Man Breaks into Kenny Williams' House, Does Everything but Release Adam Dunn

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be Chicago White Sox general manager Kenny Williams?

Probably not, huh? Can't say I blame you.

The idea of being a subpar Major League Baseball GM just isn't as appealing as being, say, LeBron James for a day.

But some guy gave it a shot anyway.

According to a report from NBC Chicago, a Chicago man was arrested on Monday for breaking into Williams' home while he was out of town. Per the report, the man made himself at home for a couple of days, and his activities included eating Williams' frozen pizza, drinking his beer, surfing his Internet, chilling on his bed and wearing his clothes.

He also wore Williams' 2005 World Series ring, which, to be honest, you would kinda have to do in this situation. The man, a 51-year-old named Wayne L. Field III, also defrosted a lobster. 

As for that, well, whatever floats your boat, creepy home-invader guy.

The best part of this story (no, we actually haven't gotten to it yet) is how Field was caught. Supposedly, Field was not at the house when the police first arrived, but he returned and was seen peeking into the house. Police spotted him wearing Williams' clothes and made the arrest.

Just so we're clear on one thing—this is all true. Williams himself confirmed it. 

Interestingly enough, in all the time Field was in Williams' home, he never thought to pick up the telephone and try to authorize some personnel moves. The possibilities would have been endless there, as the White Sox are a mess of a team that could use a little fat-trimming.

Adam Dunn comes to mind. Instead of making an effort to have him traded or released, Field spent his time eating pizza and drinking beer.

Well, I hope he had fun, because he sure as hell wasn't productive in the time he spent in Williams' shoes.

This is not to say I would have been, mind you. I also like eating pizza and drinking beer, and I presume Williams can afford the good stuff.

Yup, it's good to be the GM of the White Sox.