UFC: 13 Awesomely Bad Matchups That the UFC Should Never Actually Book

There are fights that are bad, and then there are fights that are so bad they're awesome.

Throughout MMA there are fighters who fans love to loath. They bemoan hearing about them and seeing them fight but, secretly, we all have some sort of morbid excitement and curiosity about how these fights would turn out.

What fights could possible be so terrible that they'd be great? Read and find out!

Royce Gracie vs. Art Jimmerson II

Royce Gracie made his UFC debut by humiliating one-gloved boxer Art Jimmerson.

It has been 18 years since their fight but Jimmerson hasn't let it go. Jimmerson has begun training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and rumors were circulating before UFC 134 that Royce Gracie-Art Jimmerson II would actually happen!

Fortunately for the UFC's credibility, the fight wasn't booked and more deserving competitors got a place on the card.

But wouldn't you be curious to see Gracie and Jimmerson duke it out now that the playing field is more even?

Royce Gracie vs. Ken Shamrock III

The first between Ken Shamrock and Royce Gracie saw the Brazilian choke Shamrock out.

The second fight was one of the most lackluster contests in the sport's history, with Shamrock just lying in Gracie's guard for the duration of the fight.

Now that both men are into their 40's, what would a third match-up look like? Bad. Awesomely bad.

Ken Shamrock vs. Tank Abbott

Unfortunately for Ken Shamrock, there are still many more bad matches we'd love to see him in.

One such match is an unfulfilled grudge match with the original Huntington Beach bad boy, David "Tank" Abbott.

The two had (and still have) legitimate bad blood but were never able to settle their differences in the Octagon. In April 2009, both Abbott and Shamrock attempted to set the fight up, but it fell through.

It would be the most awesomely bad grudge match (and I mean bad since, most recently, Abbott could barely go a few minutes against Scott Ferrozzo without gassing heavily). But hey, better late than never, right?

Ken Shamrock vs. Robert Berry II

Journeyman Robert "Buzz" Berry was hand-picked to lose to Ken Shamrock at Cage Rage 25.

Unfortunately for ProElite (the company that owned Cage Rage at the time) brass, Shamrock was totally outclassed.

The stipulation going into the fight was that the winner would face Kimbo Slice at an EliteXC event. After Shamrock lost, he was given the fight against Slice anyway since Kimbo Slice vs. Robert Berry wouldn't exactly turn heads.

Fortunately for the MMA world, Ken Shamrock vs. Kimbo Slice didn't happen.

Wouldn't that fight have been awesomely bad though, you ask? Maybe, but there's another fight involving Ken Shamrock that would've been epically bad.

Ken Shamrock vs. James Toney

Ken Shamrock and James Toney nearly fought, but their endeavor has since fell apart due to money problems.

This fight is certainly bad in the sense that is has no relevance, but wouldn't it be awesome to watch, nonetheless?

Tim Sylvia vs. Andrei Arlovski IV

Tim Sylvia vs. Andrei Arlovski was a legendary feud until their third fight was little more than light sparring match and until it was realized just how overrated each guy was (Tim Sylvia lost to Ray Mercer, Andrei Arlovski lost four straight fights).

Now, both men work for the resurrected ProElite organization. It was even rumored that they would be meeting in the cage for a fourth time this month!

The rumors were fictitious, but wouldn't it be great to see them go at it one more time, just for nostalgia's sake?

Kimbo Slice vs. DaDa 5000

Famed street brawlers Kimbo Slice and DaDa 5000 are cut from the same cloth.

Therefore, wouldn't it be exciting to see them go at it to see who the best Internet brawler actually is?

Rumor has it that it's being planned for 2012.

Perhaps this can be the main event for the UFC's next event on FOX?

Alistair Overeem vs. Valentijn Overeem

There's never been a brother vs. brother fight in the UFC, so why not put this one together? Valentijn even said he'd be willing to do it, so we're half way there.

Bob Sapp vs. Mike Tyson

What would a list of awesomely bad fights be without the man who helped perfect the freakshow fight, Bob Sapp?

Sapp's opponents have run the gamut to legitimate fighters like Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic to more seedy fighters like Kimo Leopoldo, to the outright ridiculous like cartoon character Kinniku Mantaro.

However, if Sapp still had one last great freakshow fight, it should be against Mike Tyson. Why? Because the fight was actually planned but ultimately fell through.

Sapp and Tyson aren't the top echelon of MMA fighters, but seeing them fight would be awesome.

Shaquille O'Neal vs. Hong Man Choi

Believe it or not, Shaquille O'Neal actually did call out giant Korean kickboxer/MMA fighter Hong Man Choi.

Does this fight belong on a UFC card? No. Would it be fun to watch? Undeniably.

Jose Canseco vs. Emmanuel Yarborough

Jose Canseco has participated in a freakshow fight against Hong Man Choi but wouldn't it be amazing to see him do so again, but this time against the massive sumo wrestler of UFC 3 fame Emmanuel Yarborough?

Could Canseco avoid Yarborough's patented "smother" submission hold? Could he become a .500 fighter and bring his record to 1-1? Such questions are why the fight needs to happen.

Junior Dos Santos vs. Dominick Cruz

Secretly, we've all wanted to see what would ensue if the heavyweight champion took on the bantamweight champion.

Junior Dos Santos vs. Dominick Cruz wouldn't be a fair fight and it would likely end with Cruz being severely injured, but doesn't it pique your curiosity at least a little bit?

Anderson Silva vs. Daiju Takase and Ryo Chonan...at Once

Anderson Silva has only had four losses in his career (one being the result of a disqualification) with the most high-profile ones being to Daiju Takase (via triangle choke) and Ryo Chonan (via flying scissor heel-hook).

Since the losses, Silva has increased his skills exponentially while Chonan has fizzled out and Takase was never even good enough to "fizzle out" since he was below .500 when he beat Silva and is still below .500.

It'd be nice to let Silva avenge his worst losses, but it'd be unfair to Chonan and Takase to fight someone so far above them.

How can this be resolved?

Simple. Have Takase and Chonan fight Silva in a 2-on-1 handicap match a la professional wrestling.

Who wouldn't want to see this?