter's nuts off. That s pretty much the highlight of the afternoon as the Falcons win 28-26 with a field goal in the last four seconds.

Tennessee Titans continue to win despite Kerry Collins effort to put us to sleep game after game. Vince Young runs away from the game in the first quarter and no one can find him, Kerry Collins gets hurt and they go to a wild cat offense with no quarterback.They are playing Philadelphia who made it through the playoffs by throwing the ball 87 percent of the time.

Brian Westbrook demands to play defense and breaks up a couple of plays of Tennessee  and Philadelphia ties the game late. Donovan Mcnabb leaves thinking the game is over. Vince Young is found at a friends house by his mom. He grabs a cab back to the stadium, and wins the game in overtime, while McNabb is having a beer at a strip joint in Ybor City. Tennessee 26 Philadelphia 20.

The New York Giants play well through the playoffs and make it back to the Super Bowl. Everyone is great except for their starting middle linebacker, who remembers too late, he put that pistol in his helmet and accidentally shoots himself in the head, putting his helmet on. The bullet passes harmlessly through his head, exiting into Eli Mannings arm. The backup has to play.

They are playing the Baltimore Ravens. Four of their players are arrested for attempted murder the night before the game. With the defense depleted, the Giants win anyway, andEli Manning gets traded to Detroit.

The  San Diego Chargers make it to the Super Bowl again, finally.There they meet the Minnesota Vikings, who of course lose another Super Bowl. L.T. and Sproles rush for 460 yards and sets a new Super Bowl record, because the Williams boys on the Minnesota defense are bloated from water weight and can t move very quickly.

And finally the Carolina Panthers cruise through the playoffs and upset New York to make it to the Super Bowl. They lose Steve Smith who punched one of the Carolina coaches in the mouth. They play the Dolphins who make it through the playoffs with no turnovers. Ricky Williams fumbles six times in the game, and Carolina wins.

Williams complains he got some bunk weed and wasn't really into it. Williams is traded to Detroit. Bill Parcells moves back to Dallas and takes over the Cowboys,  where the first thing he does is file a restraining order keeping Jerry Jones away from the team.

There are a million stories in the big city. These are but a few!  Hope your teams get lucky and makes it to Tampa.