Bleacher Report NFL Kickoff Special

Now this article has the results of my predictions of Week One.

It's a Bird!

A plane!

Aw man, that's just big Vikings DL Pat Williams, and the official start of the 2008 NFL season.

Talk about storylines, Daunte went like a disgruntled McDonalds employee and quit because he realized the world didn't care if he reported to work or not, McNabb is finally healthy, Eli is fresh from a Super Bowl run for the ages and Brett Favre looks more like Broadway Joe than we expected.

Are you ready for some football?

I couldn't be more prepared, and I finally am being rescued from a Summer of Baseball pitchers throwing their arms out, Nobody yet reaching 40+ HR's at press time, and every tennis final being won by the likes of Nadal, Djokovic or Federer (okay, all Nadal).

We are here, at the start of the best sport season and ready to delve right into the Kool-Aid.

This kickoff special will be sweet, and so will a couple of rookies after being hit by Philadelphia Eagles S Brian Dawkins, or CB Sheldon Brown (just ask Reggie Bush).

Here is my breakdown of certain games this week, with a winner. I must say, after watching the Swami predict on ESPN, I feel rather inspired.

Detroit Lions @ Atlanta Falcons

The Lions thought maybe they would deliver on their 10-win promise last season after starting 6-2. I believed in them a little, but quickly retracted after they lost two in a row.

I've never saw a team underachieve so often, and this year won't change much. The running game has something to prove, Kitna is mistake prone and the defense looks suspect. Fortunately for them, this is a game they can't lose.

With a rookie QB in Matt Ryan starting against them, a terrible defense and unproven running game, the Lions should be able to start their 2008 campaign 1-0. Just do me a favor, and leave the predictions to people like me.

Final score: Detroit 24, Atlanta 10

Real Final Score: Detroit 21, Atlanta 34 (Bell Jr. 0-1)

Cincinnati Bengals @ Baltimore Ravens

This game is a mess waiting to happen.

We have Chad Javon Ocho Cinco officially christening the back of his jersey with that nonsense, another rookie QB starting by default in Joe Flacco, a hobbled Willis McGahee which may very well be rookie RB Ray Rice's first start, and a limited/hobbled Ed Reed.

Fun.

Both of these teams have no real shot at a playoff berth, and it will show in this game. I expect for T.J Houshmandzadeh to be the story of this game, and although I don't believe in the Bengals offense anymore and that defense isn't much better than last season, I don't believe they can squander this one. Flacco's stat line will resemble this: 16/36, 189 yards, TD, 2 INT, FUM. Just watch.

Final score: Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 14

Real Final Score: Cincinnati 10, Baltimore 17 (Bell Jr. 0-2)

Seattle Seahawks @ Buffalo Bills

Matt Hasselbeck and Co. have to travel across the United States to face the faceless Bills. In other words, their is no real "face of the franchise" for the Bills. It will be Marshawn Lynch after this season, and he will run for close to 100 yards in this game.

Hasselbeck is nursing a bad back and will probably be rusty, and his depleted receiving corps isn't helping him out. I suggest Mike Holmgren hold open tryouts in Seattle for another receiver to throw the ball to, and maybe they can find a true #1.

Until then, Hasselbeck will continue to make the Seahawks look good with his great ability, but not this Sunday. Lynch and the 'boys feast on home cookin' in this one.

Final Score: Seattle 13, Buffalo 20

Real Final Score: Seattle 10, Buffalo 34 (Bell Jr. 1-2)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints

Reggie Bush must be the happiest little camper in the world now that the Deuce is back, and he can play off of him. That is where he had the most success, and God help New Orleans if Reggie has to act like a feature back again.

This game will be very close and interesting, as Buccaneers LB Derrick Brooks heads an aging D that was inconsistent last season. As usual, the Saints will depend on offense to win games, and the addition of Jeremy Shockey should help tremendously.

The Saints added a few pieces on defense, including former New York B LB Jonathan Vilma, and if he can look anything like he did in his first season the Saints may very well be around until February.

New Orleans in a tight one.

Final Score: Tampa Bay 14, New Orleans 21

Real Final Score: Tampa Bay 20, New Orleans 24 (Bell Jr. 2-2)

New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins

The irony of it all. Brett Favre leaves Green Bay and turns in his cheese head to don Namath Green, Chad Pennington gets released to make room for him, and the Dolphins pick up Pennington and pen him as the starter.

Nice.

Now the stage is set for an interesting match up in the heat of Miami, and Pennington wants to beat his former team, bad. Lots of hype for a 1-15 team that is unwarranted, and Chad will be a loser come 4:15 Sunday afternoon. Not enough weapons on both offense and defense, and Brett will do well enough to win the game.

Watch out for Jerricho Cotchery, he will become the Jet named Brett's favorite target.

Final Score: New York B 14, Miami 6

Real Final Score: New York B 20, Miami 14 (Bell Jr. 3-2)

Carolina Panthers @ San Diego Chargers

Steve Smith received instant karma in the form of a concussion after going MMA on his own teammate, Ken Lucas. The chemistry of the team suffered a hit then, but maybe could be back together. Nobody knows yet, but facing an opponent like the Chargers in Week One will definitely test them.

Jake Delhomme didn't look good in the Preseason, but was shaking off rust of nearly a year. The Panthers running attack should be formidable this year and help Delhomme out.

None of that will matter Sunday.

LaDainian Tomlinson has always seemed to start seasons off slow, perhaps because he doesn't play in the Preseason. He'll get it going Sunday and so will Philip Rivers, Antonio Gates and the seemingly forgotten Chris Chambers. This one will be close, but no cigaro for Carolina.

Oh, Antonio Cromartie will pick one off for me.

Carolina 17, San Diego 27

Real Final Score: Carolina 26, San Diego 24 (Bell Jr. 3-3)

Dallas Cowboys @ Cleveland Browns

This will be the season that ESPN's Skip Bayless will be forced to stop calling Tony Romo "Tony Romeo." The Cowboys are on a mission and all of the so-called "analysts" are saying that if they don't win the Super Bowl, their season will be a failure.

Isn't that true of every NFL team?

Anyway, Derek Anderson is out to prove to the world that he is no fluke, and to try and keep Brady Quinn on the bench. He won't do either, and Quinn will be the starter before the season is up.

This game is full of story lines and if Romo, Barber, T.O and the defense do their jobs then chalk this up as a win for the boys from Texas.

Dallas 28, Cleveland 13

Real Final Score: Dallas 28, Cleveland 10 (Bell Jr. 4-3)

Minnesota 19, Green Bay 24 (Bell Jr. 4-4)

Denver 41, Oakland 14 (Bell Jr. 4-5)

Samuel Bell Jr. Record- 4-5

Minnesota will beat Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers to spoil the debut of the post-Favre era, and I'm going to go on a little bit of a limb and say that the "Raiiiiiidddddaasss!" in Chris Berman's infamous tone will surprise the Denver Broncos, 19-16.

Football is back people, and in the words of Jim Rome, "I'm out."