World Football Transfer Window and NFL's Roller-Coaster Offseason

On July 30th, right in the midst of the NFL hammering out the last details of a new deal to end the lockout, commissioner Roger Goodell was very excited about officially turning the calendar to the new league year.

NFL PR maven Greg Aiello tweeted out Commissioner Goodell's unbridled glee:

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RG: "Condensing free agency, rookie signings, trades and camp openings into basically one week is like the best roller-coaster ride ever..

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If starting the NFL calendar with free agency, rookie deals, trades and camp openings is the best roller-coaster the commish has ever ridden, he should pull down the harness on the news flying out of Europe this week.

Compared to Goodell's pre-season roller-coaster ride, footy fans are being taken on a rocket ship to the moon.

Seriously, imagine all the craziness Goodell talked about in his quote and throw that into the first two weeks of the regular season, when games actually matter. The end of the summer transfer window is Space Mountain gone completely off the rails.

At the risk of panicking millions of NFL fans—and fantasy owners—let's throw some names into hypothetical equivalents of what's been going on in Europe as the transfer window is set to close on Wednesday, already three weeks into the English Premier League season, four weeks into the German Bundesliga and a week into La Liga, among the many other European leagues currently under way.

For the heck of it, let's use widely beloved Drew Brees as our American football equivalent to Cesc Fabregas, the former Arsenal captain who had been rumored to favor a move to Barcelona for what felt like 10 years before the deal was finally completed less than two weeks ago.

What if Drew Brees was part of a year-long rumor to leave New Orleans so he could play closer to his hometown? What if the captain of one of the best teams in the league went out on the field week after week, sometimes while injured, and gave his all for the Saints, saying all the right things in the process while rumor after rumor swirled around him going to the Houston Texans?

(Note: To compare Barcelona to the Houston Texans is insane, I know, but I thought comparing Barca to the Dallas Cowboys was, in a way, that much more disrespectful.)

What if, after an offseason where it was a foregone conclusion to Saints fans that Brees was a goner, the quarterback wasn't actually dealt until after Week 1 of the season?! What if the Saints got NOTHING in return for Brees other than money (or in the NFL's case, draft picks) that would not help the team in any way this season because the deal was consummated too late for the Saints to find any suitable replacement on the open market?

What if, at the same time this was happening, the Saints dealt Marques Colston, too, but instead of dealing him outside the conference like Brees, the Saints gave Colston to a team in their own division, all because Colston said he would leave after NEXT season if he wasn't dealt?

And what if the Colston deal followed the Brees deal, also during the regular season? And what if—presumably just to screw with the Texans and, let's say, the Atlanta Falcons—the Saints actually put Brees and Colston on the 53-man roster for opening weekend and told everyone they were going to play?

Fans would revolt.

Well, that's exactly how Arsenal fans are feeling right now. And look, maybe the Saints aren't the best example for Arsenal, considering the Saints have actually won something in the last six years. Maybe Colston isn't the best parallel for Samir Nasri, either, but we could use any team losing two of their best players during the regular season and getting nothing in return but a pile of cash it may very well be too late to use.

Could you imagine if the Patriots dealt Tom Brady and Wes Welker after Week 2? Could you imagine if Welker went to the Jets and immediately caught nine balls for 110 yards and two scores in Week 3?

That's basically what Nasri did for Manchester City this weekend.

Meanwhile, Arsenal lost 8-2 to Nasri's new crosstown rival Manchester United, the American football equivalent of losing 56-14. Watching the match, it felt like United probably could have scored 56 on Arsenal.

Before we get too far along with these hypotheticals, it's important to remember that as much of a roller-coaster ride this NFL offseason has been, it could never be as crazy as international soccer transfer windows, simply because of the way the salary cap is set up in the NFL.

But it's fun to pretend, so let's keep going.

I'm sorry to say, Titans fans, this one has to do with you. Chris Johnson wants quarterback money, which is basically the soccer equivalent of asking for Roman Abramovich money.

Chelsea usually gets what Chelsea wants, and it seems the London side now wants Tottenham international Luka Modric. Modric may not be on the same level in England as Johnson is in the NFL, but imagine if Johnson decided he wasn't going to play the second week of the season, allegedly because someone got in his ear about not getting hurt so he doesn't screw up his eventual trade to the Indianapolis Colts.

Here are comments from Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, per the Daily Mail:

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"[Modric] came to see me at 12pm today, probably 11.30am, and he told me he didn’t feel his head was right. I told him he needed to play. I had injuries in midfield…He’s our main man.

"His head’s been turned. It’s probably been turned again last night. We all know what goes on in the game. Anyone who thinks he’s not being told what’s going on is dreaming. 

"Chelsea... they can come and try to take your best players off you. I needed him to play. I think, at the moment, while he still sees a chink of light to go to Chelsea, he’s probably doing what he’s being told is the best idea to get to Chelsea."

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You want a roller coaster? That is a roller coaster. How would Roger Goodell deal with one of his coaches out and out accusing one of the top teams in the league of tampering? And what would people here say about a player like Johnson asking to sit out, presumably so he doesn't ruin his trade value?

Could you blame a guy if he knew a trade would get him three times more money than he's making right now? Forget about quarterback money. Johnson should be asking for Modric money.

These examples are just the beginning, too. We didn't even get into the Wesley Sneijder whispers between Manchester United and City—and, as rumor has it, Chelsea, if they can't land Modric—with none of the three really needing him.

This would be like the Colts, Patriots and Steelers battling it out to sign Philip Rivers so they could stash him on the bench or play him ahead of a Super Bowl-winning signal-caller they each already have, just because they can afford it.

With NFL rosters being cut down to 80 by Tuesday and 53 by early next week, we're in for some big names ending up on the free-agent market and some tough decisions for NFL teams. It will certainly be another roller-coaster type of week in an already up-and-down NFL preseason.

But when your favorite team cuts that veteran linebacker whose jersey you've been wearing for the last five years, just try to imagine what the average Arsenal fan's closet must look like these days. Forget about roller coasters or rocket ships or any of that. Being an Arsenal fan this week is more like jumping off a bridge without the bungee cord.

That's like a roller coaster that goes straight into the ground and never comes back up. Roger Goodell is certainly happy he doesn't have that.