WWE: Five Segments with the Muppets That Need to Happen

The Muppets hold a special place in my heart, so when I heard that the Muppets were going to guest-host the Halloween edition of Raw, the little kid in me cheered like an eight-year-old rooting for John Cena hitting the Attitude Adjustment.

Ultimately the question became, however, how does one use such legendary characters properly on a wrestling show? They really can't wrestle, and the spots have to be done so you don't see them being manipulated by the "muppeteers." More or less, this will be a backstage-heavy show, I'm sure, but it has possibilities. 

There are a few segments that will allow WWE Creative to properly use the Muppets to the best effect. More or less, the following five things need to happen...

Bonus DVD Segments

OK, so let's actually start with honorable mentions. 

Jim Johnson, Rowlf, and The Electric Mayhem 

Ultimately, with as much as Jim Johnson has contributed to the WWE (there are virtually no themes since 1985 that they've used that he hasn't touched), he would deserve this segment.  

Fozzy and Dolph Ziggler

This is works for me, simply because the chemistry could be wonderful, particularly given Dolph's perchance for being more a straight guy to Fozzy's eccentric behaviors. 

Zack Ryder and the Count

"One batty! One batty! Woo Woo Woo Woo!"

Booker T. and the Count - Courtesy of Michael Buitrago

"How many titles have I won, sucka?" "One title, two title, ah ah ah ah.."

OK, now onwards...

Beaker and Santino

Beaker is one of the best sources of comedy for the Muppets, with a rather surprising amount of versatility. That's not bad for a Muppet that simple goes "meep" in various octaves. 

Anyone who's been a WWE fan for about a month or so knows that Santino Marella's use is strictly comedy. Invariably, a segment with the two babbling at each other could be gold, such as Marella talking Beaker under his wing, but Beaker going "meep" in that low, forlorn way that only he can. 

Jinder Mahal might work as well, but the "Punjabi gibberish" segments are a bit overdone.

Animal Chasing the Divas

OK, this likely won't happen given the current PG environment of the WWE, but the thought of Animal chasing the Bella Twins or Kelly Kelly around makes me giggle, particularly with him stopping in the middle of the chase, glancing at the camera, screaming "Woman!" and then continuing on. 

A show-long running gag like this could be gold, particularly if they cut through John Laurinaitis' office at some point, but that's just me.

Miss Piggy and the Divas of Doom

Beth Phoenix and Natalya are, currently, the two strongest Divas on the roster. It would make sense for the two "Divas of Doom" to have a segment with Miss Piggy, arguably one the most badass characters to ever grace the screen.

Any sort of banter should invariably devolve into Miss Piggy demonstrating some of her Pig Fu on the duo, but for the sake of storytelling, it's better this come at the hands of Miss Piggy then Kelly Kelly. Piggy is the better actor anyway.

CM Stands for Cookie Monster

I'm pretty that this sort of segment is penciled in anyway, but it needs to be reiterated. CM Punk and Cookie Monster must do a segment of some sort (assuming Sesame Street character are eligible), even if it's discussing which type of cookie is better.  

I know that Cookie Monster has been toned down in recent years from his sugar-induced binges to eating more vegetables, but given the time constraints that will be placed upon any segments, and the simple need to be as effective as possible, Cookie Monster and CM Punk need to binge. 

Anything less, and I riot.

The Jock and Frog Connection

You have to figure that the WWE is going to place Cena and Kermit into the same segment.  It's appropriate given Cena's target audience and Kermit's stature as, probably, the most iconic Muppet of them all.  You have to wonder what sort of dialogue they'll come up with, but either way, it could be as surreal a moment as it gets. 

Ultimately, a Rock-n-Frog connection could work out better.  I mean, who wouldn't mark out hearing "If you smell what the Frog is cooking!", but I doubt Rocky will be available.

Needless to say, I'm excited as hell for the Halloween episode of Raw.  As both a wrestling and Muppet fan, I really hope this will be a "kid in a candy store" episode.

Thanks for reading!  As always, what do you think?  What segments would be awesome to see?