NFL Fantasy Football: Best, Worst Performers of Week 3

This first bit of news isn’t really fantasy-related, but I have to get this off my chest: I got knocked out of our suicide pool after I forgot to make a pick for this weekend. And this was after I advanced to Week 3 by picking Arizona and Tampa Bay. For five freaking years, I had never made it out of Week 1 of any suicide pool, and then here I was in the last weekend in September with all the elite teams still in play. And I didn’t set my pick. This must be what it feels like to lose a child.

Anyway, let’s get to the highlights and lowlights of Week 3 in fantasy football. I’ve heard a lot of columns on the Internet called “Best and Worst of [Blank],” and I don’t really want to stick this weekly feature with something unoriginal, so maybe we’ll call it “Best and Least Best.” No, I think I actually hate that more.  

Stud Life: These guys really tied the room together. We’re talking about unchecked aggression, dude.

Wes Welker: 217 receiving yards, two TDs (99 percent owned in Y! fantasy leagues)

The “scrappy” Patriots wideout with “deceptive speed” caught 16 balls in that loss to Buffalo, a team that finally exploited New England’s generous defense. Both Tom Brady (387 passing yards, four passing TDs, 100 percent) and Ryan Fitzpatrick (369 passing yards, two TDs, 83 percent) will find themselves in even more shootouts as the year progresses, and the latter would be a great waiver-wire pickup if he’s available in your league.

Joe Flacco: 389 passing yards, three passing TDs (86 percent)

These are not your father’s Baltimore Ravens. Actually, your father probably never watched the Baltimore Ravens before you were born, because they didn’t exist. Unless you’re one of the cool babies out there reading up on fantasy sports. What’s up, you cool baby? Flacco threw 48 balls against the Rams in a 37-7 rout, which is somewhat humorous when you consider that the game was 21-0 at the end of the first quarter.

Darren McFadden: 171 rushing yards, two TDs (100 percent)

Hey Raiders fans: When the best player on your team jumps into the stands, catch him next time. 

Ryan Mathews: 149 all-purpose yards, two TDs (92 percent).

This is bad news for Mike Tolbert owners, who saw limited action against Kansas City Sunday. Tolbert registered only seven touches, compared to 21 and 17 in Weeks 1 and 2, respectively. The trend line is there, and Mathews’s improving play could make Tolbert a liability. 

Overachievers: Young bucks working their way up the proverbial ladder. They’re not literally his children.

Colt McCoy: 210 passing yards, two TDs (33 percent)

McCoy is a great waiver option this week. The Browns have had a light schedule up to this point, facing Cincy, Indy and Miami. And while the team may not have success against Tennessee, Oakland and Seattle in October, the balance of the schedule favors McCoy to put up some great fantasy production, with only Pittsburgh in Week 14 appearing to be a legitimate stumbling block. 

Torrey Smith: 152 receiving yards, three TDs (16 percent)

Welcome to the NFL, Torrey. How ironic is that Smith, who scored three TDs on his first three career catches, started for the injured Lee Evans, whose career can best be described as fantasy football poison. Never come back, Lee. It’s what’s best for all of us.

Victor Cruz: 110 receiving yards, two TDs (nine percent)

I remember when Cruz lit up the Jets for three touchdowns in that preseason game featured on “Hard Knocks” last season, and I wondered if we’d ever hear from him again. We have. Cruz scored twice against that Eagles “Dream Team” with a 74-yard catch-and-run that made the Philadelphia secondary look ridiculous. Until Mario Manningham returns to the field for the Giants, Cruz should be considered in play.  

Nihilists: Guys that believe in nothing—and produce accordingly.

Chris Johnson: 75 all-purpose yards, no TDs (100 percent)

I’m convinced that somehow this is all Matt Hasselbeck’s fault.  

Rashard Mendenhall: 46 all-purpose yards, no TDs (100 percent)

The Colts picked a really weird week to play well against the run. 

Vincent Jackson: 63 receiving yards, no TDs (100 percent)
DeSean Jackson: 30 receiving yards, no TDs (100 percent)

Choose your own disappointing Jackson here. I give the edge of disappointment to DeSean, who struggled in addition to...

Michael Vick: 176 passing yards, one passing TD (100 percent)

It’s great to see the NFL finally taking concussions so seriously. Yes, that was sarcasm.

Tony Romo: 255 passing yards, one INT (98 percent)

I’ve never seen a quarterback take so much credit for his team kicking six field goals.

No fantasy football email today, but you can email your questions about your league (or anything else) and see them answered here in upcoming posts.