LeBron James: 10 Things I Hate About You
Since LeBron James' "Decision" last July, he's behaved with an arrogance, tactlessness and self-delusion that has turned off almost everyone but Miami Heat fans.
His behavior would be fine if he adopted the role of the wrestling heel, but after recently describing himself, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade as "the Heatles" (in reference to the Beatles), it’s clear LeBron continues to delude himself into thinking he's some beloved figure.
Here's my personal top-10 list for why I hate LeBron.
Le-Cake (satire)
1 of 10
Looking at a 4-tier custom birthday cake, Lebron said to the cakemaker:
"You know what's missing? A 5th tier capped with an edible crown."
Meet the Heatles (satire)
2 of 10
You know you're deluded when you start making self-comparisons to the greatest music group of all time.
Comparing yourself to the greatest of any field is not something you should do yourself. Let others make the comparisons.
Contraction Retraction
3 of 10
Right when Lebron finally says something I agree with—that the NBA would be better if it contracted—he pulls an A-Rod and retracts his honest sentiments in a move to be politically correct.
Worse of all, the excuse he gives.
Lebron stated that he mis-spoke because he did not know what "contraction" meant. If that was the case, Lebron should have taken his talents to college instead of South Beach.
Passive-Agressivity
4 of 10
In line with the contraction-retraction, Lebron will never really say or do exactly what's on his mind. Instead, he takes weird little passive-aggressive acts—like bumping Erik Spoelstra.
Le-Return To Cleveland
5 of 10
Really, you don't have the common-sense, humility, or decency to spare the city you left in ruins your freaking chalk throw?
Chalk Throw
6 of 10
Pretty soon every player is going to have some signature move before the start of every game. And that is not a good thing.
Not Doing It On His Own
7 of 10
I could have rooted for Lebron in Cleveland, even New York, but not in Miami. He basically gave up and announced to the world that he couldn't win it all on his own. And maybe he was right. So now, here's hoping he can't win it all with Wade and Bosh either.
Le-Decision
8 of 10
And if joining Wade and Bosh wasn't bad enough, it was how he did it. Show some class, and spare Cleveland the one-hour special and last-minute notice.
Person Of the Year?
9 of 10
This is more a lament to Time Magazine. Lebron James' nomination as Person of the Year? Really?? Lady Gaga would have been more deserving. Wait, what? She was nominated too?!? Oh, Time ...
Le-Lexicon
10 of 10
For introducing Le- to the English language. Lack of LeCreativity with fan signs:
- LeQuitter
- LeQuit and the Miami Cheat
- Where LeQuitting Happens
- LeLoser
- LeLiar
- LeTraitor
- LeBrorschach (?)
- LeBum
