5 Athletes Whose Books Would Be More Boring Than Tim Tebow's

As you have no doubt already heard, Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow released a book this week.

If you weren't aware of that, the book is called Though My Eyes, and Tebow co-authored it alongside Nathan Whitaker.

I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but the idea of Tebow releasing a biography at this stage of his life struck me as a little odd. After all, for as much as Tebow has accomplished, he is still just 23 years old. How interesting could his book possibly be?

Apparently, not very. In a detailed review of Tebow's book, Lindsay H. Jones of the Denver Post described it as a "257-page love letter" to "God, his family and Florida football."

Well, I guess that would be a fun read if you're into that kind of thing. As for me, I guess it suffices to say that I'm not. In fact, Through My Eyes sounds pretty freakin' boring.

On the bright side, it could be worse. I know this because I got to thinking about books from other athletes that might be even more boring than Tebow's.

For your reading pleasure, I managed to narrow the list down to five.

5. Matt Cain

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SCOTTSDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY 23: SCOTTSDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY Matt Cain #18of the San Francisco Giants poses for a portrait during media photo day at Scottsdale Stadium on February 23, 2011 in Scottsdale, Arizona. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

The San Francisco Giants definitely have their share of characters, no doubt about that.

Walk into the Giants' clubhouse, and in one corner you'll find Tim Lincecum, the long-haired, F-bomb-dropping, Mother Nature-loving hurler who has two Cy Young awards and a handful of NL strikeout crowns to his credit.

In another corner, you have Brian Wilson, the closer with the epic beard and an equally epic sense of humor. Next to him is Pablo Sandoval, the happy-go-lucky third baseman that we all know and love as "Kung Fu Panda." Next to him is first baseman Aubrey Huff, he of the red thong and Transformers tattoos.

Somewhere else in the room is Matt Cain. Some think he's the best pitcher on the Giants, which automatically makes him one of the best pitchers in the National League. But while the rest of his teammates are busy doing silly things for the sake of doing silly things, Cain will probably just be minding his own business.

If you're lucky, maybe you'll find him writing his book. In all likelihood, it will be brief:

"

Unlike most of my teammates, I'm not weird. But that's cool. We get along okay.

"

If you were hoping for more about Huff's thong or Wilson's beard, that would be quite the letdown.

4. Jimmie Johnson

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CHARLOTTE, NC - MAY 28: Jimmie Johnson, driver of the #48 Lowe's Summer Salute Chevrolet, sits in his car during practice for the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway on May 28, 2011 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by

Personally, I've never been a huge fan of NASCAR, but even from afar it's difficult to ignore the essential drama of the sport. In addition to what goes down on the track, it seems like there are always plenty of driver feuds to go around; and there is certainly no shortage of trash talk.

Then there's Jimmie Johnson. He doesn't do much talking or feuding. He just wins, and he's pretty good at it. Five straight Sprint Cup championships all there is to say.

On balance, that's all you really need to know about Johnson, too. He's a quiet man who goes about his business. The good news is that this makes it hard to hate him. The bad news is that it makes it hard to like him as well.

If Johnson ever got the urge to write a book, it would probably go a little something like this:

"

I'm Jimmie Johnson. I won that last race, and then I won the race after that. At the end of the season, I won the championship. Any questions?

"

Ummm...no, actually.

3. Phil Mickelson

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PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL - MAY 14: Phil Mickelson watches his tee shot on the sixth hole during the third round of THE PLAYERS Championship held at THE PLAYERS Stadium course at TPC Sawgrass on May 14, 2011 in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehr

As far as sports go, golf is a weird one. Everyone loves (and hates) to play it, but it's not exactly the most television-friendly sport in existence.

This has a lot to do with the fact that all the hype and general hoopla that surrounds sports like football, basketball, and NASCAR just don't apply to golf. It's a gentlemen's game, and gentlemen do not specialize in flashy spectacles, thank you very much.

For example, take a moment of your time to appreciate Phil Mickelson. He's been on the PGA Tour for nearly 20 years now, and he's been a model citizen every step of the way. In that time, he's won four majors.

Yup, he's a classy one. But I'm just not so sure if his book would be much of a page-turner.

Here's a sample excerpt:

"

I've played golf my whole life. I swing left-handed. People used to make fun of me for not being able to win a major, but I proved them wrong. That's about it.

"

If his book was sitting on the shelf next to John Daly's or Tiger Woods', I'm thinking I would probably pass.

2. Eli Manning

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 19: Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants walks off the field dejected after losing to the Philadelphia Eagles 38-31 on December 19, 2010 at The New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Al Bello/

When it comes to the Manning brothers, Peyton is one of the great quarterbacks in NFL history. And he also just so happens to be one of the more marketable players the league has ever known.

Eli, on the other hand, just kinda is. Take away his improbable 2008 Super Bowl performance, and his career resume is pretty bland.

That would be fitting, of course, as Eli himself is pretty bland. Sure, he's done commercials and the like; but none of them hold a candle to his older brother's extracurricular antics.

If he was so inclined, Eli probably has a book in him. In it, he just might reveal what it's like to be in Peyton's shadow all the time:

"

You all know me. I'm Eli Manning, Peyton Manning's younger brother. I've been in his shadow my whole life. If you want to know what that's like, I'll tell you: it's like being in a really, really big shadow.

"

You don't say...

1. Tim Duncan

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SAN ANTONIO, TX - APRIL 27: Tim Duncan #21 of the San Antionio Spurs looks on against the Memphis Grizzlies in Game Five of the Western Conference Quarterfinals in the 2011 NBA Playoffs on April 27, 2011 at AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas. NOTE TO USER

The San Antonio Spurs selected Tim Duncan first overall in the 1997 NBA Draft, and he has gone on to have one of the most decorated careers in NBA history.

To date, Duncan has won four championships and two Most Valuable Player awards. He also has a Rookie of the Year award, three NBA Finals MVPs and 13 All-Star selections to his credit.

The amazing thing about Duncan is that he has achieved his greatness without the help of a personality. He is one of the least colorful athletes to ever put on a uniform, which makes him a pretty notable exception as far as contemporary NBA players go.

When Duncan decides to hang 'em up for good, he's going to have all the time in the world to pen a book if he so chooses.

With a little help from my imagination, here's something you might read in Duncan's book:

"

So we won that game, and I did pretty well. We lost the next game, so coach told me to work on my fundamentals some more. I did, and I got pretty good. Then I went to college and did pretty well there. Then I went to the NBA and I did pretty well there, too. Next thing I knew, I was in the Hall of Fame. I've had a fun life.

"

It would go on in this fashion for a couple hundred pages. You would be begging for a copy of Through My Eyes before reaching the end.