Florida Football: Steve Addazio Has To Be Fired Now

That's it.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS INEXCUSABLE BULLS**T THAT URBAN MEYER AND STEVE ADDAZIO CALL OFFENSE.

It's quite obvious now- Addazio calls ALL the shots.

Most of which are pointed right at the heart of Gator Nation.

It sure seems that way, because Addazio has just dismantled what could have been another season contending for the BCS Championship and put a bullet right through it.

Actually, five bullets. The first one was against Alabama, the second was against LSU, and... well, you know the rest.

There's got to be a better job for Addazio. Perhaps he could take over as UF's swim coach. He could teach his swimmers the dive play five hours a day and NOT get in deep trouble with the fan base.

Check this interview out: http://www.gatorvision.tv/mediaPortal/player.dbml?id=736138&db_oem_id=6500

What pissed me off the most was the air of arrogance Addazio had when he conducted this interview. Watch his body language as he spouts his normal garbage. He crosses his arms, squints his eyes and shakes his head.

Go get your best friend on the planet, and tell him/her to do exactly what Addazio did. Tell your friend to simultaneously spit trash at you like "Texas had a fine season" or "The Browns are actually better than the Patriots JUST because they beat them once."

Come back and let me know if you didn't want to punch him/her in the nose.

And yes, it IS Addazio. No, it is NOT a lack of talent. In 2008, John Brantley BEAT OUT a guy named Cameron Newton. Dan Mullen, the genius who put together that dazzling offense, made that call. Look what Gus Malzahn is doing with Newton at Auburn.

I literally went into a blackout rage. Ask anybody in my school, I'm usually the most level-headed guy there is. I generally avoid fights, unless somebody pushes me into a blackout fury. Then you better watch out. But I don't think anybody in my high school has ever seen one, because I don't recall ever being this pissed.

What exactly is a blackout rage? It's mistaking a tree in your front lawn for Steve Addazio, and thinking that a dead leaf still clinging to it is the area between his legs (which contains nothing but a slit, trust me, I know) and punching and kicking it. It's throwing more footballs off of people's houses (three) than deep shots Addazio took all game (passes beyond 15 yards)- just two!!! It's pulling a Cameron Newton and throwing your laptop out of your window (fortunately, my window is 2 feet off the ground, and it wasn't damaged) because it dared to show highlights from the game after I clicked on the ESPN recap. And finally, it is stating, quite loudly and obnoxiously, for all of my county to hear that Florida needs a new play-caller

This final shot in Tallahassee is the breaking point. Personally, I first noticed that Florida had an issue in the Tennessee game last year. Other dedicated fans did, too. Some other fans that don't watch as many games, or who might be more of a 'Yay team' type of fan, noticed it after the first game this season. But now, even the "I went to UF so I guess that means I root for them to beat FSU in order to show school spirit' have to notice that something is seriously wrong in Gator Land.

What exactly went wrong? Well, let's see, Florida kept running dive plays on about 90% of the plays, for starters. Another major problem was that despite a quick strike score, and a subsequent FSU punt, Florida failed to capitalize on the momentum and open up the playbook with some creative plays. Oh, my bad, Florida tried a fake punt, and for the first time ever under Urban Meyer, it failed. No matter how ineffective the Threebow was, Addazio failed to adjust.

Wait a second, that's funny. I swear to god, I've heard of those problems before.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I'VE WRITTEN THEM OVER AND OVER AND THEY FALL ON DEAF EARS EVERY F****** TIME.

This is sad. I've got a choice to make- either begin recruiting a new team to watch, or begin recruiting 3 year old girls to call Florida's plays (I've decided that 2 year old girls aren't quite mature enough).

Really, I'm seriously considering dumping the Gators until someone other than Addazio calls the plays.

And let me say this: it is not because Florida is losing so many games. I stuck with them throughout Ron Zook's mismanagement. I stuck with them through 2007. At least those teams were competitive. It is because their offense- who once made me dizzy from all of their 25 yard plays- now cannot get a first down if it is literally handed to them. See all of the FSU penalties that made it 1st and 5, giving Addazio a hard-on because he has a chance to execute his oh-so-brilliant strategy- staying on schedule (haven't we heard that one, too?)

Urban Meyer!!! Urban Meyer!!! Urban Meyer!!!

WAKE UP URBAN MEYER!!! You're a brilliant coach!!! DO SOMETHING!!! DO NOT LET THIS IDIOT DRAG YOU DOWN!!!

Let me say this. Urban Meyer is still the best coach in football. His offensive coordinator is the worst. Put them together, and what do you get? An average team. They should really be 6-6- my friend ( a UGA fan) keeps saying that if Georgia doesn't commit 4 turnovers, Georgia beats Florida.

You know what's really scary?

HE'S RIGHT!!!

IF GEORGIA DOES NOT COMMIT 4 TURNOVERS, THEN FLORIDA LOSES THAT GAME TOO!!!

ADDAZIO GOT BAILED OUT BY FRESHMAN QB AARON MURRAY!!!

Florida should be 6-6. I kept denying that to my friend. But it's the truth. Florida could EASILY be 6-6. You know what's even scarier?

Well, I know you don't want to think about it- but think about this: what if Meyer hadn't used the fake punt against Tennessee and injected some life into his team? What if Florida had continued to struggle and had lost that game too? Remember now, it's 10-10 late in the third, and you're about to give Tennessee the ball back. What if UT had driven down the field, scored, and held a lifeless Gator team to no further points?

Oh god. Give me a minute to vomit.

If both of those aforementioned things happen, Florida is 5-7, get swept by their three rivals and are bowl-ineligible. Just like Texas.

It's not Meyer's fault his offensive coordinator hopped on the retard jet and jumped out onto I-don't-give-a-flying-f***-about-how-my-team-does-as-long-as-I-get-paid island. Those two mindsets can really kill a team, can't they?

I said pretty clearly that Florida would lose this game with Addazio, didn't I?

Here's how pathetic Addazio really is.

I was in a mall last Tuesday. I was checking out jerseys in Sports Authority with a friend when I hear a little girl talking to her father. The word Gator caught my attention, and I'm so glad it did. I wish I'd recorded it. The girl could not have been any older than 12, and was probably 9 or 10. It went something like this:

Dad: So, baby, we got you that Gator cheerleading outfit. Are you excited to wear it?

Girl: Yeah, well... only kinda.

Dad: Kinda??? Baby, Daddy spent a lot of money on that, and you said really wanted it for your birthday!!!

Girl: Well I know, but...

Dad: But what?

Girl: Florida sucks, Daddy!!!

Dad: What??? Umm (taken aback, takes a second to regroup) no honey, they're just in a down year.

Girl: But... (THIS LINE IS EXACT) why is their offensive guy such a p****?

I have no idea if she knew what she said, or what the word meant. My friend and I were laughing so hard, we caught their attention. The dad looked at us like we were wild animals trying to eat his daughter, and quickly guided her away. We continued laughing until about halfway home, when my friend looked at me and kind of choked on his laughter and said "Dude... that little girl was right!!!"

Oh.

My.

God.

Yes, she was.

That little girl may not know the first thing about football but you know what? I'd give her a headset and a playbook if it meant ridding Florida of this moron.

Really...