NFL Week 9 Picks: Which Teams Are Guaranteed Pathetic Losses ?

It's Week 9 time, baby. I've got it in mind to slay the hopes of a few teams that might be thinking this is the week to garner some wins. I scoff in their general direction as I tell it exactly as it is. 

This is a brutal league. One day you are the Indianapolis Colts, a team riding high on consistency and prestige. The next you are the Indianapolis Colts, a team mired in some sort of funk that you don't ever want to get on your wardrobe. 

Well, their disastrous season is contagious and will serve to infect a few more teams this weekend. The good news is that things always turn around in this league. The bad news is it won't be this week for the following squads. 

Miami Dolphins

The Miami Dolphins are mired by an awful secondary that allows pretty much any quarterback to look like Aaron Rodgers. That is not what troubles me; the fact the Dolphins are working against fate at the moment does. 

This team just can't catch a break. The Chiefs are on a hot streak after a spirited win against the Chargers on Monday night and will not be cooling off. 

Indianapolis Colts

Like the Pittsburgh Steelers, it seems the Falcons have figured things out and are on their way to becoming the playoff contenders we knew they could be. 

The Colts have meanwhile been the epitome of deplorable play. The fact that many believe they are "sucking" for Andrew Luck tells you how far this mighty team has fallen. 

San Diego Chargers

This one is painful to say, but I don't see the Chargers beating a rested giant such as the Packers on a short week, not when the Chargers looked like they did. 

There is clearly something wrong with Philip Rivers between the ears and that will continue to serve the Chargers losses. I understand the Packers have secondary issues. It will hardly matter against the Chargers, who continue to fin ways to beat themselves.