Evander Holyfield to Fight Brian Nielsen (Instead of Retiring to Del Boca Vista)

Former four-time heavyweight champion Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield will fight Denmark’s Brian Nielsen Saturday night at a concert hall in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Holyfield (43-10-2, 28 KOs), also a past cruiser-weight titlist who captured a bronze medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, was initially slated to battle Nielsen (64-2, 43 KOs) on March 5.

The bout was postponed after “The Real Deal” suffered a cut above his left eye in a January 22nd scrap with the immortal Sherman Williams.

Holyfield is clearly crazy, as he maintains that he will again become the undisputed king of the heavyweight division before he mercifully hangs-up his gloves.

“If I win, I am moving to the next level," said Holyfield, 48, to SportsIllustrated.CNN.com Monday. “I am hoping to get a championship bout with other guys with other belts.”

Holyfield had the audacity to compare his current feeble abilities to the profound skills he possessed during the prime of his career.

"Back then when I was young, I made a lot mistakes but I had the stamina and all that to overcome,” said Holyfield. He obviously doesn't remember how good he once was at age 28 when he defeated James “Buster” Douglas by a third-round knockout to capture the IBF, WBA and WBC heavyweight crowns in October 1990.

“Today, you have less stamina but more focus. Either way you go, if you play with what you have, you win.''

"The Real Deal” is a warrior and he deserves to be remembered as the legendary pugilist he was in his heyday.

Pathetically, Holyfield is now old enough to move into Del Boca Vista and he needs to immediately retire.

“Evander is a classic case of not letting go,” said Ed LaVache, the owner of the Boston Boxing Club in Allston. “For a lot of these guys, boxing is all they know and it’s the only way for them to make money. So, they keep fighting until the fight is lost in them.”

Holyfield, who has long been a rumored abuser of performance enhancing drugs, was banned in August 2005 by the New York State Athletic Commission due to his “diminishing skills.”

Sadly, boxing is a rogue business and money is an even more sinister element in pugilism than it is in other sports.

Hence, Holyfield is still enabled to enter the ring.

A loss to Nielsen will only further tarnish Holyfield’s once glittering resume.

Embarrassingly, at 46, the Dane is not exactly a spring chicken himself.

"It's two old boxers meeting. We are getting older, there's no doubt about that,” said Nielsen, who lost to “Iron” Mike Tyson in October 2001. "I have fought 200 fights and I have never been knocked out, so why should that happen now?''

Neither Holyfield nor Nielsen will be knocked onto Queer Street this weekend.

Instead, the two geriatrics will likely just collapse to the canvas in the first round due to chronic exhaustion and a no-contest will thankfully be declared.