Top Ten NFL Names And Ways To Flip Em'

NOTE: I DO NOT RECOGNIZE CHAD OCHO-CINCO. SORRY.

10. Champ and Boss Bailey

- If you name your first son champ, the only other options for the next son is Boss and Master, which is why I chose to group them together.  Dont forget that these are not there real names however.  Champs real name is Roland, and his brother Boss' real name is Rodney.  Now in Denver everyone gets two glasses of Bailey's so drink up.

9. Ed Reed

- Although it seems to be a fairly simple name, I have notice that while playing madden Ed aquires multiple nicknames that I find hilarious.  For example, Ed "Cant" Reed, Ed "Can Barely" Reed or Ed "The Sped' Reed.  Make sure not to take this commentary racially, being that I am half black.

8. Josh Cribbs

- Josh just took it to the Cribbs!!!! Nuff' said!

7. Guy Whimper

- Hes a Giants tackle who wheres number 79.  Its extremely self explanitory, and being that he never touches the field, I'm going to have to move on to number six.

6. Cadillac Williams

- Now this third string running back, behind Graham and Dunn, gets his time to shine. Cadillac jokes can go on for months.  Ask Patrick Ewing who's nostrils were compared to Cadillac garages for years in my Queens, NY home. 

In Carnell's case,  we can parallel park the Caddy in the endzone, or leave the gas guzzler on the sideline.  Is he a hybrid back, ethanol, hydrogen fuel cell, or has he been converted to run off pure canola oil? If you ask me, Carnell "Cadillac" Williams is more of a 98' Escalade with spinners then a classic and timeless 67' Cadillac coupe Deville droptop convertible in sea foam green (check my driveway for further reference).

5. Brett Goode

- The Green Bay Packers long snapper (No. 61) is basically an embodiment of Aaron Rodgers conscience, and constant reminder that the pressure is on.  Luckily Rodgers has played well, and I give all the credit to Brett...... Goode.  The world really has been turned upside down in Green Bay, but that could just be because Brett Goode is always looking between his legs, whiffing the spledid aromas of his own jockstrap.

4. Chad Slaughter and Cedric Killings

- Chad, a Raider, and Cedric, a Texan are bunched together because I fear them.  They do not need there names "flipped" in order to scare me, because my pants have been wet since I type "Chad Slau...".

3. MacKenzie Hoambrecker

- Although the former 49er is just an unemployed kicker born in Iowa City, his name is too perfect to not have a high spot on my top 10. 

Kickers are the 2nd biggest homewreckers next to wide receivers of course, which is why the name is so ironic.  Although he has no regular season kicks under his belt, I am almost positive he sleeps with other men's wives and has helped dozens of families realize it is time to file for a divorce. 

He even recommends a good lawyer,  after he kicks the intruding husband in the crotch sending his left testie 52 yards where it then falls short of the crossbar as time expires, landing in the arms of an awaiting Antonio Cromartie, which then is brought 109 yards and two feet TO THE HOUSSSSEEEE!!!!!!  (Deep Breath)

2. Mike Hart and Joseph Addai

- The Colts running back tandem have given us all the catch phrase of the future.  Cross Mike Hart and hope to Addai (thank you Chris Berman).  Too bad Hart first carry was with 10 seconds left during Indy's week one lost.

1. Jerricho Cotchery

- I admit I have a bias opinion being that I am a die hard Jets fan, however I still feel that this is the best name in the NFL.  There is no tricks to it, or no perfect joke to make regarding his name, but I still love it regardless.  I mean I'm sure Brett Favre gets chaffeured around New York, but if he was to drive it would be down Jerricho Turnpike.  Ok i admit thats a bad joke, but seriously what kind of name is Jerricho Cotchery.  If anyone has an explanation, feel free to comment.

HONORABLE MENTIONS...... Takeo Spikes,  Roc Alexander,  A.J. Hawk,  Priest Holmes,  Richie Incognito,  Winston Justice,  Sinorice Moss,  T.J. Houshmandzadeh,  D'Brickashaw Ferguson,  Kevin Youngblood, and Kabeer Bjaja-Biamila