2010-11 NHL All-Name Teams

One thing I have noticed as a hockey fan is that there are some weird, wacky and wonderful names that fill up the NHL rosters. 

I have looked up and down these team rosters, and narrowed them down to the best names from around the league. Sure, there are some names that you think should belong on this list, but there were some I choose to omit due to commonality and recognition.

Others have been left out of this because there was simply nothing to write about other than their excellent play, which has nothing to do with their names. Or does it?

I have thought about this long and hard, so I present to you the 2010-2011 first, second and third all-name teams. Enjoy!

First Team: Zenon Konopka, Center, New York Islanders

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

UNIONDALE, NY - MARCH 02: Zenon Konopka #28 of the New York Islanders argues a penalty call in his game against the Minnesota Wild at the Nassau Coliseum on March 2, 2011 in Uniondale, New York. The Islanders defeated the Wild 4-1. (Photo by Bruce Bennet

Not only is this one of the NHL’s most interesting names, he also has one of the NHL’s best nicknames: "Supergoon." Pretty self-explanatory as to how he got that one.

Konopka sounds like it could be served alongside a knish (pronounced ka-nish).

I’m sure Konopka was flattered when Disney made the ‘Zenon’ movie series, about a mischievous teenage girl in space. We can only speculate to the sort of insults he’s received after the release of those movies.

What’s even weirder is that he’s not from an eastern European country. He hails from Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

First Team: Cal Clutterbuck, Right Wing, Minnesota Wild

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

UNIONDALE, NY - MARCH 02: Cal Clutterbuck #22 of the Minnesota Wild skates against the New York Islanders at the Nassau Coliseum on March 2, 2011 in Uniondale, New York. The Islanders defeated the Wild 4-1. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

What a wonderful name his parents gave him: Calvin Clutterbuck. What’s even funnier is that he also goes by C.C. Buck, which could easily have been a 70’s adult film star’s name, male or female for that matter.

Clutterbuck rolls off the tongue as sweetly as buttercup. Clutterbuck isn’t known throughout the NHL for his sweetness; he has garnered a bad-guy reputation almost as bad as Matt Cooke’s.

How in the world did his ancestors derive the last name Clutterbuck, anyway? What makes Cal Clutterbuck’s name even better is saying it with a thick Southern or Canadian accent.

First Team: Tuomo Ruutu, Left Wing, Carolina Hurricanes

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

NEWARK, NJ - APRIL 15: Tuomo Ruutu #15 of the Carolina Hurricanes skates against the New Jersey Devils during game one of the 2009 NHL Eastern Conference Quarterfinals at Prudential Center on April 15, 2009 in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/G

Tuomo beat out his older brother Jarkko by a narrow margin.

While Jarkko sounds fiercer than Tuomo, the younger Ruutu’s name is simply more awkward sounding than Jarkko's.

This is all said without even mentioning their unique last name: Ruutu. It sounds like it could be related to the Pokemon character Mewtwo.

(Don’t ask how or why I know about Pokemon. We all know most male sports junkies of my generation had to have experimented with Pokemon at some point, even if they won’t admit it.)

First Team: Kevin Shattenkirk, Defense, St. Louis Blues

This name needs no explanation. Think of a certain scene from Austin Powers in Goldmember.

Since he plays in the NHL, I feel like his last name didn’t affect his childhood too terribly.

First Team: Dustin Byfuglien, Defense/Right Wing, Atlanta Thrashers

Claus Andersen/Getty Images

TORONTO, CAN - FEBRUARY 7: Dustin Byfuglien #33 of the Atlanta Thrashers skates in the warm-up prior to a game against the Toronto Maple Leafs on February 7, 2011 at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. The Leafs defeated the Thrashers 5-4. (Photo b

Not only does Dustin Byfuglien have the NHL’s most annoying laugh (anybody who watched this year’s All-Star Weekend will attest to that), but other than Jonathan Toews, Byfuglien has the most mispronounced name in the league.

For the longest time I believed it to be pronounced ‘Bye-fyoog-len,’ which is just as it is spelled. But no, it’s pronounced ‘Buff-lin,’ which makes no sense at all.

First Team: Antero Nittymaki and Antti Niemi, Goalies, San Jose Sharks

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

CHICAGO, IL - MARCH 14: Antero Niittymaki #30 of the San Jose Sharks replaces Antti Niemi #31 in the second period against the Chicago Blackhawks at the United Center on March 14, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. The Blackhawks defeated the Sharks 6-3. (Photo b

This is the only tie on the list.When I came across the Sharks looking for players with the best names, I was struck with surprise when I noticed their goalkeepers.

Sure Antero Niittymaki and Antti Niemi have two of the strangest names in the NHL. Niittymaki’s name is especially awesome, because it could pass as the name of a Samurai master.

The strangest thing of all is that the name Antti Niemi could very well be a contracted version of Antero Niittymaki. Cool, huh?

Second Team: Jean-Francois Jacques, Left Wing, Edmonton Oilers

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

GLENDALE, AZ - NOVEMBER 23: Jean-Francois Jacques #22 of the Edmonton Oilers warms up before the NHL game against the Phoenix Coyotes at Jobing.com Arena on November 23, 2010 in Glendale, Arizona. The Coyotes defeated the Oilers 5-0. (Photo by Christia

This is the best French Canadian name in the NHL.

In English, his name translates to John-Francis James, but I prefer to call him John-Frank James, which sounds much better.

Despite preferring to be called J.F. Jacques (who wouldn’t prefer this), John-Frank James is arguably better, and more awkward, than most hyphenated first names, including George-Michael Bluth (played by Michael Cera) from the short-lived "Arrested Development."

