Swami Sez: Time for ESPN to Show Chris Berman the Door

"Back, back, back, back, back, back, GONE!"

 
That's what Chris Berman should be saying to his career right now.  He should meekly tip-toe back out of the studio, say "Adios" to Tom Jackson and friends, and call it a night.  ESPN needs to rein in their former star or cut him loose all together.

It wasn't always this way with the Swami.  Berman was a leader for ESPN from its birth thanks to his affable personality and energetic delivery.  Some may say he was at his best in the 90's when hosting NFL Primetime every Sunday evening.  Who doesn't remember the chants of "Priiiiiimetime, Priiiiiimetime" during a Deion Sanders return? Or the classic "and he... could... go... all...the... way" call?  I grew up loving Berman and looked forward to those Sunday evenings with Chris and TJ.  It was even a treat when he would host SportsCenter at times and carry over his witty catchphrases to other sports.

What has changed?  To start with, the man has forgotten how to count to ten.  His weekly 'Top 10 Plays of the Week' is probably the only top 10 in history to include 25 or more highlights.  His 'Swami' picks have become nothing more than a two-minute excuse for Berman to show clips from the 1980's of him and Dan Marino discussing their next fish fry, or something equally idiotic.  Sunday night Primetime no longer exists, but he still uses the 'Blitz' to give every football player with a noun for a last name a nickname along the lines of Ricky 'Running' Watters.  

And, unfortunately, his shtick isn't confined to football.  He is still inexplicably allowed to continue to call the Home Run Derby, despite having said enough back-back-back-gones for three lifetimes.  Sometimes being gone isn't enough... the home run actually ends up in some city in a neighboring state, if you take the Swami's word for it.    

Quite simply, Berman has taken the act farther than it should have ever gone.

Maturation also plays a part in Berman's demise.  I, for one, have moved beyond the stage in life where I gleefully clap my hands together while sitting on the floor watching Barney.  Similarly, ESPN has matured into a worldwide network.  The organization no longer needs a cheerleader to make a lot of noise in order to draw attention to a fledgling station. 

While catchphrases and comedy still remain quite popular on SportsCenter and other ESPN offerings, Berman is now like a clown among comedians.  Dan Patrick, the prince of ESPN, has allowed himself to move on.  Once the innovator and entertainer, Patrick is now a respected journalist with a radio talk show to boot.  While Patrick is gaining esteem in the industry and modeling himself after Bob Costas, Berman is only a Pat Summerall sidekick away from becoming John Madden.

Chris Berman may still have time to leverage the public's goodwill and his contacts in the industry to set himself on a better path.  However, if ESPN allows Berman to continue with his self-destructive ways, they will find themselves with a Keith Jackson-Robin Williams hybrid hosting 'The Blitz.'

Not even the secret ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II could create a monster as scary as that.