The Irrelevant Ohio State/USC Preview

It seems like all the major media outlets have caught on to the fact that there's a big game this weekend, and are all providing borderline excessive previews of this Week Three game (included are a few links for the non-believers/sub-rock citizens).

What am I supposed to do? A position-by-position breakdown? The internet beat me to the punch. An article about the prestige of these two teams? They've got it covered. A Beanie Wells update? Check...check...check...check. I want to write something—I have to write something—but it seems like every single angle of this game has been covered.

But then it hit me...only the seemingly relevant aspects of this game have been covered. There have got to be some random, completely irrelevant tidbits I can expose, just to complete the absurdity that is the coverage of this game. Turns out, there are:

• Ohio State has the edge on games played on September 13. Ohio State is 4-0 in games played on September 13, most recently with a 44-38 win over NC State in 2003. USC, on the other hand, is only 3-1 on September 13. In 1997, USC lost 28-21 to Washington State at home.

• Ohio State has the edge for games played in September. Jim Tressel is 27-2 at Ohio State in September. Pete Carroll, on the other hand, is only 20-5 in September as coach of USC.

• USC has a huge advantage when playing at night on ABC. Tressel is 6-1 when Ohio State plays night games on ABC (it should be noted the previous two National Title games were on FOX). Carroll, on the other hand, is an astonishing 16-1.

• USC is 40-3 under Pete Carroll when its starting quarterback's first name starts with an M. Mark Sanchez is 3-1, Matt Leinart was 37-2.

• Ohio State is 38-5 under Jim Tressel when its starting quarterback's first name starts with a T. Todd Boeckman is 13-2, Troy Smith was 25-3.

UPDATE: More Beanie Wells news: Uh oh, Buckeye fans.

I'm not sure I really want to spend more time researching the most obscure facts I can think of for a game that won't feature Beanie Wells, so I hope you enjoyed the few facts I did track down.