Turn the NFL's Bad Boys into a Reality Hit

I think too much about the NFL. Sometimes this narrow focus causes me to fantasize about preposterous things that could never happen.

Today I'll provide you an example.

I'd like to see commissioner Roger Goodell turn the league's "discipline problem" into an off-season, reality-TV show that would crush the ratings of "American Idol" and a Paris Palin-Denzel Obama debate/romantic comedy.

Think about it. NFL players' inability to avoid off-the-field trouble has transformed the commissioner's job from being primarily about negotiating television contracts and labor agreements to presiding over the People's Court.

Goodell's legacy as czar of America's pastime is tied to whatever level of success he has in weeding the Pacman Joneses out of the league or getting them to repent and behave. Goodell is a combination of judge, warden, probation officer, and therapist.

Why not add executive producer of a smash-hit, reality-TV show tentatively titled, "Arbitration Court?"

Hear me out. The league has a television network that desperately needs a ratings driver. Its collective bargaining agreement with the players association is about to be voided by the owners. It's in the best interest of ownership and players to increase revenue by any means necessary. The commissioner needs a tool to reward players for good behavior and punish players for bad behavior. Major League Baseball has an arbitration system.

A cutting-edge, entrepreneurial visionary would find a way to turn a negative into a positive.

Why allow Pacman Jones to damage the image of the league without turning a buck off of his strip club escapades?

Watching Pacman, his agent, a lawyer, and his posse march into a courtroom setting and try to salvage his contract would be the kind of must-see, off-season TV that would make the Nielsen-ratings machine blow smoke.

Here's how it would work:

At the end of the season, each NFL team would be allowed to recommend two players be sentenced to off-season Arbitration Court. A team could charge one player with a felony, seek to have his entire contract voided, a return of the unearned, pro-rated portions of his signing bonus, and a one-year ban from the league. In essence, this would be the Pacman-Michael Vick scenario.

A second player could be charged with a misdemeanor, and the team would seek to have his following-year compensation reduced. This would be the Plaxico Burress-Chad Johnson scenario (or a healthy free-agent signee who stunk). They're just garden-variety idiots/locker-room cancers.

Now, on the flipside, for every player the team hauls to Arbitration Court (and the maximum would be two per year), the players on that team would be granted the right to recommend a player go to court to have his compensation drastically improved. The players would make the recommendations by team vote. They could nominate one player to get a whole new contract and another player to get a one-time bonus.

The felony cases would be argued in front of a seven-man jury consisting of current and former players and coaches and would require a 5-2 vote for victory. A three-man jury would hear the misdemeanors and a 2-1 split would prevail.

The cases would be tried and aired in March before the draft, eight teams per week. Misdemeanor trials would last four hours of evidence presentation, 30 minutes for closing arguments and 30 minutes for juries to deliberate and vote. The felony cases could stretch over two days.

The NFL Network could broadcast the proceedings live and jump from case to case.

I know this sounds crazy, but just imagine the ratings. Dream with me. It's March 2006 and Vikings management is smoking hot and wants revenge for the embarrassment of the Sex Boat Scandal. Fred Smoot Doggy Dogg is charged with the heinous felony of groping multiple strippers while operating a yacht. The prosecution's first witness is Destiny, a thick, platinum blonde nursing student from a tiny, mobile-home suburb just outside of St. Paul.

What would you watch, a first-round NCAA Tournament game between North Carolina and Jackson State or Destiny's riveting account of the whereabouts of Smoot Doggy Dogg's paws on the afternoon in question?

Come on, this is television gold.

NFL players would love it. Their biggest complaint is that they're not as recognizable and marketable as NBA players. The reason they concoct all of the over-the-top, on-field celebrations and gyrations is to increase their star power.

Many of them have their agents constantly hunting down TV deals. The league would be wise to create its own reality show and turn a profit off the Flavor Flav wannabes.

You can e-mail Jason Whitlock at [e-mail].

This article originally published on FOXSports.com.

To read more of Jason's columns, click here.