Tom Brady and 10 Other Careers NFL Players Could Pursue During Lockout
The NFL lockout is affecting everybody, and it’s starting to look like we may not even be able to have a season in 2011.
As fans and relatively normal people our lives will undoubtedly have to move on, but the players may not be so lucky.
They will be out of jobs with nothing to do, and eventually those millions of dollars might run out.
With that in mind let’s take a look at a few careers that Tom Brady and 10 other players might consider pursuing during the lockout:
10. Ndamukong Suh: Chiropractor
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Whenever I think of Ndamukong Suh I cannot help but think about one of the first times I saw him play during the preseason.
It was just a friendly preseason matchup between the Detroit Lions and the Cleveland Browns, so nobody was expecting much.
Suh apparently didn’t realize that it was the preseason, but more than likely he just didn’t care.
Browns quarterback, Jake Delhomme, was just trying to get a few snaps in to loosen up the old arm when all of a sudden Suh broke through the line, literally picked Delhomme up, turned him upside down, and dropped him on his head.
It was unreal and, quite frankly, it was awesome.
During the season Suh took it upon himself to rearrange Jay Cutler’s spine with a forearm shiver to the back of the head, and he also did some work on Marion Barbers neck via his hair.
If this lockout holds up I’m pretty sure that Ndamukong Suh would be a great chiropractor. He’ll rearrange your bone structure in a heartbeat.
9. Aaron Rodgers: Pro Wrestler
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Aaron Rodgers spent the whole 2010 season in pursuit of one thing: The Belt.
Sure, he now has a shiny Super Bowl ring and a Super Bowl MVP to go along with it, but I’m pretty sure that the championship belt was the apple of Rodgers eye.
It started off very discreetly, almost as if it was an inside joke.
He would make a big play or the Packers would score a touchdown, and Rodgers would make the motion as if he were dawning a championship wrestling belt.
After a little while it caught on all throughout the roster and Packers nation, and the legend of “The Belt” was born.
Rodgers would have a chance to go after another belt if the NFL stayed locked out.
Teammate, Clay Matthews, made an appearance at a professional wrestling event, and I’m sure that he can get Rodgers in the circuit.
Aaron “The Belt” Rodgers!
It has a ring to it.
8. Ray Lewis: Parole Officer
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Ray Lewis knows a thing or two about life after prison.
If he can’t play football I think that this would be a perfect job for him, and a few other players in the NFL; a few too many.
Lewis was able to avoid murder charges against him by testifying against the other suspects involved in the apparent stabbing of two men in Atlanta, but he still had to spend time on probation.
He also had to deal with the court of public opinion.
Lewis bounced back and salvaged his career, and he will be looked back on as one of the best linebackers that the NFL has ever seen.
He would also be a great parole officer.
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7. Jay Cutler: X-Ray Technician
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Remember when pretty much the whole city of Chicago wanted to destroy Jay Cutler after the Bears lost to the Packers in the NFC Championship game this year?
Cutler went down in the first half with what was claimed to be an MCL sprain, but to me it looked more like a cut on his elbow.
The Bears went on to lose the game, and Jay Cutler went on to be the most criticized man in professional sports for a period of time.
Fellow NFL players criticized his toughness, and to be fair he didn’t help his cause by walking around on the sideline after he was pulled.
All Cutler has to do is go back to school for a little while to learn the finer points of taking and reading x-rays.
The next time something happens where his toughness is questioned all he would have to do is jump onto the machine, zap himself real quick, and hold it up to the light.
Problem solved.
6. Brian Cushing: Personal Trainer
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Brain Cushing knows a thing or two about getting real big real quick, and he would be the perfect fit for a personal trainer.
Do you need to get in shape and put on some muscle before beach season?
If so, look no further than Cushing’s Personal Training School for the quick solution to all of your weight training problems!
Brain will get you pumped up and ready to go in what seems like minutes! No dieting or working out necessary!
Just results.
Sign up now and we’ll even throw in an exclusive DVD with special guest Shawne Merriman!
Note: If you don’t get the joke by now go to Google and type in one of their names.
5. Chad Ochocinco: Comedian
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Anybody who actually changes their last name to the Spanish version of their jersey number is either one of two things: Crazy or brilliantly funny.
I’d give Chad the benefit of the doubt here and say that he is mostly the second option, but you can’t be that ridiculous without being at least a little bit crazy.
Ochocinco became famous for his on the field antics and celebrations, and he stepped it up a notch with his off the field productions.
He’s trying to work his way up the ladder of reality TV superstardom, and to be honest his shows are very entertaining.
Put a microphone in this guys hand and throw him up on a stage. I can all but guarantee you that he will have people laughing within 20 seconds of being up there.
All he would need to do is read some of his tweets.
4. Terrell Owens: Soap Star
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It would be unfair to put Ochocinco on this list and not find a similar job for his good buddy T.O.
Owens has been a natural thespian since the day that he entered the league, and he is always looking to put on a show for the people.
Be it his creative and sometimes controversial touchdown celebrations, or his dramatic breakups with teams, T.O always finds a way to make things interesting.
He would play the part of a brooding ex-lover tremendously on one of those ridiculous day time TV soap operas. We know he’s got the crying down!
He would also be a hit with all the old ladies who happen to enjoy that crap.
Get out the popcorn!
3. Ben Roethlisberger: Couples Therapist
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This slide will be dripping with sarcasm, so it’s good for you to be aware of that fact before we move on.
Ben Roethlisberger would be a great couples therapist.
Are you having problems within your relationship?
Are you tired of fighting with your significant other, or do you just feel that there is a general lack of respect between the two of you?
Look no further than Roethlisberger’s Couples Counseling Dojo for the help that your relationship needs!
Ben will teach you and your partner the finer points of love, mutual respect, and getting away with two separate instances of rape allegations by using your money, and or star status to sway officials.
2. Michael Vick: Dog Walker
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There is nobody in the world that I would trust more with my dog than Michael Vick.
You may think I’m kidding, but let’s think about it for a second.
If Vick is seen even looking at a dog the wrong way he could find himself in even hotter water than he was swimming in before he fixed up his life!
He would be the most respectful and patient dog walker that you could ever want to hire!
1. Tom Brady: Politician
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Tom Brady is the NFL’s ultimate pretty boy.
He’s got his long locks of love, his perfect white teeth, and a supermodel girlfriend.
He’s also great with the media, good with public relations, and knows how to get an endorsement or two, or three.
He’s also a winner, the kind of winner that only Charlie Sheen would be able to comprehend.
Tom Brady is always winning.
Put this guy in a suit and give him some kind of agenda to lobby for and I guarantee you that he could at the very least be the governor of Massachusetts.
Heck, let’s take it up a notch or two and get him running for President.
Brady-Sheen 2012. "We’re Bi-Winning!"
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