College Football's Worst Teams: The Terrible 10 at Halloween

Big Red, Wild Willie Taggart and the wicked Western Kentucky Hilltoppers did it.

They won.

They ripped the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns 54-21 and broke their bad mojo 26-game losing streak.

College football this season is a world turned upside down.

No. 1's get knocked off and the top of the Terrible 10 rally and ride Big, mad Red to victory.

1] The State of New Mexico [1-13]

The only win the state of New Mexico has is against itself.

New Mexico State nipped New Mexico in the Billy the Kid Bowl. 

If the hills have eyes let's hope they are averted.

2]  San Jose State Spartans [1-7]

After being hammered by the likes of Wisconsin, Alabama, Utah, Nevada and Boise State the Spartans, hoped to steal a win from Fresno State.

No such luck for the Spartans as their Freddy Kruger-like nightmare of a season rolls endlessly on.

3] North Texas Mean Green [1-6]

Big Red, growling redrum! redrum!, took an ax and gave Louie Louie Lafayette 40 whacks, and when he had seen what he had done, he gave the Mean Green 41.

The rolling Hilltoppers await the Mean Green in the dark hills and dire hollows of Western Kentucky this week.

And Big Red is like the Great White in Jaws after he tasted blood.

4] Marphis [2-12]

The Doctor Moreau like merging of Marshall and Memphis has somehow made both teams worse.

Beware the evils of DNA monster splicing.

If DNA splicing really worked, USC would have a well paid rhino man mix at tackle getting all A's in zoology and driving a Hummer.  

5] Akron Zipped [0-8]

The Zips season is exploding like the martians heads in Mars Attacks! when they hear a yodel.

And if the martians attack today does anyone, beside old Levon Helm, still yodel on the radio?

6] Notre Dame Fighting Irish [4-4]

Remember Leprechaun in Space or Leprechaun in The Hood?

Hopefully not, though Lou Holtz might have been in the space one. 

But these South Bend leprechauns Saturday were worse than those bad, bad movies against the gallant lads of Navy.

7] Washington State Cougars [1-7]

Poor Paul Wulf. A bad football team and all those Halloween werewolf in Washington jokes too.

It's enough to make a coach don a Jason hockey mask.

Or just walk off campus and start running like Forrest Gump.

8] Tennessee Volunteers [2-5]

Its been a southern Gothic season in Rocky Top land, but at least they shipped spoiled Eddie Munster to Southern California.

9] Minnesota Golden Gophers [1-7]

Horror is hard to find in Minnesota.

The Gopher season might be the scariest thing in Minnesota since that Home Alone brat tried to murder that annoying hobbit in The Good Son.

10] Football in the East

When did college football in the east become an Ed Wood movie?

Between the bad B movie Big East, bad Boston College and plummeting Penn State, Joe Paterno must feel like Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes, staring at the fallen Statue of Liberty, a collapsed civilization and wandering what the hell happened?  

And why isn't he playing Pitt anymore?

And where's Vampira?