The Lighter-Side Of Collegiate Team Names

Terry LyttleNov 10, 2010

When it comes to naming collegiate teams, there appears to be no protocol. That being true, one would like to think colleges would take great pride and put serious thought behind naming their teams—you be the judge. I discovered something interesting and that is all teams can be categorized into themes.

Take Nebraska and Ohio State for example. They looked to something indigenous to their area, which is agriculture, refused to go against the "grain" and so opted for Nebraska Cornhuskers and Ohio State Buckeyes . While these names do not generate images of prowess or something to be feared, they are certainly far better than Corndogs or Wheat Thins.

Let’s begin with colleges whose theme is short-cuts, reducing the naming process to their college:

St-Thomas, St. John’s, Jamestown and Augsburg: Tommies, Johnnies, Jimmies and Auggies, respectively.

Another short-cut theme is color, simply call your collegiate team a color:

Cornell, Dartmouth, Millikin and North Texas: Big Red, Big Green, Big Blue and Mean Green, respectively (Kudos to North Texas; at least their "green" is "mean").

My favorite theme are those who use political names; it gives impetus for a little humor:

Franklin & Marshall: Diplomats
Austin Peay: Governors
Davis & Elkins: Senators
William Penn: Statesmen

“Coach Slush Fund, what are we going to do? Its 4th down, the ball is on the 10 yard line and there are six seconds left in the game?” “Ok team, here’s what we do! Its called, Proposition, 'Give It To Them Good.’ Empty Promises is going out wide right as a decoy. Quarterback Rampant Inflation will fake the ball to More Jobs, More Jobs will then join Empty Promises as a ruse. The ball will be given to Higher Taxes who will sneak it up the middle. Now, go out and legislate me a touchdown!”

My favorite name in all of football are the Miami Hurricanes. The name not only represents a vicious storm that ravages the area but also sends a message to opponents on how the team is going to play. Storms are just fantastic themes for teams, but we have one here that, well, needs a little help.

Miami: Hurricanes
Southern Nazarene: Storm
Iowa State: Cyclones
Geneva: Tornadoes

And then, we have the Gustavus Adolphus: Gusties. Gusties, “We’ll huff and puff and blow some leaves on your house.”

Many teams go with the ferocious feline theme:

LSU: Tigers
Pitt: Panthers
Penn State: Nittany Lions
Arizona: Wildcats
Southern: Jaguars

Then there are collegiate teams that tame it down a bit and use the "we will bug you" theme:

Richmond: Spiders
Emory & Henry: Wasps
Georgia Tech: Yellow Jackets
Arkansas-Monticello: Boll Weevils
College of Atlantic: Black flies

And my favorite, St. Ambrose: Bees—“Have you heard the latest buzz about the bees? They really put the stinger to…”

Some colleges took a "devil may care" attitude when choosing this theme:

Arizona State: Sun Devils
Northwest State: Demons
Duke: Blue Devils
Mississippi Valley State: Delta Devils
Dickinson: Red Devils
Cape Fear Community College: Sea Devils

Is there a more serene peaceful name in the collegiate world than Wake Forest? So it stands to reason they had one devil of a time selecting a team name. Demon Deacons doesn’t exactly slip off the tongue as nicely as the "Wake Forest Warriors," but it does fit this theme. Wake Forest: Demon Deacons.

The theme here is colleges that might want to consider a name change:

Bethany College: Terrible Swedes. “Folks last night’s Bethany College game was just as advertised—Terrible!"

Washburn College: Little Giants. A mixed-metaphor as a team name? “Our team is a team of giants, sadly, we’re all tiny.”

Tufts: Jumbos. “Mom I’ve become a Jumbo,” “Yes dear I know, your father is a jumbo too, its all the pasta I feed you.”

Long Beach State: Dirtbags. OK, honesty is the best policy, but it doesn’t have to go into the team name!

Ithaca: Bombers. The name implies this team "bombs" game after game! We might as well name them the Ithaca: Bloopers.

UC, Santa Cruz: Banana Slugs. I want a transfer!

Scottsdale Community College: Artichokes. Nickname, "Chokes."

UC, Irvine: Anteaters. Anteaters? How about Worldbeaters?

Amherst College: Lord Jeffs. Please play Alabama.

Arkansas Tech: Wonder Boys. We "wonder" if these "boys" will ever win?

Columbia College: Claim Jumpers. Throw the yellow flag! Claim Jumpers are cheaters and thieves!

Wichita State: Shockers. Are we shocked they showed up for the game? Shocked how much they lose by? Shocked by the off-field antics? Shocked they selected Shockers as a team name?

The theme is college team names many of us need a dictionary to decipher who they are:

Webster: Gorloks
St. John’s College: Platypi
VMI: Keydets
Coastal Carolina: Chanticleers
Concord: Cobbers
Williams: Ephs
UC San Diego: Tritons
Washburn: Ichabods

Last, but certainly not least, is the theme of unique women’s team names:

Arkansas-Monticello: Cotton Blossoms
Bennett: Belles
Bluefield State: Lady Blues
Stephen F. Austin: Ladyjacks

And my favorite, Northland: Lumberjills

We have taken a lighter-side look at collegiate team names, but a poignant point to be made is that this lighter-side seems to be a focal point when colleges choose a name, they make it "fun."