WWE Raw: Rating Snooki's Performance Against Other Pseudo-Celebrities

Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi made a cameo appearance on raw last week, over a course of multiple segments ranging from bad to worse. In turn, it made headlines as what was thought to be a one-off appearance will now see Snooki compete in a match at WrestleMania XXVII in Atlanta, Georgia.

Snookis' surprising inclusion on the card has sparked routine outrage amongst wrestling fans who feel that she will be taking the spot of more deserving talent.

I have no problem with Snooki being featured at WrestleMania.  At the end of the day, WWE is a business and in their biggest showcase of the year the goal is for them to rake in as many buyrates as possible.  Snooki moves the ratings needle.  Kelly Kelly, who was rumored to be the third member alongside Trish Stratus and John Morrison against Laycool and Dolph Ziggler, does not. 

Snooki isn't the first pseudo celebrity to be featured in WWE.  In fact, WWE has become somewhat of a safe haven for the inexplicably famous over the course of its existence as Vince McMahon may be the only person more obsessed with publicity than them.

The marriage between WWE and pseudo-celebrities is a well documented one, as WWE tries its damnedest to keep the clock of their fame from reaching its 15th and final minute.  Some have thrived.  Others, not so much. 

Snooki's performance on Raw this past week, where she slapped Vickie Guerrero before executing an impressive Lou Thez press on Layla that even purists could appreciate, was not overwhelmingly better or worse than that of past pseudo celebrities. 

Snookis' performance ranked just in the middle in comparison with some of her more memorable counterparts, with all being memorable for one reason or another.

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Kevin Federlline

Perhaps the most natural transition from free press to pro wrestling came from ready-made heel Kevin Federline. 

K-Fed, if you'll remember, was famous for marrying Britney Spears while the pop icon was in the middle of an infamous meltdown that dominated tabloids and headlines in 2007.

Once Spears had grown tired of her unlikable former hubby, K-Fed entered the world of pro wrestling where he would engage in a brief, albeit entertaining, feud with then WWE Champion John Cena. 

Butterbean

Butterbean was a Super Heavyweight boxer who tickled the big man fetish of niche fight fans fans everywhere.  In 1998, WWE's infamous 'brawl for it all' shootfighting tournament was unexpectedly won by Bart Gunn. 

The tournament, the first and last legitimate fighting tournament in WWE history, was designed as a springboard for the late Dr. Death Steve Williams who was a friend of then VP of talent relations Jim Ross. 

Ross had sung Williams' praises up and down leading into the tournament, believing the amateur wrestler, and fellow Oklahoman, to be the next big thing in wrestling. 

Unfortunately, Williams was knocked out by Gunn in the second round of the tournament, debunking the myth that was Steve Williams and thwarting Ross' elaborate attempt to immediately elevate "his boy" to the top of the WWE food chain. 

For his troubles, Gunn was berated on national television by a slobbering and scathing Ross in response to Gunn exuberantly celebrated the victory much to the chagrin of Ross.  Gunn was subsequently fed to then Super Heavyweight king Butterbean at WrestleMania XV.

Outside of a one-off appearance at Raw's 15th anniversary show, few have ever seen or heard from Bart Gunn since.  

Buzz Aldrin

Buzz Aldrin's embarrassing effort on a recent episode of raw legitimized need for an age limit in professional wrestling in accordance with WWE's ongoing youth movement. 

As guest host of an episode of raw in December, the former astronaut and his equally geriatric wife coughed up a series of disorganized lines while contributing to one of the worst guest hosting outputs of the painful Raw guest host era. 

Johnny Knoxville

The Jackass star, and many of his co-stars, is an admitted wrestling fan and has joined up with WWE for a small handful of promotional appearances. 

His most recent appearance saw him guest hosting Raw to promote the premiere of Jackass: 3D.

Criss Angel

Known for his illusional prowess and magical powers, the star of A&E's smoke and mirrors spectacular's Mindfreak was unable to perform an elaborate magic trick, that was scheduled, due to time constraints.

Instead, Angel, as guest host of an episode of Raw in Portland, Oregon, performed an impromptu magic trick of making the ratings disappear. 

David Otunga

Before he was the critically panned pro wrestler and member of the Nexus, David Otunga was famous for marrying Jennifer Hudson. 

WWE took that ball and ran with it in 2010, featuring him as part of a handful of high profile feuds and wrestling matches that he was obviously not ready for. 

Otunga has since been kicked in the head by Randy Orton. 

Brooke Hogan

Brooke Hogan's cameo appearance, to promote her album during SummerSlam 2006 where her father Hulk was to refuse to job to wrestle Randy Orton, was nowhere near as bad as her unintentionally comical performance on the first live Monday Night episode of Impact in January of 2010. 

After being courted by Orton in a parking garage, a protective and player hating Hulk Hogan intervened only to take an RKO for his troubles. 

Gennifer Flowers

In perhaps the scene that made the Rock, the People's Champion engaged in an entertaining dialogue with the Presidential adulterer during WrestleMania XIV. 

This was one of the first time that the Rock used a variation of his patented "if you smell what the Rock is cooking" line and the rest was history. 

Kim Kardashian

WWE is notorious for ignoring blatant facts with its characteristically grandiose and propagated proclamations. 

WWE wants its universe to believe that the Rock is the first ever guest host in WrestleMania history, but that distinction belongs to Kim Kardashian as evidenced by the video shown above. 

Kim Kardashian announced WWE's involvement in charitable causes during Wrestlemania XXIV.  She didn't do much else, nor did she have to as she has made a career out of looking good while doing next to nothing.

(Where's) Herb

The real life Where's Waldo made a stop at WrestleMania 2 as a guest timekeeper as part of a national promotional campaign for Burger King. 

Unlike every other stipulated appearance for Herb during the late 80's, spotting Herb at WrestleMania did not make anybody a millionaire. 

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