Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko Are Destroying the Heavyweight Division—Literally

The heavyweight division was on display last weekend. To paraphrase the now-famous rant by the former head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, Denny Green: it is what we thought it was.

When Odlanier Solis fell backwards to the canvas after a mere glancing blow to the temple from Vitali Klitschko, as viewers we were offered an exquisite visual analogy for the once glamour division of the sport. That is the heavyweight division at its finest, I suppose, but it was another pathetic letdown.

Not that anyone really expected much from Solis, but I had hoped for a surprise. I may have even fooled myself into thinking that up until that point—that dubious ending—I liked what Solis was doing. Desperation had obviously set in.

There is no hope and it’s all because of the Klitschkos. They may go down in history as the tandem executioners of the division. It’s not completely their fault, as they have minimal options. In fact, they fight everyone there is to fight, except each other.

Talk about a super fight that would never happen, and who can blame them? Surely, they don’t want to fight the person whom each probably loves most in the world, even though I’m sure as brothers they’ve fought many, many times. Hell, I’d fight my brother for a whole lot less than what they’d be making and I love my brother. He is probably the person I’ve been closest to in my life and for $20 million dollars I would try to beat him like he stole something from me or talked badly about our mother.

And he’d be okay with it, too, because if we were the Klitschkos, he’d be making $20 million to fight me.

Allow me to diverge. In somewhat good news, the Klitschkos now sign contracts as one.  Meaning if Wladimir can’t fight, then Vitali will and vice-versa. So in some form or another, we’ll see Wlatali or Vitamir (like Bennifer or Brangelina) take on David Haye and/or Tomasz Adamek. Both Haye and Adamek have agreed to that kind of contract and those are the best fights that can be made.

Neither one has much more promise than any of the opponents who have faced either Klitschko since Lennox Lewis turned Vitali’s face into ground meat. Both Adamek and Haye have their place and a fight between them would probably be great. But with the way things are, they both face an uphill battle.

Both fighters have movement, which is probably necessary to give the brothers problems. Yet movement alone isn’t enough. Both men are former cruiser-weights and have been on the canvas from punches by men much smaller than Wladimir and Vitali. There is another thing that both Adamek and Haye are lacking: an outspoken trainer.

Either or both of their trainers need to be in the media right now questioning how it is the brothers get away with their illegal tactics. They need to tell anyone who will listen about this. Every time there is a press conference or media opportunity, these corner men need to start working the referees right now because both of the brothers do the same thing. It’s Klitschko 101, as I call it.

They both keep their left arms out under the guise of being a jab, thus acting as a barrier. Then, when their opponents get frustrated and lunge forward, they clinch. Sticking your arm out as a range finder is unquestionably illegal and repeated holding is also illegal. But I have never, ever seen a referee stop this range-finding or the excessive clinching. 

Most of their fights are in Germany—and maybe this has something to do with it. Maybe not, but surely this has a psychological effect on their opponents as well. Rules aren’t enforced and they’re forced to sit at the end of the Klitschko’s punches with no way of getting inside of them. It’s no wonder that all of their opponents end up against the ropes: getting worn down, eventually giving up or getting knocked out.

Yet we can’t ignored that there's not much competition. Better men probably would find a way to get at them. But still, both Wladimir and Vitali are doctors—as folks are fond of saying. Yeah, they’re doctors alright. They’re the doctors of death and they’re killing the heavyweight division, one stiff arm and one clinch at a time.