What Each NFL Team Would Like to Tweet to Roger Goodell

We'd all like to tell something to bosses that we aren't bold enough to actually say. So isn't it fun to imagine what teams would say to the commissioner if their immediate thoughts went unfiltered?

Presented here is a list of what each franchise would tell the embattled Roger Goodell via Twitter–all in 140 characters or less, of course.

Arizona Cardinals

When you meet L. Fitz, don't shake either of his hands...they're too valuable to us.

Atlanta Falcons

If you want to know who the future "Face of the NFL" is, just watch our QB.

Baltimore Ravens

We hope you're TV is on the blink when we play that bloodbath against the Steelers.

Buffalo Bills

Just a friendly reminder, we aren't in the CFL.

Carolina Panthers

Proposing a trade in which we give up our games with N.O. and ATL in exchange for games with WAS and San Fran.

Chicago Bears

Our O-line is awful. Please enact more rules to protect the QB...or just make it two-hand touch.

Cincinnati Bengals

Memorize this: "With the first pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select..."

Cleveland Browns

Have you not been coming to visit us because it's too cold or because we've stunk annually?

Dallas Cowboys

Mr. Jones said there's a luxury box at our stadium with your name on it. It costs about your yearly salary, but it's worth it.

Denver Broncos

Is there any way that Tebow can just be a spokesman for the NFL and not on our roster?

Detroit Lions

Suh has set up a direct deposit to your office...$$$ will transfer each Monday a.m.

Green Bay Packers

Get used to meeting us at the Lombardi Trophy presentation.

Houston Texans

This is the year we prove to you that there's a second legitimate team in the AFC South.

Indianapolis Colts

Any chance we can make this lockout last about four-six weeks longer?

Jacksonville Jaguars

Please give us advance notice of movement to L.A. so our players can get jump on the housing market in the area.

Kansas City Chiefs

For your fantasy team, you should take Jamaal Charles No. 1.

Miami Dolphins

Has Favre officially put in his retirement papers yet? We'd like to give him a call around Week 4.

Minnesota Vikings

We assure you that D. McNabb is nothing like Brett Favre...he doesn't even have a camera on his phone.

New England Patriots

We won't cheat this year...we won't cheat this year...we won't cheat this year.

New Orleans Saints

If you're interested in enacting more rules to help the offense, we're all for it.

New York Giants

We're contacting you to request extra roster spots so we can have add some more defensive spots.

New York Jets

I know you're wondering, and the answer is: Yes, Rex Ryan is that insane.

Oakland Raiders

Al still thinks he can get your job. Then again, he also thinks that Jason Campbell is Ken Stabler.

Philadelphia Eagles

Whatever advice you gave Michael Vick two years ago...thanks a lot.

Pittsburgh Steelers

No worries on Harrison problems, he will be wearing a muzzle for the whole season.

San Diego Chargers

Please send someone that can do the Heimlich maneuver for our chocking team around early January.

San Francisco 49ers

So we get a time machine, put Joe Montana in it, he pops out circa 1989. How possible is that?

Seattle Seahawks

I know you probably hated our 7-9 team making the playoffs last year, but we don't care.

St. Louis Rams

How would've you liked Rush at the lockout meetings?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

 When your financial guru calculates our salaries...let him know that it's no misprint, our punter does indeed make that much money.

Tennessee Titans

No salary cap and we would have signed C.J. for twice as much as he's worth.

Washington Redskins

Grossman or Beck for Week 2? Mike Shanahan is tired of flipping coins.