The Absolutely Worst of the NFL, Week 10 Edition

The NFL-obsessed public wants nothing but the best possible matchups at every time slot every week. Connoisseurs of professional football love nothing better than a whole day and evening of sampling beautifully paired football teams.

Starting this week, the NFL and the TV networks are able to "flex schedule" the finest on-paper matchups into open time slots to maximize our viewing pleasure.

But there's a reason why they play the games: Some of the NFL's most tantalizing Week 10 menu options should have been sent back to the kitchen—they were among the Absolutely Worst of the NFL.

The Absolutely Worst Loss by a Winning Team: You tell me!

I can't decide which was the most rancid performance by a supposedly USDA Prime team: the Lions' 37-13 disaster in Chicago, the Buffalo Bills' 44-7 dismantling at the hands of the Cowboys or the unbelievable 22-17 upset of the Baltimore Ravens by the hapless Seattle Seahawks. Can you all help me make up my mind?

The Absolutely Worst Fashion Accessory: Matthew Stafford's gloves

The Lions opened their crucial divisional matchup by uncharacteristically losing a fumble. They followed that act on the next drive by repeating the feat. Tragedy turned into comedy, as Matthew Stafford doubled his eight-game season interception total in a spectacularly implosive afternoon.

How did Stafford take a Lions team that had been leading the league with a plus-13 turnover ratio and lead it to a six-giveaway performance? In one word: gloves.

Stafford wore gloves during practice last week and in the game tonight. He claimed before the game they were to help him with Chicago's cold air but afterwards admitted they were to hide a fractured finger on his throwing hand. Heck, they could have saved the cost of the gloves; I'm sure backup quarterback Shaun Hill could have thrown four interceptions without any fancy accessories.

The Absolutely Worst Individual Pass Defense: Brian Dawkins

The Denver Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs were an entrée that had all but the hungriest NFL diners pushing away from the table. Yet those who didn't partake missed one of the most spectacular little morsels of pass-catching—and inedible vile hunks of pass defense—served up by the NFL this season.

Kansas City WR Johnny Baldwin caught a 50-plus-yard pass around a completely oblivious Brian Dawkins. The Broncos safety, a four-time first-team All-Pro, literally threw up his hands while Baldwin wrapped his arms around him, caught the ball blindly, hugged it to Dawkins' back and took both of them to the ground.

A Chiefs illegal-formation penalty wiped this, one of the game's few memorable plays, off the books. The Internet won't ever let Dawkins live that stinker down, though.

The Absolutely Worst Quarterback Management: Mike Shanahan, Washington Redskins

The Redskins got off to a 3-2 start despite some awful quarterback play by Rex Grossman. In order to keep the success going, the Redskins turned to backup John Beck. Three games later, the Redskins went back to Sexy Rexy just in time to face the 1-7 Dolphins.

Two interceptions and no touchdowns later, the 1-7 Dolphins are the 2-7 Dolphins, and the first-place 3-2 Redskins are the fourth-place 3-6 Redskins. What everyone suspected before the season started has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt: The Redskins don't have an NFL-caliber quarterback on their roster.

The Absolutely Worst Clock Management: Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons

In the waning moments of the first half, Falcons receiver Harry Douglas had just shredded the Saints defense, and the Falcons set up shop at the Saints' 35. With 30 seconds and a timeout on their side, the Falcons only moved the ball forward 12 yards en route to a 41-yard field goal attempt—which kicker Matt Bryant missed.

Rather than get a little closer and make a real push for the end zone—or even a closer field goal—the Falcons laid up, and it cost them the game. Think that's dramatic? The Saints' winning margin was three points.