College Football Crapshoot: Not Too Late to Hop on UCLA Bruins Bandwagon

Week 5 Crappy Record: 4-2

Cumulative Crappy Record: 23-7

There's nothing crappy about a 4-2 Week 4 record—unless, of course, it's in the College Football Crapshoot.  Then everything's crappy.  But through the first half of the college football season, we've registered the good crap.  You know, the liberating kinds you take after a big ol' corn on the cob?  Or even two?  Maybe throw in some greens.

Screw it, run the clip already.

Crappy Video of the Week:  Referees Conspire to Prevent Riot in Baton Rouge


Here's What I Know Will Happen

I KNOW Miami Will Beat Florida State Outright: This time 10 years ago, Canes/Noles did numbers that suggested that the revolution was literally televised.  Now, even with both teams ranked, this legendary rivalry is still struggling to regain its swagger, whatever that means.

The Canes are more battle-tested to this point in the season, coming off three tough road games, and will be returning home for Miami for the first time in over a month to play their chief rival. 

In the context of college football's former favorite blood war, Miami has held up its end of the bargain as it inches closer to prominence with every defensive stand after a Jacory Harris interception.  Florida State is getting there.  This game figures to be close, like they all are, but Miami at home with the better defense will be the difference.

I KNOW Utah (-6) Will Cover at Iowa State: Quite possibly the best team you're not talking about (and I can't blame you) is the Utah Utes.  Staying true to their well-mannered ways, you won't hear a Utes fan moping about why he no ges reespec from the BCS.

However, the Utes have a top-10 defense, and their up-and-coming quarterback Jordan Wynn should be 100 percent after battling a thumb injury.  Don't let the Big 12 banner scare you off because Iowa State will be lost at sea once the Utes score quickly and keep gunning.  Utah wins in a rout that nobody wants to talk about.

Here's What I Think Will Happen

I THINK UCLA (+7.5) Covers at Cal: The Bruins continue a desperate surge to save Rick Neuheisel's job, and so far, so good. 

A home game against the Bruins may be all Cal needs to rebound from two rough losses, but I just don't trust this Bears team against the red hot Bruins, who are legitimately in Pac-10 championship contention.  With more on the line, expect the Bruins to have intangibles and intensity on their side, while their defense does more than enough to make Kevin Riley look like, well, Kevin Riley.

I THINK Boise State (-39) covers vs. Toledo: And why not?  Playing their third road game in four weeks under the bright lights of the toughest place to play in sports, Toledo will not stand a chance.  The Broncos will be afforded yet another opportunity to impress voters in a night game against inferior competition.

State needs to do all they can to maintain (and possibly improve) their standing in the coaches polls just in case the unthinkable happens and they lose to Nevada in November.  Which hopefully they do.

Boise State wins, and America is watching whatever is on a Saturday during the start of the second quarter (is SNICK still goin'?).  I think.

Here's What I'm Probably Wrong About...

I'M PROBABLY WRONG, But Texas A&M (+6) Covers vs. Arkansas: Texas A&M continues to do us proud as a strong sleeper candidate in the Big 12.  They should have won that game last week at Oklahoma State, and while Jerrod Johnson's continual mental lapses are causes for concern, the Aggies have the edge at home against the Razorbacks, who will be looking ahead to a big SEC showdown against Auburn.

Ryan Mallet has a future in the NFL (as the on-again, off-again boyfriend of fantasy  football nerd), but it'll be interesting to see where his head will be at after two weeks of stewing over the fact that he blew it for Hogs.  Arkansas runs into an ambush against a highly underrated Texas Tech team.

I'M PROBABLY WRONG, But Washington State (+39) Covers vs. Oregon: Coming off of an emotional win on national television, Oregon now must now take a cab down the street to play the seemingly unassuming Washington State Cougars.  Oregon does not play back to back home games at the Terrordome of Autzen Stadium, and while that has yet to slow them down, I am of the belief that such inconsistency is bound to take its toll on the Ducks.

Washington State is a bad team in a good conference—the best in college football from my vantage point.

The Cougars will not be intimidated by a familiar opponent who may be a bit inflated coming off an impressive win on a big stage.  I see the Ducks coming out flat as they did against Stanford last week and pulling away late.

The discussion is never over!  Follow Big Nasty on Twitter at twitter.com/ThisIsNasty, until he files a restraining order.  Big Nasty is the editor of the Big Nasty Athletic Dept.