Rules for Sports' Fans: Wearing a Jersey Doesn't Make You a Fan

There are are no clear cut rules on being a sports fan.  You buy your teams gear, you watch the games and, in today's trying economy, maybe you go to a game.

Nothing scientific about that, right? Just having fun enjoying the world of sports.  Sports is reality television in its finest form.

With all that said, there are some "fans " that simply can't be tolerated.  So, I'm going to have a little fun at their expense.  Fun, that's all it is, so don't take what I say too seriously.

If you're wearing an NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL or any jersey for that matter, and you're out window shopping to kill time, do not walk up to the electronics salesman and ask him the score of the game that your attire represents.

How dare you! You have free time and the option to stay home and watch that game.  Don't try and rationalize your behavior by saying you have things to do and you can't waste your time watching games all day.  If that's the case, then don't wear the jersey.  The individual who usually does something like this is trying his hardest to hold on to his fanhood, but the reality is that it's buried deep in his wife's purse and he may never see it again.

I understand this is a tough situation to be in, but it's nobody's fault but his.  He let this happen and now his misery causes pain for others, and that's why this behavior should be banned.

Let's talk about the poor salesman for a minute.  He has to be at work, and when he decides he wants to catch a quick glimpse of the Alabama game, don't walk up to him in an Alabama Jersey, ask the score and walk away saying "roll Tide."

Who knows, he might be from Alabama, and has to work to feed his family and missing this game is killing him, he does not need you walking around flaunting their colors, along with the freedom he so desperately craves.

Real life can get in the way of recreational activities such as watching sports. I get that. But if you really love sports you should do everything in your power to make sure you set aside a few hours a week to watch your favorite team.  You deserve it!

The schedules come out way in advance, so unless the situation is completely unavoidable (i.e., a wedding, funeral, kid's sporting event), sit your butt down and tell the wife and kids that you will be with them in three hours or so.

If the wife wants to see a movie, do it the day before. Movies run on a loop, Alabama versus Auburn does not.  I'm not saying to ditch quality time with your family, just don't do it when you really want to watch a game and it forces you to be that aforementioned guy in the jersey.

Every now and then I have to make concessions myself.  I'll take the wife out for dinner and a movie on a Saturday evening (in civilian clothes, of course) and miss the occasional big game.  Although, don't let me see you in the theater that I'm in, wearing your USC jersey while the Trojans are doing battle with Notre Dame.  I have no allegiance to either of those teams, but missing that game would sting a bit. But that's the sacrifice I had to make so I could watch the NFL on Sunday.

If not for me, do it for the poor kid taking tickets at the theatre. He might be a future fourth-generation Trojan and is missing the game to save up for tuition that his parents can no longer afford.  I may be over-dramatizing the situation a bit, but you know what I'm getting at.  You wouldn't stop at a stop light and pour out a 32-ounce cup of of ice cold water in front of someone walking across an intersection in 100-degree weather, would you?

Here's a little tip: Make the game that you're missing on Saturday seem like the Super Bowl, the wife will think you made a huge sacrifice and you are golden for the Sunday festivities.

Here's another no-no of fandom. Don't walk into a store, spot someone wearing clothes that represent your so-called team and ask him if they won.  If you do this and the outcome of the game was not in his team's favor, please don't utter the words, "Good, I'm a huge fan, I'm glad I missed it." Don't be that guy! This has happened to me on several occasions and it takes tremendous restraint to not rip into this guy for being a moron.  So now when I'm shopping after a game (one of the sacrifices of laying around all day watching football), I usually change my clothes before I head out to complete the honey-do list.  I suggest you do the same thing so you don't have to deal with this knucklehead.

Minutes before I started this article I was watching the New York Jets play the Denver Broncos on the NFL Network.  Broncos' quarterback Tim Tebow was in the midst of another comeback and I kicked my daughter out of the room.  Mean? A little, but I was nice about it and I will pay for it later.  But had I not dismissed her, I might have missed Tebow as he stuck a knife in the heart of Jets' fans everywhere with a 20-yard touchdown run that did in the team wearing green and white.

I have no allegiance to Tebow and the Broncos. In fact, I despise them. But that play was worth watching, that's for sure.  But mark my words, as I was politely telling my daughter to go away, there was some joker standing in line for the midnight showing of the new Twilight movie, wearing a No. 15 Broncos' jersey and asking around for the score of the game.