Random Thoughts While Trying Not to Look at John McCain in HD

A few random thoughts while trying to avoid looking at John McCain in HD...

-- Is it just me, or is Caol Uno the ugliest woman in MMA?

-- If Marcus Camby and Kenyon Martin ran head-on into each other, would they both just explode?

-- It's almost been four months now, but I still miss George Carlin. He had a profound impact on my life and sense of humor. I loved that guy.

-- I loved watching "Pineapple Express" where, in the very opening scene, there's James Remar with an eye patch! That's right, a James Remar sighting! A classic "That Guy." He was awesome in "48 Hours" and "The Warriors." I love random movie moments like that.  Anyway, funny movie. Although it's probably overrated because the current crop of "comedies" has been so atrocious.

-- Wait a second...Jacoby Ellsbury is WHITE?

-- I can't take Mike Swick seriously. I just can't. He's like the Kyle Orton of the UFC—no arm strength, favorable matchups, very little talent...yet, somehow, he keeps winning. The UFC's recent announcement that he'll be taking on Jonathan Goulet only makes my case stronger (wow! Swick vs. Goulet! The fans have been asking for this one for years!). That killed me. The Swick-Marcus Davis fight was the most befuddling 15 minutes I've spent as an MMA fan.

-- Does Christiane "Cyborg" Santos look exactly like Fernando Vargas or am I crazy?

-- 31-84. No, those aren't the Lions rushing stats for last Sanday. That was their record over the Matt Millen Era. This was like the Massacre at Wounded Knee, only if it happened every day for seven years. In '02, he drafted John Joseph Harrington third overall. He took Andre Goodman in the third round. In '03, he outdid himself by picking Charles Rogers second overall. He signed Lamont Warren for more than $12 an hour. He plucked Mike Williams 10th overall in '05. He gave $16.5 million to Az Hakim. The Lions went 8-50 on the road during his tenure. I could go on all day. Other than that, he was a great GM.

-- Just had to give kudos to Gus Johnson for his orgasmic call on the Petruzelli-Kimbo fight. "It's about to get serious. Oh! Slice in trouble! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY IS HERE!!! SETH PETRUZELLI!!!!!" He just kept going. His head almost exploded. He also left absolutely no room for Mauro "Raising the Bar For Hyperbole" Ranallo to say a freaking thing. He was basically stating, "Listen good, Rick Moranis, I GOT this call, and I swear if you say anything—repeat, ANYTHING—to steal this moment away from me and MMA fans, I WILL TAKE YOUR THESAURUS AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!!!"

-- Has there ever been a worse in-ring announcer than Bruce Buffer? Every UFC, I miss the PRIDE guys even more. Nobody did it better. "Sakurabaaaaaa KAZUUUUUUUUUUSHI!!!!!!" 

-- And lastly, lets hope and pray that the upcoming UFC video game will be everything we could have wanted and then some. Keep your fingers crossed.