Adebayor Hot, Manchester United Not

Welcome back to the Hot or Not series.

Last week was a weekend off for the English Premier League but this weekend it was back with a bang.

During the break I was approached by Bleacher Report's rugby community leader Sean Kelly about borrowing my Hot or Not concept, and obviously the answer was yes.

Upon inspecting Sean’s piece I found his adaptation to be quite appealing so today I’m going to try a slightly new style based on Sean’s efforts.

HOT

We’ll start this week with Dirk Kuyt. The Dutchman remembers how to play upfront! It’s been a very long time since he had that pleasure. Pity he has forgotten where the back of the net is. He gets points for trying though.

Liverpool actually looked pretty good for the most part and have even found some width as new signing Albert Riera slotted into the Anfield line up offering the side a new outlet.

It appears Newcastle United fans have won the first battle of the Toon Civil War. Protests at St James’ Park on Saturday have led to Mike Ashley announcing he’s putting the club up for sale. He’ll have to hurry though, as no one wants a Championship side.

Marlon King is usually best described as a Championship striker but he went a long way to enhancing his reputation at Newcastle, as his side Hull City levelled the Toon Civil War at 1-1 thanks to his two goals in a 2-1 win.

We all love a good save and this week it’s Boaz Myhill’s stop from a point blank Michael Owen header, narrowly behind Scott Carson who saved all three points at the Hawthorns with a brave last gasp stop.

Wow the atmosphere at the City of Manchester stadium was buzzing. Sadly for the home crowd it was Chelsea who were buzzing on the pitch. Frank Lampard’s goal was a classic break with a fantastic finish.

West Bromwich Albion finally got off to winning ways with a hard fought win over West Ham United. The best of the promoted sides in my opinion and they are deserving of some luck. A great glancing header by star man James Morrison gave WBA the lead. My only question was why wasn’t he fit for Scotland? You just can’t trust the English.

Now this is the bit every football pundit (famous or not) dreads. This writer has been rather critical of Emmanuel Adebayor and Theo Walcott since the start of the season, but both players went a long way to proving me wrong with vintage displays away at Blackburn.

Jermain Defoe may have failed to net against Andorra for England, but in the EPL he’s on fire. Two goals earned his side a 2-1 win over Middlesbrough.

The EPL is full of many nationalities but this year's surprise package has been a couple of Egyptians. Mido and Amr Zaki have bagged six goals between them this season, including one each at the weekend.

Fulham proved on Saturday they are more than relegation candidates and they can thank Bobby Zamora and Zoltan Gera, as both men turned in terrific performances for the Cottagers.

Footballing spirit isn’t dead. Well at least not in Stoke where David Moyes spent the final few minutes of his sides 3-2 win in the crowd with the Stoke fans. The Everton boss was sent to the stands for complaining about a dodgy refereeing decision that denied the Toffees a penalty. A shocker by the assistant I might add. At the final whistle Moyes stood up and shook the hand of the surrounding Stoke fans. Presumably for their much appreciated advice.

We finish off the hot this week with Tim Cahill, who returned from a six month injury lay off to nick all three points for Everton with a last gasp header.

NOT

The bungle of the week has to go to Wes Brown and Edwin Van Der Sar for allowing Liverpool back into the game with the most hilarious of own goals. A mention too for Titus Bramble and Phil Jagielka for their efforts in this department.

Anyway, Manchester United were never going to win that tie. Starting the match without your top scorer. A school boy error Sir Alex Ferguson. Where was Darren Fletcher?

Nominees for clown of the week are Howard Webb (for failing to send off Vidic after he brought down Robbie Keane) and Nemanja Vidic himself for his sending off, but the winner has to be Danny Guthrie for breaking Hull City’s Craig Fagan’s leg with an appalling tackle.

Well I say tackle but I mean “kick”, “chop”, or “assault”. Joey Barton would be proud!

Dimitar Berbatov stated before his debut for Manchester United that he wasn’t the new Eric Cantona. Well he certainly got that right!

Remember the days as a school kid being forced to wear your kit inside out because the tops clashed with the opposition? I think we all do. What I don’t remember is a club turning up for an EPL match without a suitable kit. Hull City were forced to wear Newcastle tops at St James’ Park after the referee deemed their kit unplayable. School boy error I say.

They should be punished by being forced to wear Bolton Wanderers new away kit for three weeks.

Speaking of kits, West Ham looked like a patchwork quilt with their XL Holidays logo covered up with a big square of fabric. XL went bust leaving West Ham without a sponsor. What next for the Londoners?

Miss of the week must be Florent Malouda’s. Unmarked and with every City defender standing still, the Frenchman headed the ball off the bar from just six yards.

Oh and is it just me or does John Terry look at home in black?

Just enough time to bring you news of another defeat for Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs 1 Aston Villa 2.

The pressure now starts to build on Juande Ramos.