Mike Singletary: The Emperor Has No Pants

How did it all go so wrong, so fast for the 49ers?

This was supposed to be it; the year they finally rise from the abyss and make it back to the playoffs for the first time since 2002.

The NFC West was set up for them on a silver platter.

The Arizona Cardinals, the two-time defending division champions lost their best player, quarterback Kurt Warner to retirement and many of their best defenders to free agency.

The Seattle Seahawks are undergoing massive rebuilding with new coach Pete Carroll at the helm. Their signal-caller, Matt Hasselbeck is oft-injured and clearly on the down slope of his career.

The St. Louis Rams have been pitiful for years and have just recently begun the process of starting anew, with rookie quarterback Sam Bradford who's going to suffer some growing pains as well as a lot of bruises.

San Francisco, meanwhile, was coming off an 8-8 season, with the roster largely intact -all 22 starters were back- and there were reasons for optimism with virtually every unit on the team.

The defense, which was among the league leaders in sacks, turnovers forced and fewest rushing yards allowed in 2009, added another pass rusher off the edge in linebacker Travis LaBoy in free agency, as well as a couple of supreme athletes in safety Taylor Mays (second-round, USC) and linebacker NaVorro Bowman (third-round, Penn State) to groom as replacements for veterans Michael Lewis and Takeo Spikes.

On special teams, where the returners were a disaster last season, especially on punts, the team traded for Ted Ginn Jr. and drafted Kyle Williams, an All Pac-10 punt returner at Arizona State.

The offensive line had numerous problems last season, so the team spent two first-round picks on tackle Anthony Davis (Rutgers) and guard Mike Iupati (Idaho).

There were skill players galore everywhere you looked. From running back Frank Gore, to Vernon Davis, who tied a league record for most touchdowns in a season by a tight end with 13, to receiver Michael Crabtree, who was finally going to experience a training camp after missing it his rookie year in a contract squabble.

Heck, there were even reasons to be optimistic about quarterback Alex Smith. Not only was he coming off his best season (admittedly not a high bar to clear), but he was finally going to be playing for the same offensive coordinator -Jimmy Raye- for consecutive training camps, meaning he wouldn't have to spend his summer learning a new playbook for once.

Most of all they had head coach Mike Singletary, an ex-Hall of Fame linebacker turned inspirational leader. The players respect him, listen to him, and run through walls for him. With his booming voice, commanding presence and catchy soundbites, he is the closest thing to a coaching "rock star" outside of the New York Jets' Rex Ryan.

It was supposed to be a coronation for the 49ers as just about every football pundit predicted they would dominate the NFC West. Bill Simmons, "The Sports Guy" from ESPN.com, went so far as to claim they'd finish 13-3.

Well, they've got the three losses part nailed down already.

In a span of two months, it's all unraveled spectacularly. Just about everything that could go wrong, has, no matter where you care to look.

Two players quit on the team in training camp. The first, defensive end Kentwan Balmer, because he was dissatisfied with his role, and the second, running back Glen Coffee, because he decided to pursue the ministry instead.

No big deal, right? Neither player figured prominently in the team's plans, and besides, they signed Brian Westbrook to replace Coffee two days later.

Crabtree missed the entire preseason with a neck injury and most of the training camp practices as well. He got into a skirmish with Davis during the last week of camp because Davis accused him of dogging it. Smith expressed frustration with not having a chance to get on the same page with the aloof, coddled wideout.

Singletary claimed that "the elephant has been exposed" and most figured a fire would be lit under Crabtree now that his apathy had been put out into the public.

Instead Crabtree went even deeper into his private bunker, and seems perfectly content to be a west coast version of Albert Haynesworth. When he does bother to engage the media, it's only to absolve himself of any responsibility of anything that's gone wrong, laying all the blame at the feet of Smith and Raye without hesitation.

Then came the first game at Seattle, where the 49ers were woefully unprepared to deal with a loud, hostile crowd. They landed a couple of early jabs against the Seahawks, but once Seattle punched back they showed no fight and cowered in the corner.

There were numerous play-calling issues between Raye and Smith and afterward Singletary had no idea what was going on. An article from Yahoo sports columnist Jason Cole came out two days later which ridiculed Raye and detailed all the ways their system of getting plays into Smith is chaotic and inefficient.

When challenged with the issue, Singletary seemed more bothered that there could be a "rat" inside the building than by the allegations themselves. A woefully out-of-touch Raye -Singletary's handpicked hire- remarked, "I don't know who this Yahoo is, but maybe he should call the plays."

Smith and the rest of the offense played markedly better in their home opener, a Monday nighter against the defending champion New Orleans Saints, and even had an encouraging two-minute drive to tie the game late, but were ultimately done in by four turnovers.

The defense forced a few punts, but never a critical miscue out of Drew Brees, and ultimately he drove his team down the field for the winning field goal at the gun.

