Dear Santa: Please Let the Philadelphia Eagles Beat the Dallas Cowboys

Mathematically, the Philadelphia Eagles are not out of the playoffs.

They need a whole lot of help, though. The Chicago Bears/Minnesota Vikings need to lose and so do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The same Tampa Bay Buccaneers who play the Oakland Raiders so, I'm not holding my breath.

But first and foremost, the Eagles need to win.

If it weren't for the Week 16 meltdown, the Eagles would be in prime position to vault into the NFC playoffs and would be only three wins away from the Super Bowl.

Now, they're playing for a different purpose: BEAT THE DALLAS COWBOYS.

Just beat the Dallas Cowboys. The playoffs would be great, but we cannot allow the Cowboys to head to the playoffs through the Linc. So if we go down, at least we can take them with us.

I was thinking about all of this the other day and decided that I'd write to the one man who can help us.

A man bigger than Andy Reid, Jollier than the entire cities of Miami and Atlanta right now, and with more magic than John Elway inside the 2-minute warning.

Santa Clause.

Dear Santa,

I'm a Philadelphia Eagles' fan, so obviously I've been naughty. I've cursed at my TV every Sunday and wished harm on numerous people who, maybe...just maybe, didn't deserve it.

I'm now coming to you, a fan at his wits end. All I want for Christmas is a victory over the Dallas Cowboys.

And I know, we threw snowballs at you but that was 40 years ago man, get over it.

The Cowboys do not deserve the playoffs. They are nothing but a soap opera. All of My Children, General Hospital, and Young and the Restless have got nothing on that locker room.

And I'm certain their players deserve nothing more than coal. T.O. is greedy, Tony Romo is smug, Jason Witten is apparently a spy holding secret meetings to make T.O. angry, and Pacman Jones...well, I mean even Santa has to get ESPN.

I don't want a new toy, I don't want world peace, I don't need any of that.

All I want, no, NEED, is to see the Cowboys lose. If you could do that for me, I promise to be nice next year. No cursing at my TV on a weekly basis, no death threats, no day dreams of anvils falling on certain people or buses entering a stadium with a drunk driver at the wheel who just was served with divorce papers and nothing more to live for.

Well, that's all Santa. I just hope you can come through for me on this one. And just so you know, the game is three days after your workday is over but, come on, you work one day a year.

Signed with hope in my heart,

Bob Cunningham

P.S. Santa, if you're feeling generous, could you maybe find a way for the Oakland Raiders and Houston Texans to pull off wins in the same week? I know, I know, too much. Okay, that's it. ... Oh, and if the Vikings could lose to second stringers that would be great. Okay now really, that's it.

Actually, P.P.S. Could we also get a receiver for next season? I'm thinking Chad Johnson or Anquan Boldin. I know that's not until March but this is the only time I have to get ahold of you so, I'm just letting you know. Oh, and please talk Lurie and Heckert out of trading McNabb. Dear Lord he's our only hope.

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

My letter is on its way to the North Pole right now, as we speak.

Or, as you read...I type. You get it.

All you Eagles' fans, close your eyes and wish real hard.

We'll need all the help we can get.