Buffalo Bills Hand Tom Brady, New England Patriots Loss Years in the Making

Stalwart Buffalo Bills fans can identify with Ivan Drago, the USSR men’s hockey team and Phil Mickelson in any U.S. Open. They have been conditioned to blockbuster losses under the most improbable conditions.

Bills players and fans have suffered through four Super Bowl meltdowns, a decade of playoff absences and a list of starting quarterbacks that sound more like a list of pizza delivery guys than All-Pro gun-slinging stars. The Bills even started a QB with the last name of “Losman” and expected their fortunes to change. It’s no secret the Buffalo Bills have inhabited the basement of the NFL for years and showed no signs of moving out.

That is, until today.

Today the Bills ventured outside their parents’ house and stayed a night at the Ritz. When they showed up at the hotel, they went to the penthouse suite and found Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen canoodling on the California King with no intention of leaving. Instead of phoning security, the Bills gathered the all-world couple’s belongings and tossed them over the balcony and into the pool. Finally, they asked Gisele out for drinks and left Brady alone to watch game film and stare at himself in the mirror while flipping his greasy locks behind his ears muttering, “You have three Super Bowl rings, Tom, she’ll come back.”

Certainly a long-winded analogy for the come-from-behind, unexpected victory the Bills managed to construct on a beautiful autumn Sunday in Buffalo, but one can’t overstate the importance of such a feat. Coming into the contest, the Bills had not defeated Tom Brady’s Patriots in more than 2,900 days.

For a decade, Buffalo has hunkered in the shadow of a team that rolled through the NFL with a certain brand of entitled impudence that was fueled by wins, a golden-armed QB, a belligerent coach and a fistful of illegally procured game film.

Ironically, the Bills were once the class of the league in the same fashion, but managed to win the hearts of millions with a blue-collar approach on which guys like Brett Favre built a career. However, the Bills never cashed in and after the core group of Hall of Famers retired (Jim Kelly, Bruce Smith, Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed), they spiraled into years of attempts to retain their once-dominant swagger and, eventually, continuous “rebuilding” seasons resulting in dashed hopes and dreams for their loyal fan base.

Coming into today’s game, the Bills had defeated two worthy opponents by scoring like gangbusters, showing a resolve to finish in the fourth quarter and not give up until the final heave of a desperate opposing QB. There was a buzz among the national sports media that there was something brewing in Buffalo offensively, but there were too many questions on defense and too many “unknown” players.

Certainly a Harvard quarterback turned Cincinnati outcast turned Bills fill-in QB could not lead a team past Brady and his record-setting offense. No way Wes Welker and Chad Ochocinco could be stopped by no-names like Leodis McKelvin and Drayton Florence. As it turned out, Brady and Welker were not stopped. Instead, they were slowed just enough for the Bills and their faithful 70,000 fans in attendance to believe a win was possible.

The win was not officially in the books until Bills kicker Rian Lindell sealed it with a chip-shot field goal that sent Ralph Wilson Stadium into a frenzy and Bills players hugging at mid-field. Admittedly, my heart was in my throat until the pigskin sailed through the uprights, anticipating—nay, expecting—something to go awry. My overtly honest sister-in-law echoed my sentiment on Twitter and my cousin (who was on the phone 3,000 miles away during the kick) expressed his inability to feel his arms or legs as the ball was snapped.

We’re Bills fans; we’ve been through this before. While backing into a parking space, I shudder if my wife describes my turn as “wide right.” If the words "miracle," "music" and "city" are used in close proximity in a sentence, I have to fight nausea. Today, I fought off chills as the unshakable Brady hung his head after a fourth interception and Fitzpatrick slung completions on a rope to wide open receivers and tight ends.

For today and all of this week, the Buffalo Bills are 3-0 and sit solely atop the AFC East for the first time since I sat in Mrs. Rutledge’s chemistry class. Chris Berman is once again singing their praises as the Bills circle the wagons, and the national sports landscape is scrambling to learn names like Fred Jackson, Scott Chandler and Jairus Byrd. If they are looking for an interview, they should check the bar at the Ritz.