The 25 Dumbest Decisions Ever Made in MMA

There are a lot of really intelligent people in MMA.

And then there are these guys.

I kid, I kid. It's inevitable that even the most intelligent person will occasionally make a dumb decision. That inevitability is exacerbated when your line of work involves beating up coworkers. Again, this isn't to say there aren't plenty of smart fighters out there. But you know what? There are a lot of dumb ones too. That's the reality.

When you throw in the dumb decisions of generally competent people, well, you've got a pretty deep pool to explore.

Here are my top 25 dumbest decisions, submitted for your consideration.

25. Paul Kelly Cheap-Shots Donald Cerrone

Kelly probably thought he was being really slick and clever when he used the glove touch at the start of this fight to get in a free shot on the Cowboy. A few minutes later, he was probably rethinking. That was around the time Cerrone was choking him out. With prejudice.

24. Guy Mezger Takes a Scolding, Forfeit Loss

Long story short: In the opening round of Pride's 2000 Grand Prix, Mezger fought the great Kazushi Sakuraba. But beforehand, he had signed a contract that the fight would only last for one 15-minute round. No overtime. Remember that.

Fast-forward. At the end of the fight, the judges call for an overtime. Mezger cornerman Ken Shamrock—maybe you've heard of him—flips his lid and literally orders Mezger back to the locker room. The fight ultimately is awarded to Sakuraba. Pride hastily calls a meeting to apologize and offer flower bouquets and so on, but it doesn't smooth things over. Everyone leaves with egg on their face.

The fight contract, the reactions, the outcome and the aftermath—just a bunch of dumb decision-making all the way around.

23. Rousimar Palhares Prematurely Celebrates

Maybe one of the funniest things to ever happen during a live fight. "The Tree Stump" thought he had defeated Dan Miller at UFC 134 and made with the merrymaking. Luckily for Palhares, he got the win anyway. If he hadn't, this would be a lot higher up the list.

22. Dana White Decides Phillipe Nover Is Next GSP

I bet everyone involved here would like a mulligan. During Season 8 of The Ultimate Fighter, Nover scored some nice victories, to the point where White chose to crown Nover a young Georges St-Pierre.

Like a football player drafted 10 spots too high, the overestimation seemed to put something of a target on Nover's back through no fault of his own. After losing all three of his official UFC bouts, Nover was out of the promotion.

21. Andrei Arlovski's Ill-Fated Flying Knee

It's the O.J. glove moment of MMA.

Andrei "Chris Darden" Arlovski had Fedor "The Juice" Emelianenko literally cornered in the ring. But instead of being patient, Arlovski swung for the home run.

He missed. Emelianenko didn't.

20. Professional Fighter Kalib Starnes Decides to Run from Professional Fight

At UFC 83, Starnes actually ran away from opponent Nate Quarry for much of the fight. The strategy didn't work. He lost the fight and soon after lost his job in the UFC.

19. Dennis Hallman Rocks the Special Shorts

Hoping this one doesn't need any explanation.

18. Jacob Volkmann Calls Out the President of the United States

After a nice win at UFC 125, Volkmann, a chiropractor who had a problem with the recently enacted health care reform law, said he'd like to "knock some sense" into President Barack Obama.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's his right to speak his mind, and yes, I know this is America. Expressing his opinion wasn't the problem. The problem came later, when he received a little visit from the Secret Service. Volkmann later said he regretted the remarks.

Lesson for all the kids out there: Expressing your opinion is one thing. Threatening people—much less the leader of the free world—with violence, no matter how glibly, is another.

17. Kevin Randleman Knocks Himself Out

This wasn't really a decision per se, but when Randleman knocked himself out prior to his match with Pedro Rizzo at UFC 24, it was a pretty dumb moment. There had to have been a bad decision in there somewhere. This sort of thing never happens to Kobe Bryant.

16. Babalu Tries Hand at Vigilante Justice

Renato "Babalu" Sobral decided to teach David Heath a lesson at UFC 74 after Heath called him a not-very-nice name in the run-up to the fight. After Babalu held his anaconda choke so long (after Heath tapped) that Heath lost consciousness, the UFC decided to dole out a lesson of its own and released Sobral from the promotion.

15. Brock Lesnar Loses His Mind

A dumb-splosion of epic proportions, when Lesnar insulted the UFC, the UFC's newest and biggest sponsor and generally made a jackass of himself at the climax of UFC 100, which to that point was the largest UFC event in history. Shortly after the show, Lesnar apologized, possibly at the point of a bayonet.

14. Melvin Guillard Decides, Screw It, I'm Just Gonna Do Some Coke

Don't give me that look, Melvin. You did it to yourself. YOU!

Back in 2007, Guillard tested positive for cocaine following a loss to Joe Stevenson at UFC Fight Night 9.

