Xbox 360 Kinect: Virtual Reality That Will Make Nintendo Wii All The Way Home

Do you remember those kids whose hang out spot was the movie theater?  No, not the kids who would write poetry on each other during P.E., smoke additive-free tobacco, and publicly disapprove of movies as hollow as Mean Girls but secretly think they were the fetchest.

I’m talking about a more hardcore breed of theater-dwelling mammal.  I was never cool enough to belong, but one time I got spat on by one for making direct eye contact.  

That’s right: I’m talking about the Dance Dance Revolution arcade rat.  The person who frequents the theater without ever intending to actually see a movie, fully prepared to sweat through his or her athletic apparel in order to memorize the steps to Darude's Sandstorm.

Kinect brings the DDR experience to the doorstep of those too uncoordinated to have been the alpha dancer at their local cinema.

It’s an experience that is arguably more real (and fun) than DDR.  Kinect’s technology turns your flailing body into a one big human controller.  A camera follows your every movement and projects it onto the screen so that you can watch just how ridiculous you look.  In the game Dance Central, your job is to mimic the choreography of your onscreen avatar. The results are as sweaty as they are hilarious.

Kinect Boxing is just as aerobic.  The game allows for players to jab, straight punch, hook, evade, uppercut, guard, or body blow.  The first person in our office to try it emerged from the game room sweating, smiling, and bouncing.  “I HIGHLY recommend everyone try that new boxing game."  Replace “new boxing game” with “crack cocaine” and his excitement would have made just as much sense to me.

Sure enough, after trying it for myself, I couldn’t stop shadow boxing around the office for days.  Then I quit my job, and started boxing all day every day.  Now, I’m writing this review, asking you, begging you, to please tell me where I can get my hands on some Kinect Boxing. I'LL DO ANYTHING!

It’s quite fun.  As are Kinect MotionSports, Sonic Free Riders, and the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  Kinect truly puts the Wii to shame.  I haven’t yet played Harry Potter, but I fully expect it to be my next addiction.  Say No to Controllers!