Whatever good feelings the team took away from that loss were eradicated for good after last Sunday's 31-10 humiliating defeat at Kansas City.

Raye's offense looked inept again on the road. Either he called pointless runs up the gut against a Chiefs defense stacked up front to stop Gore, or short screens and hitches. The offense never gave Davis, the rookie tackle, any help out on his island and he was beaten off the snap by Kansas City's Tamba Hali for three sacks.

The defense couldn't stop Kansas City's draws or stretch runs, and were caught totally unaware by a flea-flicker from Matt Cassel to Derrick Bowe. Every time they brought in LaBoy and his nickel rusher partner in crime, Ahmad Brooks, the Chiefs took advantage of their one-dimensionality and over-aggressiveness by calling screens or draws.

Singletary's idea of leadership was calling timeouts ‘til the bitter end, so the team could drive for a meaningless last second touchdown, which almost cost him receiver Josh Morgan in the process.

Former bay area athletes Tom Tolbert, a forward on those "Run TMC" Golden State Warriors teams of the early 90's who's now a radio host and Brent Jones, who starred as a tight end for the 49ers during the 90's, both dismissed the decision as foolish, embarrassing, and bush league.

They alleged that Singletary, as a former player himself, should've known better than to expose his guys to senseless danger in the face of a blowout.

After the game Singletary insisted that Raye would remain his offensive coordinator, before changing his mind a day later and firing Raye; handing the job to untested and unproven quarterbacks coach Mike Johnson.

When asked about his offensive philosophy, Singletary responded, “The thing that I want to do, the most important thing to me is winning. How we do it, I really don’t care. I want to do what we need to do to win football games. That’s the philosophy that I want to become very familiar with.”

Some vision, eh?

On the day the team flew to Atlanta, they did so without safety Michael Lewis, who is looking very much like runaway No. 3. He asked for assurances last Monday that his starting job was safe after an ESPN.com report suggested otherwise, and was apparently told something else on Friday.

Multiple reports claim that Lewis was upset after being informed that Mays would be sprinkled into the lineup in the coming weeks. His agent claimed that the situation has quickly deteriorated “beyond repair” and Lewis has requested his release.

How can the lines of communication between the coaches and players on this team –on and off the field- be so frayed?

How can a team that was picked to win its division have seemingly so many holes?

The fearsome defense of 2009 looks old, slow, and lacking in playmakers. They have three sacks in as many games, and have forced but two turnovers.

The offensive line looks as leaky as ever and positively lost on the road, unable to open holes for Gore or protect Smith for all but the quickest of routes.

Their prized receiver’s behavior deviates between disinterested and cancerous.

The returners have been ineffective as ever, thanks to a Week 1 injury to the slight-of-frame Ginn.

Surely a team in such disarray needs some of Singletary’s famous leadership now, more than ever, with a road game against an Atlanta team that stomped them 45-10 at San Francisco last season just two days away, and then a date with the speedy Philadelphia Eagles with a rejuvenated Michael Vick coming up after that.

You’d think there’s some wisdom Singletary can pluck from his playing days, some anecdote from his years of experience he can relate to the team to inspire the guys.

What’s the common denominator for teams that win on the road, coach?

“I don’t know. I hope to become one of them real soon, but I don’t know. I couldn’t answer that.”

Perhaps this is a bad time to mention that Singletary, who had no head coaching experience at any level before the 49ers hired him on an interim basis in 2008, owes much of what little success he’s had with the team to three people who are no longer who are no longer with the organization.

Former general manager Scot McCloughan drafted or scouted most of his useful players.

Former quarterback Shaun Hill won five of the final nine games in 2008, playing mostly a schedule of softies including the Washington Redskins, the Buffalo Bills, the New York Jets (where Brett Favre was playing with a busted biceps tendon), and the Rams twice.

Former offensive coordinator Mike Martz designed a scheme that worked around Hill’s considerable limitations, yet he and Singletary didn’t see eye to eye because he preferred to throw too much in situations that weren’t three touchdown deficits.

Whenever those Niners played anyone halfway decent, such as the Cardinals, the Miami Dolphins or the Dallas Cowboys, they did what Singletary’s teams do now: lose.

That Niners squad also lost to the Seahawks, who were 1-5 at the time but thrashed Singletary’s team 34-13 to spoil his coaching debut.

Singletary tried to rally the team at halftime by showing them his backside. X’s and O’s adjustments weren’t his forte then and they aren’t now.

As Mike Lombardi, a former general manager in the league who now works for the NFL Network put it, “If you’re not coaching the offense and you’re not coaching the defense, the team is paying you a heckuva lot of money for the pregame speech.”

You have to wonder who’s even listening to those speeches anymore.

The Pick: Falcons 27, 49ers 17 (Record 0-3)