WWE Raw Gets Rocked: Gullo's Checklist of Things to Watch for

I can't describe to you in words (even though I'll have to) how excited I am for tonight's Monday Night Raw live in Boston, Massachusetts. Me and a friend, who bought tickets to this shin-dig back in early July, have truly lucked out and now own one of the hottest WWE tickets of the entire year. I have enlisted his help with keeping a running diary (journal for all you tough guys not comfortable with the word diary) of the entire night's festivities. 

Hopefully with pictures....

My Girlfriend: You seriously don't own a camera? If you own a cell phone you own a camera. Just use that. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel with you and your sidekick using my camera after you lost your last one, and will be inevitably drinking adult beverages and roaming the streets of Boston with all those other idiots...

Side note: She did not use the word idiots... I was actually a little offended by her word choice.  

While the WWE product, as a whole, has slipped a little bit in multiple areas: lack of Survivor Series build-up, relying on Kevin "Old Man Rivers" Nash (who I still blame for causing Triple-H to miss time), letting their supposed second-tier program (Smackdown) run circles around their main brand and continually pushing this Cole/JR feud down our throats (like anyone really gives a damn)...

... The product is about to get a million times better with the inclusion of one man. There's no doubt that if you remotely care about professional wrestling and have a pulse, you're looking forward to tonight. That doesn't mean it's guaranteed to be any good, but at least it'll be exciting and interesting.

.. Kinda like any Transformers or Fast and Furious Movie. 

In preparation for tonight's events I compiled a list of things you should watch for, and, no, I will not be stating the obvious like: The Rock, Brodus Clay and whether or not Mick Foley is returning. I feel like I already missed the boat on writing those articles, and you've probably read at least ten of them by now, so I'll spare you.    

But, in all seriousness, is Mick Foley returning?

Please don't tell me he already returned at a house show, because a "return" doesn't count unless it's in front of a live audience that is being broadcasted during a main show and is incorporated into current story lines. I hope to God he does, so we can witness a Rock N' Sock reunion, but if it doesn't I won't be upset because I'm already excited about the following:

1. Will my friend, who will be wearing his vintage red John Cena shirt, get into a confrontation with a member from "Team Bring It?"

2. How will Boston welcome hometown boy, John Cena.

Listen, we here in Boston don't like being "PG" or "PC" (politically correct), and it just so happens that our city is represented by the biggest cartoon character/boy scout/superhero currently in the WWE. He'll get cheered, but in all honesty it doesn't add up. Have you seen The Departed, The Town, Good Will Hunting or Gone Baby, Gone? Could you imagine Cena, sans the Dr. of Thuganomics, in these settings? He'd easily be the first guy killed, or at least knocked out.

The Rock: Hey John, you like apples?

Cena: Well of course, apples are not only delicious, but packed with minerals and vitamins that keep your body healthy and strong.

(Rock Bottom)

The Rock: Well how do you like them apples!

I'm trying to work a deal where Boston trades Ben Affleck and John Cena to Chicago for CM Punk, but the brass in Chicago wanted to include Mark Wahlberg in the deal and that's just not happening. Hopefully we get this situated before tonight, but it's not looking good.

If Cena opens the show, an already hyped, raucous crowd will cheer the (stuff) out of him. However, if the Rock opens and Cena comes second...God help his soul.

3. Prepare for ridiculous energy from the live crowd in Boston. I'm dead serious when I say the following statement:

"Some cities are not wrestling cities, and should not be allowed to host live televised events."

Over the course of 2011 (the first full year of wrestling I've watched in awhile) I've noticed a couple of things, but one thing stands out more then any other. Some of the crowds for Raw and Smackdown have, as the Rock would say, "absolutely sucked!"

How hard is it to get excited over being at a live WWE event and cheering/booing appropriately? I understand the product you're viewing might not live up to your ridiculous, I like to judge everything from the "Attitude Era," standards, but you're ruining it even more for those watching at home.

Going to a WWE event is unlike anything else in the world. Whereas other sporting events are comprised of roughly 60 percent actual fans and 40 percent corporate sponsors/suits/sleeping kids/casual fans, if you're attending a WWE event, chances are you're a fan. You signed up for a job when you bought your ticket, so do it!

I know Boston will...

4. Our attempted "Broski of the Week sign," while still up in the air, is pretty much going to guarantee us a spot on Ryder's show at some point. The sign simply states: Broski of Infinity plus one...

... Because you really, mathematically can't be a bigger Broski then that.

My Friend: You should just hold up a sign that says "William Gullo @ Bleacher Report" imagine all the publicity that would follow.

5. The Rock. I know I said I wouldn't state the obvious, but I just couldn't help it and I needed some filler. At least I'm an honest liar.

6. I don't know about you, but I'm really excited to see where the divas' division drama is headed. No? OK, moving on then.

7. The supposed main event (that's been advertised locally) is a six-man tag match between Cena, Punk and Orton vs. Henry, The Miz and R-Truth, and it should be interesting. It could end up being a dark match that happens after Raw goes dark, but we'll see. That's far too much star power to not feature on live television. Not to mention the inclusion of The Rock and potentially Mick Foley...

... I'm getting giddy just thinking about this right now.

8. I'm excited to hear the Survivor Series theme song at least five times tonight. I'll set the over/under at four and take the over. This is not a joke. I actually thoroughly enjoy this song.

9. This is going to sound extremely corny, but it's semi-true. I'm excited for you to be excited, and I'm also excited for the inevitable "hate" articles that filter in when the WWE (once again) disappoints some of you.

But really, I am excited to see you excited about a WWE event. Tonight, no matter how it's booked, should be entertaining to say the least. It's not everyday that the WWE gets a chance to put an event like this on. Cherish it, because it's only a matter of time before the WWE travels to Canada and we get to watch Bret Hart "return" for the millionth time, but sadly that's something that will inevitably happen.

I'll take one episode every seven years with the Rock over five episodes a year of Bret Hart pretending to wrestle/play biased Canadian GM for the night.

My Friend: Hey, do me a favor and see if you can keep your word count for this article to under 1,500 words. I'm sure people actually have things to do with their lives rather then read your prolonged ramblings.

10. I'm excited to watch Cena get slapped around by The Rock so my friend will end up crying by the end of the night.