5 Dallas Cowboys Players Cast as Thanksgiving Day Items

The Dallas Cowboys and Thanksgiving Day are an American tradition.  People enjoy coming together for a big Thanksgiving Day dinner.  Often, the fare will include turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie.

Many walk away from Thanksgiving Day dinner wishing they hadn't eaten as much as they did.  Some wonder how much weight they gained—pining that the TV show they watched was right and they only gained one pound.

Meanwhile, some will devote time to watching the Cowboys play their annual Thanksgiving Day game.  For some Cowboys fans, that may require persuading members of their family to move the start of dinner or allow them to wander from the dinner table to follow the game.

Some might even want to bring the game to the table.

Or—in a more radical move—bring the Cowboys to the dinner table.

What if certain Cowboys players were given figurative body at the Thanksgiving Day table?

Follow along to see which Cowboys players are cast as which Thanksgiving Day items.

Jason Witten as the Horn of Plenty

The horn of plenty is the winding horn that contains an abundance of food.  Not many people actually have a practical use for it.  Besides, one can only wonder how many stores carry a horn of plenty.

Nevertheless, it would be a nice thing to have if a person could find and afford it.

Jason Witten perfectly fits the horn of plenty description.  Witten carries an abundant load for the Cowboys.  He has been the most reliable target for Tony Romo.  Witten leads the Cowboys in receptions (52) and receiving yards (670).  He caught at least four passes in each of the first nine games.

Whenever Romo needs him to, Witten carries the load.

By the way, did you know that horns plenty—at least the ones found in nature—are edible?

DeMarcus Ware as Dark Turkey Meat

Everyone likes a good piece of dark turkey meat (except those who don't eat meat, of course).  Dark turkey meat has the flavor, color and texture that everyone desires.

Too bad there's never enough to go around.

Similarly, DeMarcus Ware is the sack machine that everyone wants on their team.  Ware leads the NFL in sacks (14).  He has racked up sacks in all but two games this season. 

Ware is a presence in opposing backfields like no other.  He gets back there with speed and desire.  Then, he envelopes the quarterback, leaving him with an indelible impression.

Deep inside the Cowboys fan, Ware leaves an incredible feeling, just like that dark meat.

Tony Romo as Light Meat

Light turkey meat isn't bad.  The stuff isn't as good as dark meat.  People typically take light meat if the turkey doesn't have enough dark meat—or if the person doesn't want to take dark meat that someone else could have had.

Romo is a pretty good quarterback.  He isn't Tom Brady.  On the other hand, he isn't Caleb Hanie either.  He's a pretty accurate passer (64.5 percent completion rate this season).  He can make great throws.

However, there are those blown games and pesky interceptions.

Not everyone can have Tom Brady.  Sometimes teams have to settle for something a bit closer to the ordinary.

Nonetheless, Romo—and light turkey meat—can make a person feel good.

Dan Bailey as Blarney Salad

This isn't the most All-American dish.  Blarney salad is one of the few recipes that the Irish can be proud to have originated.  Other items dished out by the Irish—shepherd's pie, bruised turnips and this author, to name a few—are more like a bad practical joke.

Anyhow, Blarney salad is that rarity that the Irish did right.  The dish is a fair compliment to a Thanksgiving dinner.  The patrons enjoy taking some early on, and then will scoop up some more once or twice.

Similarly, Dan Bailey is that guy who is a rare Cowboys kicker who came out right.  Often, Cowboys kickers, like Billy Cundiff and David Buehler, have disappointed.  Many in Cowboys history have been inaccurate and unreliable from long range.

Meanwhile, Bailey has been clutch in his rookie campaign.  He leads the NFL in field-goal percentage (.962) and is the only kicker who is perfect beyond 40 yards (9-for-9).

Like Blarney salad, Bailey is one for whom the Cowboys keep coming back, letting him finish off drives for the offense.

Cowboys Offensive Line as Cranberry Sauce

Cranberry sauce isn't exactly the most desirable dish on the Thanksgiving Day table.  Not many people are in the mood for cranberry sauce, especially when a great number of other comestibles populate the table.  Anyway, someone often messes up the cranberry sauce.

Besides, only the wildest pallets actually desire cranberry sauce.

The Cowboys offensive line isn't that great.  Their sack rate is 5.2 percent of drop backs, which isn't bad, but isn't that good either.  Phil Costa botched six snaps against the Redskins in Week 3.  Four of the five starters on the offensive line have started every game this season, which is nice, but they still have work to do to build as a group.

Neither cranberry sauce nor the Cowboys offensive line leaves Cowboys fans feeling good.