Bill Cowher Comes Out of Retirement, Will Coach Two NFL Teams in 2009 (Humor)

Acknowledging the extraordinarily high-demand for his services, famed head coach Bill Cowher has officially announced his decision to come out of retirement and "save" two lucky NFL teams.

In a statement released to the press early Monday morning, Cowher responded to the speculation surrounding his future as a coach, and the questions regarding his love for the game since becoming an NFL analyst for CBS.

"I have decided to return to coaching in 2009, but refuse to limit myself to one team. I will be interviewing owners, general managers, and team captains this week to discover which organization will be the best fit for me," wrote Cowher.

"I understand that my decision will cause confusion," continued Cowher. "I hope everyone will understand that a man of my caliber cannot be limited to being the savior of just one team."

Bill Cowher held a conference call with reporters this morning to elaborate on his intentions to coach two teams. When asked why he wants to undertake such a daunting task, Cowher responded with a question of his own.

"Did Jesus stop at healing one man? When you know you can do something, you do it for the maximum good...For me that means improving the identities for two needy teams."

Cowher refused to admit how he would actually manage to coach two teams fulltime. The task of coaching an NFL team is an arduous one. The schedule is strenuous, and there were legitimate questions as to how Cowher would handle potential conflicts.

"What happens if your two teams face one another in the playoffs?" asked one reporter.

That’s when things took a turn for the worse as Cowher’s chin began to cause interference with the microphone reception.

"You think I haven’t figured that out? Listen, it’s my job to do, and it’s yours to try and analyze how."

Cowher refused to confirm which clubs he'd be meeting with as many of them haven't even been implied that they plan to move in a different direction in 2009. 

However, Cowher did admit that some of the teams he will be interviewing this week are some of the more obvious ones.

When asked specifically about the Kansas City Chiefs and Cleveland Browns, Cowher responded, "It would be nice to bring my career full circle, huh? How good of a story would that be?"

Angel Navedo covers the Jets-Examiner" target="_blank">New York Jets for Examiner.com. His work can also be found on NYJetsFan.com, where he is the Head Writer, and on MyGridironSpace.com—a premier social networking site built exclusively for NFL fans.

He is also a Senior Writer at the Bleacher Report, where he is one of the New York Jets Community Leaders.