Miami Marlins Uniforms: New Looks Show Team Stuck in Horrible Time Machine

Everyone, I have some big news.  It may be shocking to some, devastating for others, and relieving for many.  But whatever group you fall into, you need to know this. 

Are you ready?

The 1970's are over. 

Obviously, though, the Miami Marlins didn't get the memo.

Despite the fact that the team didn't even exist until 1993, they seem stuck in the 1970's.

Matt Snyder revealed the Marlins' new look earlier on Friday. 

Maybe because the Marlins weren't around for the 1970's and early 1980's, they feel like they missed out.  Frankly, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't count my blessings that I wasn't alive at that point. 

Is there something wrong with tradition?  What exactly is wrong with white uniforms at home, gray on the road?  With the exception of those aforementioned years, that's the way baseball has been forever. 

Sure, every now and again a team may have a throwback day—the Giants have "Orange Friday," where they wear orange uniforms.

I don't like that too much.  But as long as it's contained as part of throwback day, I can at least make my peace with the whole matter. 

But you're telling me that whenever I watch a Marlins' home game, I have to see these ridiculous things?  I never I would say this, but can we bring back black and white televisions?

The road uniforms aren't bad.  Again, I prefer gray on the road, but aesthetically, black is fine. 

But what in the world is going on with that orange look?

If a black and white television isn't an option, I have only one hope for when I watch their home games, and it's really quite simple.

When I put the game on, I want to be struck blind by the time the bottom of the second inning ends.  Given the uniforms I'll be looking at, that may not be too tough to accomplish. 

Don't be afraid to stay traditional, folks.  When it comes to uniforms, tradition has never hurt anyone.