TUF 8: "They've Stolen Me Lucky Charms!"

No, faithful readers. The beautiful young woman pictured above has absolutely nothing to do with this article. However, one could argue that she obviously does watch what she eats for breakfast, judging from her beautiful body. Most commendable.

When I awoke this morning (actually at 2:24 PM, which today was my morning awakening), and could not find my daily allotment of Oatmeal, I became so enraged I just had to write this article about how seriously young fighter and hugger, John Polaknowski feels when certain unknown fighters removed the marshmallow charms from his daily choice of Lucky Charms breakfast cereal.

Messing with one's own or someone elses's food appears to have become the theme for this contribution to the UFC's reality show, "numero ocho" (I am at times multilingual, when my MS is not messing with my memory and I did have a photographic memory at one time, according to one of my sociology professors who tested his classes for a study he was doing with certain questions on his tests which detected that phenomenon).

Young Mr. Kingsbury's suggestion that John get revenge on these unknown jokesters by rubbing fecal material on each individual "marshmallow charm" in the next box, has assured that I will no longer buy that particular brand ever again for my grandchildren.

I hope someone high up in the FDA takes note on all this food contamination occurring on the UFC show and hands down some legal edict on prohibiting allowing such acts to be televised to prevent the young and innocent viewers of the show from mimicking these atrocious pranks and harming their peers, parents, and siblings, as well as preventing future food tampering in supermarkets.

Consumers need protection from such heinous events in my opinion. Plus, not to mention that I want my own food source pure and protected from such unscrupulous people.

Food tampering may or may not have had an influence in John's consequent loss to George Roop.

More correctly though, since it was Dana who brought it up, the judges were responsible due to a third round not being required to prove who deserved the win after a very even fight which John admitted should never have been left to the judges to determine the winner.

Those darned old judges get it wrong at least 50% of the time, which is not a good endorsement for what goes on in the UFC fights which do end in decisions.

How strange that the judging continues to be such an issue and is yet unresolved. One would think that since there exists such a negative opinion on the judges' decisions, something would have been done about it by now.

Yours truly has written an op-ed regarding the judging in the UFC and wishes that some solution would come forth to settle the issue. What is taking so long anyway?

In conclusion: You can piss in someone else's fruit salad plate and put sperm in your own sushi (knowing full well that someone else is going to be eating it), but do not mess with the cereal that is, as Shane Nelson said quoting the Lucky Leprechaun, "They are magically delicious!" and perhaps as effective in guaranteeing a win in the octagon as the now infamous GSP nipple tweak.

In an unrelated area, Frank Mir mentioned on this episode when discussing his fighter George Roop hyper-flexing his finger by catching it in the cage in practice, "We are not baking cupcakes here!"

My opinion of Frank's remark is that he is jealous that Noguiera's team baked him two birthday cakes and prepared a lovely and varied birthday meal, while his team has made him "squat."

It is simply another jealousy issue of Frank's.