Why pick on this test out of the ocean of positive drug tests out there? Feel free to consider this about a 200-way tie if you like, as there is clearly no such thing as an OK positive drug test. But this one feels even dumber than most. It wasn't a performance enhancer like steroids. Not a painkiller like oxycodone. From what I understand, it doesn't linger in your system like marijuana or other drugs.

Nope, from what I can tell, Melvin Guillard wanted to party, and he just couldn't wait. And that's pretty dumb.

13. TUF Guy Kaplan Begs for KO

On Season 8 of The Ultimate Fighter, a drunk Dave Kaplan begs Tom Lawlor to punch him. Finally, to the ultimate dismay of both men, Lawlor obliges. 

Definitely Exhibit A in the Be Careful What You Wish For file, and an all-time dumb decision in MMA. I gotta say, though: It made damn good TV.

12. Fedor Not Coming to UFC When He Had the Leverage

A few days ago, fabled heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko said he had "a desire to compete in the UFC." Where was that sentiment a few years ago, when the UFC was throwing the bank at him but his management team wanted veto power over catering decisions, or something or other? Fedor was silent as a tomb back then.

Supply and demand, Fedor. You gotta sell high.

11. NY Bans MMA

UFC 100 was awesome as it was. But imagine if it had been held at Madison Square Garden.

For years now, the state of New York has been cutting off its nose to spite its face, watching as a few pigheaded legislators entrench themselves deeper and deeper into less and less tenable positions vis a vis MMA.

Now, the state is getting sued. You could have done this the easy way, New York. Everyone could have been a winner. Now, someone is bound to lose—and it doesn't look like the Constitution is on your side here.

10. Gilbert Yvel

Good fighter, but look at him. Now look at his track record. He's like the Greek god of dumb decision-making.

9. James Toney Deciding He Was an MMA Fighter

You can tell he started agreeing it was a dumb decision the second his backside hit the canvas.

8. The IFL's IPO

In 2006, the International Fight League was bought by/merged with another company, Paligent, and subsequently became a publicly traded company.

Less than a year later, the guy who owned Paligent and brokered the whole thing, a real estate developer named Richard Kurtz, sold his interest in the whole thing. Less than a year after that, the IFL folded.

A masterstroke all around!

7. Ken Shamrock Can't Walk Away

Staying long past your prime isn't a disease specific to Shamrock. But his situation might be the saddest. And the dumbest.

Shamrock is currently 47 years old and still fighting. OK. No laws against that. But he's had to pull out of fights more than once in 2011 because he had various infections. Infections!

He went 1-2 in 2010, with each fight coming in a different promotion. In his last fight, a loss to Mike Bourke, he was unable to continue due to leg injuries. Now he wants to fight James Toney, who also made this list. You do the math.

6. Paul Daley Sucker-Punches Josh Koscheck

That very night, Daley was out of the UFC. This sucker punch is as dumb as it gets.

5. David Gardner Gets Submitted After Waving to Crowd

At DREAM 7, Gardner waved to the Japanese fans in attendance. But...the fight...uh...was still going on. And he was fighting Shinya Aoki. Shinya Aoki beat him. Largely because of the waving.

D'oh!

4. Mayhem's Ill-Timed Rematch Request

When Jason Miller asked for a rematch with Jake Shields following Shields' win over Dan Henderson in 2010, it touched off a little unpleasantness in the ring, as you can see.

Miller wasn't the only one making dumb decisions here. Far from it. Plenty of dumbness to go around in this one. In fact, one of the big stars of the Nashville Brawl is also the star of our next slide...

3. Nick Diaz Pulls the No-Show

Diaz threw away a title shot when he jumped out of a window (or something) to avoid having to talk to the media. Just another day at the office.

2. Selling the UFC

Admittedly, this one has the benefit of hindsight. But when SEG sold the UFC brand to Zuffa in 2001 for $2 million and a handful of magic beans, it was selling the golden goose for a scrambled golden egg.

After some dark periods and a lot of TLC, here we are today. It took a ton of work to get the UFC where it is now. But you know what? It didn't take rocket science.

1. Judges Decide Anything

Listing all the bad judges' decisions is almost too daunting, like trying to make a list of everything. But let's take a shot at naming some of the most egregious exposures of the softest of soft spots on the skull of this sport.

* Randy Couture-Pedro Rizzo, UFC 31

* Nick Ring-Riki Fukuda, UFC 127

* Lyoto Machida-Mauricio Rua I, UFC 104

* Michael Bisping-Matt Hamill, UFC 75

* Leonard Garcia's entire career

* Frankie Edgar-BJ Penn, UFC 112

And the list goes ooooooonnnn and onnnnnnnn...