Second Team: Magnus Paajarvi, Left Wing, Edmonton Oilers

What an intimidating name Magnus is. He shares his first name with four ancient kings of his homeland, Sweden, but most importantly, it is shared with famous strongman and fellow Swede, Magnus Samuelson.

On paper, Magnus Paajarvi could pass as the captain of a 17th-century Swedish Viking ship. Rather, Paajarvi is an Oilers rookie, and son of former hockey player Gunnar Svensson.

Like others who have made this list, his name sounds better with an accent. In Magnus’ case, try and say his name like a pirate would: ‘PaajAAARRRvi.’

Second Team: Pascal Dupuis, Left/Right Wing, Pittsburgh Penguins

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

PITTSBURGH, PA - FEBRUARY 21: Pascal Dupuis #9 of the Pittsburgh Penguins in action during the NHL game against the Washington Capitals at Consol Energy Center on February 21, 2011 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The Capitals defeated the Penguins 1-0. (Ph

Pascal Dupuis is yet another player whose name sounds better with an accent, and in Pascal’s case, it’s French.

I imagine that with a name like his, Pascal Dupuis, in a former life, he was an aspiring 19th-century Impressionist painter from France. 

Second Team: Carlo Colaiacovo, Defense, St. Louis Blues

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

ANAHEIM, CA - JANUARY 12: Carlo Colaiacovo #28 of the St. Louis Blues skates against the Anaheim Ducks at the Honda Center on January 12, 2011 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Colaiacovo’s name sounds like that of an Italian duke or baron.

Either way, he doesn’t sound like a native of Toronto playing in the NHL. 'Nuff said.

Second Team: Nikita Nikitin, Defense, St. Louis Blues

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

UNIONDALE, NY - MARCH 05: Nikita Nikitin #64 of the St. Louis Blues skates against the New York Islanders at the Nassau Coliseum on March 5, 2011 in Uniondale, New York. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Nikitin’s parents settled on an odd, but seemingly usual, naming pattern.

In English, we have names similar to Nikita Nikitin. I’m sure someone knows a John Johnson or Dave Davis.

Or, for a famous example, you have former hockey player Pete Peters, or Robbie Robertson, the guitarist from, oddly enough, the band ‘The Band.’

Second Team: Tuukka Rask, Goalie, Boston Bruins

Paul Bereswill/Getty Images

UNIONDALE, NY - FEBRUARY 17: Goalie Tuukka Rask #40 of the Boston Bruins watches during a faceoff timeout in an NHL hockey game against the New York Islanders at the Nassau Coliseum on February 17, 2011 in Uniondale, New York. (Photo by Paul Bereswill/G

This could be argued as one of the most unique names in the NHL.

It’s truly a foreign name, and I haven’t heard anything like this guy’s name before.

This could definitely be the name of a Tusken Raider, from the Star Wars universe.

Third Team: Justin Abdelkader, Center, Detroit Red Wings

Previously, I thought the correct spelling of Justin’s name was Abducator. Regardless of the spelling, his name sounds as if it should be a noun, or position, as in ‘Justin the Abdelkader.’ 

For the hell of it, I googled the name Abducator, only to find that “Abducator” is the name of a character in the World of Warcraft.

This player is a member of the ‘Undead’ race, belongs to the ‘Death Knight’ class and is a level 80, whatever those mean. Thought you should know.

Third Team: Marty Reasoner, Center, Florida Panthers

Rick Stewart/Getty Images

BUFFALO, NY - DECEMBER 23: Marty Reasoner #19 of the Florida Panthers skates against the Buffalo Sabres at HSBC Arena on December 23, 2010 in Buffalo, New York. Florida won 4-3. (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)

What a fantastic name. Unfortunately, it isn't strange enough to be on the first or second all-name teams.

To follow in the footsteps of the Smuckers slogan, the only thing to really say about Marty is this: With a name like Reasoner, he has to be rational. Is he?

Third Team: Guillame Latendresse, Right Wing, Minnesota Wild

Dale MacMillan/Getty Images

EDMONTON, CANADA - OCTOBER 21: Guillaume Latendresse #48 of the Minnesota Wild skates against the Edmonton Oilers on October 21, 2010 at Rexall Place in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Dale MacMillan/Getty Images)

This name is obviously of French origin, but I chose this name for a reason other than the fact that it sounds strange.

While playing NHL 11, I was startled to hear the announcer say what I thought was, “Let’s undress.” I wouldn’t be surprised if others have been mistaken as I previously was.

Third Team: Karlis Skrastins, Defense, Dallas Stars

Harry How/Getty Images

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 11: Karlis Skrastins #37 of the Dallas Stars warms up before the game against the Los Angeles Kings at the Staples Center on November 11, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Nothing really extraordinary here. Nothing to make a play on words with, other than ‘Car-less.’

It’s just an odd name that uses only the letters K, A, R, L, I, S, N and T. I can hear it now: “Honey, what can we name our son using the letters of our last name?”

Third Team: Bryce Salvador, Defense, New Jersey Devils

Chris McGrath/Getty Images

NEWARK, NJ - APRIL 11: Bryce Salvador #24 of the New Jersey Devils chases the puck against the Buffalo Sabres at the Prudential Center on April 11, 2010 in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

In the Spanish language, the word Salvador translates to ‘savior’ in the English language.

Unfortunately for Bryce, he hasn’t been much of a savior to any team he has played for so far.

Third Team: Pekka Rinne, Goalie, Nashville Predators

Along with Rask, this name is one of the oddest names in the game of hockey. Tuuka Rask just seems a little more out there.

The one thing Pekka Rinne has going for him, is that his name resembles the family name of a hard Italian cheese, Pecorino, which is made from sheep’s milk.