Brett Favre to Chicago Bears: Why This Absolutely Cannot, Must Not Happen

Somehow, someway, you knew this was going to happen. Out of the spotlight long enough, retired quarterback Brett Favre has thrust himself back into NFL conversation with some not-so-shocking news early today. 

A source close to Favre said that the 42-year-old quarterback would listen if the Chicago Bears gave him a call about their dire situation at the position.

ESPN's Adam Schefter had this tweet earlier today:

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"A source familiar with a certain QB in Mississippi told http://ESPNChicago.com that that QB would listen if the Bears made a pitch."

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ESPN Chicago's Michael C. Wright was the first to report the story, and Wright said in his write-up that Favre has been working out and staying in shape.

Wright also stated that any talks beginning with the Bears doesn't mean he'll necessarily come out of retirement. Staying retired is definitely still an option he'd consider heavily.

Let me say this: Brett, staying retired should be your only option. This is so far-fetched from his side that it isn't even funny.

Why would this be a bad idea?

Let's start small. We saw how poorly he played last season with the Vikings. He went from career year to worst year in a span of nine months, and it was clear that the skills that had made him a Hall of Fame quarterback had regressed in a hurry. At this point, there's nothing we saw from last season that would make him a huge upgrade in Chicago.

Would the Bears even want him? All early indications on that question are a big N-O. As poorly as Caleb Hanie has played, especially last week, the Bears are committed to sticking with him down the stretch. He knows Mike Martz's offense, too. 

Which brings us to our second point. This isn't just plugging Favre into some West Coast offense that he knows like the back of his hand. Martz's offense is schematically different and it would take Favre time to get it down. Unless the Bears would rush him out completely unprepared, Favre might not be an option for two to three weeks.

That's not even taking into consideration the physical aspect of getting Favre ready. 

And then there's the issue of the offensive line. Did Favre see what happened to Hanie last week against the Chiefs? Seven sacks. Jay Cutler has been one of the most beat-up quarterbacks in the NFL recently.

At this stage in his career, Favre has almost zero mobility. Behind that offensive line, the old man would get snapped in two pieces. 

Finally, we have the media circus that would surround Favre's return. Does any team in football really want to deal with that, especially since we are 13 weeks into this season? Adding Favre changes a locker room.

And don't forget that the Bears take on the Packers at Lambeau on Christmas night, which could potentially cause some kind of apocalyptic event to happen in Green Bay if Favre showed up wearing a blue-and-orange-laced jersey. I can't even imagine how the media would take control of that game.

All in all, this is something that absolutely should not happen. Favre will have that itch to play football probably until the day he dies, but he's done. He should stay retired. No one wants to see him embarrass himself again like he did in 2010.

Repeat after me, Brett: Stay retired, get to five years out, get inducted into the Hall of Fame...those should be your football plans right now, not trying to seduce your way into the Windy City for some last-ditch, look-at-me-now drama fest.