Saints Disgrace Renowned Steroids Company With Bad Play

As many as 10 NFL players are under investigation by the NFL for failing a drug test last week for a steroids concealing substance. Many of them are from the Saints, an organization in New Orleans, home to popular steroids brand Strongmen. When news of the Saints players having taken the steroids hit the public, stock in the company immediately took a dive due to the seeming ineffectiveness of the product on a team that is in last place in its division. But CEO Bart Wallace was quick to point out that their steroids products were as effective as ever.

“When you buy a Strongmen product, you are getting the same quality steroids you’ve gotten for the past 85 years,” said Wallace. “When my grandfather was but a poor immigrant, making steroids in his small cottage from the family recipe he brought over from Europe, he was dedicated to quality. We helped make the first 200 pound offensive lineman back in 1927, and we continue that historic tradition of innovation to this day. Strongmen products are made with only the finest all-natural ingredients, and I trust them enough to give them to my 8-month old son every day. He’s been on a blend of our Muscle Milk 2000 and our Bicep Blast Cream since he was born. If I trust it with my family, you can trust it with yours.”

Sales of Strongmen steroids have gone down considerably since the news came out the Saints runningback Deuce McAllister was taking them, and he has failed to make any big plays so far this season.

“Look, we don’t guarantee any on the field results with our products,” continued Wallace. “What we say is that you will get abnormally large arms, a gigantic head, and your balls will shrink to not what we’d call small, but what we’d like to refer to as a much more manageable size. That’s been our company’s promise for the past century, or we’ll give you back the money that you exchanged in an alley with a shady physical trainer.”

Possibly Related Posts:

• McAllister deserves benefit of doubt
• New Orleans Saints cut kicker and punter
• Mortensen: Saints players to fight suspensions, might win
• Chargers sack defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell, elevate former Bears LB Ron Rivera
• New Orleans Saints Payton reflects on London, first half of season