James Harrison: Stand Up and Applaud Pittsburgh Linebacker for Laying the Steel

Are you ready for some football?!

Of course you are.

And so is Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, who clearly has a ton of pent-up aggression and testosterone since the current NFL lockout forced him into a hard-hitting and bone-crushing recession. Sometimes, the hit stick and screen-shaking in Madden just doesn’t get it.

Harrison has been one of the most outspoken NFL stars in recent memory. He showed his disdain for Roger Goodell and the NFL’s softer stance on hitting during the 2010 season. He even threatened to retire.

I’m glad he didn’t, and you should be glad too, because he just put down the most entertaining moment in this entire lockout—and there have been a lot of highly entertaining moments.

According to The Washington Post:

"

Heavily fined Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison calls NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell a "crook" and a "devil," among other insults, in a magazine article…

"If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it," Harrison told the magazine. "I hate him and will never respect him."

His other descriptions of the commissioner include an anti-gay slur, "stupid," "puppet" and "dictator." If the Steelers had defeated the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl, Harrison said, he would have whispered in Goodell’s ear during the trophy ceremony: "Why don’t you quit and do something else, like start your own league in flag football?"

Harrison also criticizes other NFL execs, Patriots-turned-commentators Rodney Harrison and Tedy Bruschi ("clowns"), Houston’s Brian Cushing ("juiced out of his mind")—and even teammates Rashard Mendenhall and Ben Roethlisberger for their performances in the Super Bowl loss.

Harrison calls the running back a "fumble machine" for his fourth-quarter turnover….

Of the quarterback’s two interceptions, Harrison says: "Hey, at least throw a pick on their side of the field instead of asking the D to bail you out again. Or hand the ball off and stop trying to act like Peyton Manning. You ain’t that and you know it, man; you just get paid like he does." 

"

My mind is officially blown.

It took awhile to recuperate from those comments, but I’m finally okay.

All that’s left is to just stand up and applaud Hit Man Harrison.

He is simply telling it how he sees it.

Sure, it could be because he has some brain damage of his own from voluntarily head hunting unsuspecting ball carriers, but to each his own.

And sure, he’s probably punched himself a one-way ticket out of Pittsburgh.

But who cares about any of that?

You just have to love these epic controversial comments. All we care about right now is what’s swirling around in the mind of the most vicious and fearless defensive stud in the game today. This is a man with absolutely no remorse whatsoever.

Who wouldn’t love to see Harrison rip Goodell to pieces inside a steel cage match? He is an unforgiving and merciless human being who would prefer not to say anything and just lay waste to anybody and everybody on the football field.

Goodell unleashed this unforgiving monster by repeatedly fining him for playing the game he loves. He is one of the hardest hitting behemoths in the game today.

Which game is this exactly? Are we playing soccer?

No.

We’re playing football—the sport that closely resembles an all-out war. This is the sport where we see gladiators compete on the gridiron. Everything about the sport speaks to Harrison, and now Harrison is speaking out against those he feels is taking away from it.

Is Big Ben a winning quarterback? Yes. Is he nearly as talented as the Manning’s, Tom Brady’s and Aaron Rodgers’ of the NFL? No.

Did he and Santonio Holmes bail out Harrison’s defense in the Super Bowl three years ago against the Arizona Cardinals? Harrison doesn’t care. He was responsible for arguably the greatest defensive play in Super Bowl history with his interception return for a touchdown.

The best part is that nobody would really want to say anything against Harrison. What is Big Ben going to say? Come on. Harrison will sniff him out and demolish him on the practice field. He’ll make him eat his red jersey.

It’s going to be a lot of fun to see how Goodell responds to this. Maybe Harrison is trying to get himself fined, suspended or even ousted from the NFL. Maybe he wants to pursue a carrier in bounty hunting. He’d be perfect. He would eat Dog the Bounty Hunter alive and spit out his bones. Nobody would be able to escape the wrath of the Hit Man.

Goodell better watch himself if he decides to take serious action—he’s No. 1 on Harrison’s hit list. He won’t be able to hide from Harrison forever.

It’s time for Harrison to run the gauntlet. Throw him on the field against Big Ben, Mendenhall, Bruschi, Harrison and Cushing. Let them all have a whack and try to take out this menacing beast of a man—they’ll all fall short from this inhumane monster.

Harrison let it all hang out in the single greatest rant in the history of rants.

We all want brutal honesty from our professional athletes. Well, here you go, folks.

Don’t bash the man for his comments, embrace them. Applaud him for having the guts to tell it like he sees it. Unlike the other cowards of this league who step on eggshells and bite their tongues to be politically correct, Harrison could not care less what the media thinks of him.

I want more of this. I want more of the Osi Umenyiora-Justin Tuck-LeSean McCoy back-and-forth action. I want more of the Ray Rice-Ryan Clark beef.

Give me the goods! This is football for crying out loud!

Harrison may be to the extreme by taking his anger out on his teammates, but so be it. Let him call out his teammates to inspire them to play better. Teammates shouldn’t be reserved to criticism.  

I want more from the Hit Man. I want more rants, player bashing and bone-crunching hits—as long as it’s not my head he’s hunting, of course. Surely this won’t be the last we hear from him, but we may very well have seen the last of him on the football field with these tell-all comments.